Gay marriage should definitely be legal. There is no reason that it should not be legal and everyone who says otherwise needs to mind their own business. Likewise, it is nobody else's business if a man in the army married a woman or another man. If the pair are legally married then it should be treated like any other marriage.
Regardless of whether the relationship is that of a heterosexual couple who is married or a same sex couple who is married, bottom line, there is a marriage. Benefits are intended for spouses of military members. Just because the married couple is gay is not a negation of their marriage.
Gay spouses deserve all of the status and privileges that come with being married. They should get all of the governmental benefits, including military benefits. The only difference between gay couples and straight couples is the gender of the partners involved. They should be treated as equals when it comes to marriage.
There should be no designation between a gay spouse and a straight spouse. They are both simply spouses, and should be entitled to all the same benefits and rights. Sexual orientation should have no bearing on who receive benefits and who does not, and to insinuate that it should is ridiculous.