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Should men always pay for dates? (Note: Heterosexual Dates)

Asked by: Theunkown
  • Nothing But Custom

    I guess its more of a custom. Men have generally paid for the meal, not because its sexist, but its custom. That's how its generally been for a long time. Its been looked down upon in most cultures if woman have to pay. I'm not bringing equality into play either, but it just seems it's always been that way. Plus, we insist (I'm a man). If we couldn't pay it, I could have asked my date or spouse to cover me.

  • Yes...But only as a trick.

    I pay for the first date, if she accepts and smiles, it means is not a woman I want to go out with again. It might have worked it might not have. But I got out more than once with a woman who offers to pay half of the first date, or says the next date is on her. Now that is equality.

    Posted by: N711
  • If one had to pay first, it would be nice if it is the male

    I dont believe "should" and "always" are right keys terms to use. For some reason, when it comes to paying for dates I do not want to bring male and female equality into play. I dont think males should be mandated to pay, however when it comes to one of them paying, I believe it looks more charming and more romantic if the male does so. It is just the nature of heterosexual relationships. I am not trying to say that males are more dominant, or woman should be under their control. Males serve the role of a protector in a relationship, with that being said making the first offer should be their role.

  • If you want

    To appear as a strong, charming, romantic fellow that most ladies would want to be with, it is a requirement. While it is not exactly fair, you are courting the lady and she is supposed to mean everything to you, even more than money. It is a great gesture that potentially shows how much you value her.

  • What is the point of dating?

    The whole point of dating is to have fun and get to know each other. Applying rules like 'the man always pays' subverts the whole point. I was raised in a family where paying for dinner, movie, etc. was encouraged as generous good manners. My sister was raised the same way. The default rule was that whoever made the invitation paid, but if we were the invitees, we offered to pay anyway, and sometimes did so. This had significant dating benefits.
    1) We always went out with the intention to contribute to the good time. The financial contribution was only the beginning. It went along with good manners, polite and engaging conversation, kindness, and real concern that we contributed to our date having a good time.
    2) It was a way to demonstrate we valued the time we spent with our companions. We never went just to get a free meal or round of putt-putt golf, and we made sure our dates had no doubt we went out with THEM because we actually LIKED them.
    3) The necessary preparation for paying made us more likely to suggest free or inexpensive activities that were focused on interaction rather than paid entertainment. When getting to know someone, a date at a restaurant pales in comparison to an evening of cooking with each other, a picnic, or just hanging out at the beach.
    4) It disarmed the prostitution-obligation bomb. My sister and my dates never had to deal with the pseudo-obligation of 'he paid so I have to have sex'. That takes a lot of pressure off the situation and frees people to relax and have a good time.
    5) The possible number and type of activities was not limited by the man's finances.

    There is nothing intrinsically wrong with a man being traditional in believing he ought to pay, but there is something mercenary and shallow in a woman being traditional insofar as expecting the man ALWAYS to pay. It mitigates the benefits of courtship for there to be a rigid rule that the financial burden is always and only borne by the man, or even by whoever has the most money.

  • No, men should not

    I am not heterosexual, but I think it's completely sexist to expect men to ALWAYS pay for dates. If women want to be treated as equals in society then they should be expected to pay for dates as well. You cannot get the freedom you want and freeload off of your gender. That is, unless you are willing to at least return the favor. You can't have it both ways. That's just my viewpoint.

  • It is only fair..

    ..That men and women spilt any expenditure 50-50. In this day and age when both of the sexes are equal, why should the man be expected to pay 100%.
    Perhaps if it is a first date and the man asked the woman out then he should cover all expenses. But on the same token, if a woman asks out a man then she should cover all the expenses. Or the man should only pay if the woman is under financial difficulties.
    Some might say that "men need to be gentlemanly", well woman need to prove themselves not to be "gold-diggers" as well.

  • No why should always we men have to pay

    As nowdays women do also earn money and we men have our own rights for ourselves we are not born here to serve girls and woman and in today world as women and men are treated equally so i recommend 50/50 and women should also pay for their own as they are also earning not just we men

  • It Depends on the situation

    Maybe on a first or second date to make a good impression, but I honestly wouldn't mind splitting the bill.
    Or just pay for everything.
    Example, I have a pretty expensive chocolate muffin with a cup of hot chocolate with cream.. Of course.
    And my 'date' only had a cup of tea or regular coffee.
    It would seem logical that I'd pay, why not?

  • These phenomena just emerge because of the ashes of history.

    These phenomena just emerge because the women rights have been suppressed historically. The only thing that can justify only men should pay for their dates is nothing but because of distorted women rights. However, Look at this world. In Japan, there had been lots of so-called bubble girls who just wanted men to do everything 20 years ago. Even though they got proper rights and social positions, they still pretended to be weak and fragile girls. These days, they finally realized that it is true for them to choose one between fragile women who don't have authorities and strong women who can do everything in this world.

  • Only on occasion

    Being an egalitarian, I must disagree with this. Women are perfectly capable of earning more than their fair share and are not necessarily in need of financial assistance. I would rather be with someone who is at my side than behind me. You know like in the westerns novels? Of course I do acknowledge the fact that it is arduous at best to prove for ones family when under let's say certain circumstances ( maternity leave). Even so never underestimate a human being,regardless of sex or whatever the kids say these days...


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