It's too easy. People get divorced, simply because they are not happy anymore. When they do not even sit down and try to figure things out with their mate. They don't understand that marriage isn't all about being IN LOVE, but to LOVE, and create a healthy family, with the support of your partner. It's just too easy to give up, and look for something you think is better.
Divorce should be illegal because if it was illegal then people would ponder the idea a little longer before they decided to get married. When a couple decides to get married and they have a slight feeling that it may not work in the future they may be putting a potential child's life in jeopardy. That is- if the child is born into a rocky marriage and she/he grows up in a single parent home she/he is less likely to have the confidence in her/him self to accomplish larger things, set substantial goals, be able to be in a committed relationship and so on.
I don't want a divorce. My husband and I spent years talking about how we would never get divorced. Especially after having our daughter. But one day he just decided he didn't love me anymore after a 6 year marriage. He started seeing someone else. How is that okay??? How is it okay for him to hurt me this way? An unwanted divorce causes physical pain. Not just emotional pain. So why can't anything be done to stop it? It shouldn't be so easy to walk away. I know in my heart that if he and I would just go to counseling, we could have made if work. If he just got the help he needed to deal with the problems of his youth, my child and I wouldn't not have to feel the sting of his absence. Being left by your spouse for another woman is the most painful experience I've ever been through. I've lost 2 grandparents, an aunt, and 3 close friends in the past 4 years and then my husband left me. I can assure you, I know pain. I know loss. Going through a divorce that you don't want, that you can't stop, knowing you have given everything you have to make it work is THE most painful thing a person can go through. And I don't think it should be legal for someone to hurt another person this way, without any repercussion.
I got dumped and my wife is using " the kids" as an excuse. The amount of bitterness and hatred I have now towards my wife is off the charts. Conflict us natural and can always be recovered from but abandonment just creates a lifelong conflict and although kids adapt, they are forever changed and gave learned how to give up. I hope my ex drinks herself to death so I can heal
I'm a child of divorce, I'm not going to go into the detail of the emotional pain that it has caused but its a lot. I understand cases of abuse and drugs but I think if you loved each other enough to get married then it should stay that way.
If you're big enough and grown up enough to get married then you can make the right choice as to whom you want to marry. It's a promise of eternal love now mind you I am atheist so this has no religious connotation but I believe that if you said I do then you should have to stick with that person forever. You made certain commitments. Marriage has become devalued and a joke due to the 50% divorce rate. People need to use their heads, think before a decision, and not be stupid cause sometimes mistakes stick with you you're whole life and if your marriage was one then so be it. Oops I guess shouldn't have done that huh?
If you think that at the end of the day marriage is just a contract then you should not be getting married. Say what you will but marriage is religious. No matter who your God is or even if you are only spiritual, marriage is built on love, faith in eachother, and hope for a long happy marriage. That being said that does not mean if is easy. That especially doesn't meant that you and your partner are amune to making mistakes. When you get married you are not saying "I will love you forever as long as you never change and you never make a mistake." That's just not possible. People grow. People change. People make mistakes. Marriage is suppose to be unbreakable, meaning that no matter what happens, excluding abuse but including adultery in my opinion, you are not to leave one another. You can be angry but still loving. That is, believe it or not, the commitment you make on your wedding day. You are making a commitment to eachother, yourself, and your future family. If divorce was illegal people would make better decisions in choosing their spouse and fight for their family when things get hard. That's the way is was for centuries and that's the way it should be. Divorce is a COWARDLY and SELFISH attempt to find a quick fix for a slightly less than perfect life.
The whole point of having things like weddings and rings and marriage licenses is to show a marriage something. People act like it's just some generic relationship that they could end any time feel like it. People end their marriages for little things that most people could probably work out if they actually tried, but because it is easier to risk breaking up your family than tolerating the everyday faults of a person you promised to spend your life with, people think they get a divorce with out any risk of hurting the people around them. Also people are too accepting of divorce, the divorce rate is still under 50% but everybody assumes that a child not living with both their parents or that everybody has a ex-spouse or children from previous marriages.
Marriage is, and has been for thousands of years, more than just a contract. Marriage is a commitment for life and there are countless benefits to lifetime partnerships that are lost when it is no longer a lifetime partnership (Google "marriage prisoner's dilemma"). If you want a civil arrangement that is only a contract and easily terminated, I think that would be a fine thing to introduce into law, but just because civil society wants something similar to marriage, doesn't allow it to usurp the term and then water it down.
Researchers have identified the most common reasons people give for their divorces. A recent national survey79 found that the most common reason given for divorce was “lack of commitment” (73% said this was a major reason). Other significant reasons included too much arguing (56%), infidelity (55%), marrying too young (46%), unrealistic expectations (45%), lack of equality in the relationship (44%), lack of preparation for marriage (41%), and abuse (29%). (People often give more than one reason, so the percentages add up to more than 100%.) LIKE SERIOUSLY?! Most could be prevented, shouldn't of gotten married in the first place.
Through out my childhood my parents constantly fought. Because of the societies they were born in, both were very against divorce. It was taboo to them. So they kept trying to 'make it work'.
Marriage counseling, date nights, time away from eachother, sitting down and talking it out. They'd make it work if it killed them.
After all they had me and my siblings to think of. Ironically their attempts to keep things under wraps just made things worse. Children pick up on a lot more than adults give them credit for. We knew they were unhappy.
Despite the issues in their marriage they were both very good people who raised their children to the best of their ability. I loved them both and because I loved them both I wished they would find other people to make them happy. They were miserable and we were miserable and it wasn't working at all. Sometimes I feel slightly resentful .
My parents had a brutal divorce when I was eight years old, and it has had plenty of negative consequences in my life- never feeling like my family was as good as the 'perfect' (two-parent) families my classmates had, having to deal with having two different houses (which can be spectacularly annoying) always comparing my two parents even though I didn't try to. Although I do have these life experiences, I don't think divorce should be made illegal. In the cases of abuse, cheating, or even just a relationship that is clearly not working, divorce can be the best solution for everyone involved. I have realized that although my childhood was changed drastically because of my parents' divorce, it is much better than having then yell at each other for hours, while I lied awake and knew that they didn't love each other anymore. Divorce is the most permanent form of separation between two partners, and sometimes it reaches a point where the marriage isn't functional anymore and divorce is necessary to the well-being of one or both partners (and any children that resulted from the marriage.)
I don't think it should be banned or illegal because if you do not love someone anymore than leave and don't make them go through that pain of coming home to a miserable relationship. Also for the kids. I come from a split family and i see that my parents are happier apart than they ever were together. So don't take away something that is our right.
Divorce should be harder to get but not illegal entirely. If divorce was illegal it would be too hard for women or men to get out of abusive, or dangerous marriages.
Today over 45 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce and "about 40 percent of children will experience their parents' divorce, with about 80 percent of them placed primarily in the physical custody of their biological mother". Divorce represents one of the most stressful life events for both children and their parents. Major stressors and risk factors include the initial period after separation, parental conflict, the loss of vital relationships, financial problems, and repartnering or remarriage. Many educators, politicians, mental health workers, family theorists, and the media portray divorced families as unfit for the successful upbringing of children. They believe that only married families can provide a warm and nurturing environment in which children can thrive. Some family scholars even argue that "the breakdown of the traditional family [destroys] the basic fabric of American society and contributes to a vast array of social problems that will carry on into future generations".
In cases such as abuse, cheating, drugs, etc...Then it is needed. People can't just live with people they thought were great people but are actually a threat to their entire family. Yes, I agree that people shouldn't just get married because they want to, and then after a little time and a lot of drinks decide upon getting a divorce. But for example: my uncle got a divorce with his first wife because she kept lying. Now, he's re-married with one kid and one on the way. The same issue reoccurred with my aunt, except for a few things: 1) they weren't married, but 2) her partner did much worse things. What did he do? Drugs, got drunk, kept lying & trying to win her back, proposed to her & then continued to date other women and kiss them, and last but not least, got arrested. If they had gotten married a couple months before planned, it wouldn't have been good. What would all you who voted YES do in this case???
Those that say yes argue about how divorce is harmful and is happening too often. I agree that those in marriage could be more responsible, but a complete ban like making divorce illegal would prove physically and emotionally harmful across a long term to those in the family. Divorce should be made harder, not prevented.
This will discourage people to get married in the first place. Divorce is a natural thing in marriage. Without divorce the world will be a worse place. If you think about it like a sane person not someone who is on la la gas thinking love is forever. Well newsflash for you its not, people rush into marriage all the time, if they have to live with that mistake then there would be suicides, or moving out of america to get a divorce. If you support this you are supporting Hitler and the Nazi party trying to ruin the world.
Everyone who has is getting a divorce should go through much therapy. If they still hate their situation then get a divorce for heavens sake. Also, if one of your parent is sexually or physically abuse by the other spouse, you would really want them out of there. And honestly I would want myself out of the house too. So if it's not a safe environment get out of there. It's not worth the pain!
Yes, it's true that divorce is hard, and hurts people. But if you have an abusive husband, a cheating wife, it wouldn't be fair to have to spend the rest of your life with someone. And sometimes, a marriage seems promising, but then one person in the marriage may meet another person they want to spend the rest of their life with. Marriage shows your true colours. And think of it this way: Would you rather be divorced and free or in a marriage and hate it?
So please don't tell me I should have died miserable. Life is too short. I value my life. I planned well and worked hard to divorce my spouse. Yes the divorce was dufficult on us but we now communicate better than we did when married. Our son is fine. He says "I have two homes. A mommy home and a Daddy home". I tell him that both homes are good homes. He gets it. Mommy and Daddy no longer fight. I understand that many adults act like infants and do not know how to behave like civilized persons or how to control their emotions or that the reason children are most hurt during a divorce is because they become vindictive. But that you see is simply not my problem. They behave with the same maturity during their bad marriages. How suffocating and hopeless life would be if I could not have gotten a legal divorce.