Should parents be allowed to read teens' text messages?
Hilarious
This survey is too funny--all of the yes votes that I have read are parents and all of the no votes I see are kids. LOL...When you grow up, CHILDREN, and pay your own bills you can have your privacy. The reason being is that we as parents have the responsibility of making sure you are making the right choices and sometimes with ever growing ways of communicating kids do not use their brains that God gave them and make a mistake that cannot be taken back. We are here to raise you and protect you from yourselves.
Posted by: KatMarieYou want privacy?
Use snail mail. And YOU pay for the stamps, envelopes, and paper. Or actually talk on the phone. Even if your parents pay for it, there's nothing more than plain old eavesdropping that they can do to track your phone conversations when spoken.
And if there's nothing concerning in your texts and contacts, then checks will likely become less common as your parents gain trust in you. After all, trust is earned, not freely given.Posted by: AnonymousParents are Right
I'm a Teen, and my phone is regularly checked. I understand why they do it however, and it is very justified, otherwise you might end up going places where you shouldn't, or end up messing up your life - forever. Nothing you post can truly go away, but with parent's monitoring what you post, you have a much less chance of doing something you shouldn't.
Posted by: AnonymousParents Have the Right.
Parents are supposed to protect you, and probably either bought your phone or pay your bills. There are other ways to communicate and get privacy. Also, parents should be able to trust their kids, so why not double check? They should not do bad stuff, so it can't hurt. Parents have a responsibility to protect you. Let them do their job.
Posted by: AnonymousParents Should be Prudent
Parents obviously should be allowed to read their children's text messages if they feel the need to do so. Prohibiting this would similar to prohibiting police from pulling over drunk drivers. Nobody wants to get pulled over by the police but we always worry about the other person driving drunk and recklessly. Similarly, parents need this right because of those children that are either problematic or incapable of making good decisions. Parents whose children do not fall into this category should be careful about betraying their children's trusts by overusing this right to look at their texts. Maybe they should just randomly check the text messages.
Posted by: AnonymousThere isn't any 'allowed' about it.
My child lives in my house, she does not have a job or money, she is under 18. I WILL read her texts until she is on her own. Period. Again, there is no 'allowed' about it. It is plain and simply something that WILL happen.
Until she is old enough to support herself, provide for herself and or any mistakes she might make, I will be aware of what going on in her life. She can have complete freedom from these things when she can provide it for herself.Posted by: AnonymousFind a balance
Parents of teenagers should absolutely have the right to read text messages (which to be fair they usually are funding) of their children if they have a genuine concern about them. However, this should be done with the permission of their child and respect of their child and only as a last result after talking through their concern with said child. Constantly checking on your child's behaviour will cause them to lose trust in you and feel stressed and claustrophobic, however a parent has the right to know what their children are up to if they have a genuine concern, otherwise leave them alone- they probably don't deserve the stress and violation of privacy that overbearing parents cause. They are people too. Fancy that.
Posted by: AnonymousYes
Because parents need to know about their teens life and try to help them with any problems
Posted by: AnonymousPLEASE READ! PARENTS AND KIDS
Parents: set up a plan with your child to keep them safe happy and respected privacy. Think outside the box. Your actually driving your child away instead of bringing them closer. Most of the dumb things I do is because I'm so mad at my parents. So please consider stopping this.
Kids: all your parent are trying to do is keep you safe. Try to set up a nice plan with them where your privacy is respected but you are still safe and happy. I suggest Kindle Fire HD because you can monitor your kids time on games and online and stuff. It may cost a lot but this is probably something your kid would agree with (when having a plan always make sure you both agree!) so you and your kid(s) could save up together.Posted by: AnonymousYes we do
Parents are legally responsible for their children. I know of past cases where parents have been arrested for crimes a child has done and they also can be held financially responsible. You are protecting your child by getting in front of activity that is suspicious
we should be allowed to see everything a cop or teacher or doctor and counselor can see I monitor my kids PC phone chat room Facebook everything they do I know it end of decision for me
I your a liberal and think you are invading their privacy welll have fun in jail and paying ou what they owePosted by: jiveyWho is paying the bill for phone, internet etc.?
Of course children / teens / young adults do not believe that you should be snooping into what they want to call "their privacy". They also think they know everything and can make wise decisions. They think it is ok to text and drive, drink and drive and show their private parts while on spring break....Young ones think they should not have to go to school or have a bedtime ...Do I have to go on....I think everyone gets the picture...... Bottom line is, THEY are not paying for a phone, internet, computers, ipads and the electricity it takes to keep them running and until they do those items are NOT THEIRS. They are the property of the parent or guardian and can be looked at, searched, monitored at anytime they please. I was paying for my 30 year old daughters phone and internet when she got a divorce and when I heard her gossiping and being mean on the phone I shut it off. When I found out the type of things she was posting on facebook I had the internet removed. She knew what the boundries where and chose to use those divices for avenues to hurt others which is unacceptable to me. She now pays for her own phone and what she chooses to do with it is her business but she will not be doing it on my dime. If you are not doing anything wrong then there should not be a problem with anyone looking at your text messages or emails which by the way are not private anyway and if you think they are you are grossly mistaken. If you feel you should have privacy and you are old enough then get a job, be responsible, and pay for all of your electronical gadgets yourself and you may also want to move out on your own until then, my house my rules....
Posted by: AnonymousParents reading text messages can reduce peer pressure, and many other bad things in texting.
I am also a teenager, and reading the no's was mostly on just one thing. I think they shoud be able to read them, because of all the dangerous things in the world. a 13 year old boy/girl new more about things then they did 40 years ago. As you notice on the news about teens using drugs more often then they have before. Using a simple text message to one of your friends about drugs or anything can start peer pressure. You're not talking in person so it's easier to text it then actually say it. I was reading a story in CNN about a computer programmer who figured out slang use of words to cover so parents won't get it. He does have a website up with the meaning of the slang use of words. I looked at one and it said tdtml. This means talk dirty to me later. Parents should be able to ask for the phone to see what they are talking about. They should be able to ask for it at random times. My parents also told me that they will check my phone whenever giving me a heads up that i will just hand it over at any time. This has helped me a lot in my life to stay away from peer pressure and many other things as well. Using the website noslang.com can help you parents figure out what their kids are texting. Reading the CNN report on what they could code for words was absolutely amazing. Go to cnn.com and in the search bar type in "Parents do you know what these texts mean?". Parents you will be stunned at the reports and the type of coding teens use in these days.
Posted by: AnonymousYou should definitely monitor your teen's text messages!
It's part of being a responsible parent. I recently found some very disturbing messages on my daughter's cell phone, and now really wish I had started checking her text messages a year ago. Unfortunately, when I finally did look at the messages on her phone, it was too late to make a difference.
Posted by: AnonymousParents have the right, to help protect their child.
I think it depends on the age. My child is 13 and yes, I check his phone. However, teens do deserve privacy for sure, but since my child started dating, I've wanted to see the appropriateness of their conversations. I do not check texts between the friends (unless I see a lot of swearing back and forth.) There is also bullying that happens via texting, and it is important to make sure your child isn't bullying or someone isn't bullying her/him. Young teens do A LOT of stupid things and they need parental guidance, but there is a fine line between snooping and making sure your child is doing the right thing.
Posted by: free2beBy all means!
E and I are going through this with our 12 yr old this very second!
We have her during the week school etc... And her mom takes her on the weekends. Basically her mom undoes every value we try and install through out the week. Instead, her 'mother' tells us that WE are invading her privacy. She's TWELVE! Turns out, all the kids these days that DO have the privacy they expect, shoot up schools, are on drugs, or commit suicide'Posted by: jonbreIrresponsible, destructive behavior has severe consequences
Better to curb the destruction at home with parents than in the world where the consequences are doled out by others who do not have the same love for the child or teen. Facebook and other social networks are like fire. They can be a wonderful exciting tool, or downright deadly! When a young child plays with fire, it is to be taken away TO PROTECT THEM AND OTHERS; until the child UNDERSTANDS and realizes the danger. Then they can use fire responsibly, safely and productively. Children often destroy their lives unwittingly with social networks; legally, physically, socially and the list goes on. But because they are surrounded by others doing the same - they believe in the numbers they are safe and just having fun. Social networking out of control has very high penalties and danger that the majority of children/teens are unequipped to recognize due to simple lack of knowledge. Maturity, discretion and careful choices are learned with time. These are necessary. Children, learn them from those who truly love you! Without them, it's like giving a set of car keys to a 10 year old and loosing them on the highway... and unfortunately, children are all too likely to see the social online forum as a mere playground where anything goes, rather than an avenue for great harm without proper use.
Posted by: AnonymousA child is a minor
My parents went through almost everrything I "owned" and I turned out perfectly fine. Yes when I was younger I thought it was an absolute pain and had no clue why they even dared to but now I look back and see. I was a minor technically I didn't "own" any thing because a minor cannot enter into a contract and be held accountable to it. Also now me and my mother are closer than ever. So the trust issue is not a good excuse!
Posted by: AnonymousTheir house, their rules.
Same thing goes with a cell phone. If the parent pays the bill every month, buys the phone, and listens to the kids complaining about how they need an upgrade every six months, then the parent has the right to monitor the kids' use of the phone. If teens don't like it, they can go out, get jobs, and pay their own cell phone bills. Everything has a price, and having lived through the kid's side of this one, having my dad glance through who I've been talking to every now and then is a very small price to pay for the privilege of a phone.
Posted by: AnonymousThere are many reasons.
One reason parents should be allowed this option is to protect their child. As a parent, it is their responsibility to make sure their child is safe. By reading your “private” texts, parents will know who your “friends” are, and how they treat you. Cyber bullying is very common in this society. If it happens to you over text conversations, then your parents will be informed as it happens, and they can help you solve your problems. Sara Elliott wrote in her article, “Should Parents Read Their Kid’s Text Messages?” that cyber bullying reports are alarmingly high. Young adults and teens should not go through this, and this protection is the responsibility of the parent.
Not only can reading your child’s texts help them, doing so can also help the ones on the receiving end. Bullying and other problems have to start somewhere. Make sure the cause isn’t your child. Children are a lot less likely to say or do immoral things when they know their parents are watching. By checking and reading their texts, you can be sure your child is not in the wrong. A child could be pressed by others to say mean things, and these can be misunderstood. If this were to happen to your child, you would know, and may be able to get some answers or solutions. The more you can trust your child, you don’t need to read all of the messages. Kids get carried away with new technology – I should know – so make sure they don’t use it in the wrong ways.
Another reason why parents should be allowed to read their child’s texts is a matter of ownership. Most parents buy their child’s phone, so it belongs to them, not the child. They have the right to know what their child is doing on it. They also more than likely pay the monthly phone bills, too. A market research company found that most young adults ages 20-24 in the U.S. still have their parent pay the bills. Only 45% pay their own, compared to the same age group in Russia, with 88% paying their own bills. The child owes them more than he or she may realize. So what’s the problem with them staying up-to-date on your social life? Parents need to know how their money is being spent on this borrowed property.
I understand that many adolescents are unhappy with parents doing this because they are intruding on their private life. However, they should think of how many other ways there are to get privacy. Also, their parents are only trying to protect them and help them for later in their lives. I don’t even have a phone, but I am trying to strike a deal with my parents. I buy the phone, and they pay for a text only service, and they get to read all of my text messages. The next time you complain about a “violation of privacy,” think of someone who has it worse.Posted by: AnonymousTrust is important in the relationship.
I'm a teenager and I think it is important for the children to be able to trust their parents and their parents to trust them. It is a good thing for the parents to check the child's messages because bullying can make the teen feel like they it's not worth living, and most teenagers who are being cyber bullied are too scared to tell anyone. If the parent checks the child's messages they will trust them more when it comes to letting them go out late at night, giving them gadgets, letting them visit friends houses. If the child has nothing to hide online then the parents seeing their messages cannot do any damage. It will create trust between the parent and the child. Another thing is, if the child can't be trusted to be sensible on their mobile, they won't learn to be sensible when they leave home, and they will make many more mistakes. The need to learn to be safe online when they are young, and this will teach them to be careful. The parents can't relax if their children won't let them see their texts. It isn't an invasion of privacy because parents are responsible for their children and it is their business what the children get up to on their phone. It isn't fair on the parents if they can't know more about their children's lives. It will make a better relationship between them.
Posted by: AnonymousIs this a serious question?
It is absolutely preposterous to even ask a question like this. If you are an underage individual who is dependent upon the food, water, plumbing, housing, clothing, and meaningless luxuries that I provide to you (cellphones), and also in my care, whether it be as a foster child or my own blood, you will do as you are told, when you are told to do it. When you have become a legal adult, you may do as you please, assuming, however, that you are not still dependent upon the formerly stated items, which I break my back to provide for you.
It seems that there is a gratuitous amount of confusion in the youth of modern society, so read carefully, babies. You are NOT adults. You are NOT entitled to the benefits of being a legal adult, despite your misplaced arrogance that has led you to believe you can "take care of yourselves." You have been entrusted to the care of your parents, or foster parents, and it is their duty to love, provide for, and oversee your daily activities and habits to ensure that you are not straying from a mentally sound path of judgment, and that includes having and exercising the God-given right to view the contents of your text message mailboxes (which I'd like to add, incidentally, we did not even have as children, so quit whining). They are doing their proper duty as parental units.
The question you need to ask yourselves is would you rather your parents love you and be concerned for your welfare, or not care about you, at all? Food for thought, boys and girls.Posted by: AnonymousYES THEY SHOULD!
I have a 13 year old son, for the most part he is very trustworthy but it can change on a dime! With everything kids today are exposed to, they are already growing up way too fast, why help speed up the process and let them have all this freedom and privacy? I also have a 10 year son, and his Brother hooked him up with an Instagram account, before we knew it he had "Hot Asian Women" following him on Instagram! We deleted the account but that is a perfect example if you are not involved,our YOUNG kids get involved in things they are not prepared to understand. We wouldn't be doing our job as parents if we didn't keep our kids "safe" in ALL aspects of their lives, which is monitoring who they are talking to and what they are talking about. I have the password to my sons phone, Ipod touch, FB, and email, all of which I check often. I also bought all those devices and pay his phone bill, so until he is out on his own and paying his own bills he will be monitored in our home and under my watch.
Posted by: AnonymousKeeping them safe is top priority
Being a parent you have many roles. It is our job to make sure our children are safe to try to help them gain a future that won't hinder but encourage short term and long term goals. I had a friend's mom who never asked where she got her new clothes (they were stolen), who never went through her purse where there always was a bottle of liquor, and whose makeup bag had ecstasy. We buried my friend by the time she turned 21, 5 weeks after she started AA. She was a beautiful woman who had her who life ahead of her. I love my children and they know it and they know as long as I pay their bills their stuff is subject to searches. Not because I am a tyrant but because I love them and want to make sure they are OK. They will be on their own one day and I hope they are prepared for whatever life throws at them. We have pretty open communication. They know there is nothing that will make me not love them.
Posted by: AnonymousEntitlement at its worst...
After reading a majority of the "No" arguments, it's easy to see that children clearly fail to understand roles, responsibility, respect, and ownership. The roles of parents are to love, shelter, provide (health/nourishment/shelter/education/clothing), nurture, and protect. The role of a child is to obey, respect, observe, and learn through observation and understanding. In most cases, your responsible parent is the starting template through which you learn the ways of life. Pay attention!
Parental responsibility is nearly endless when a child is a factor. Until a child is no longer a dependent, parents have all rights governing that child's safety and well being. Unfortunately for the misinformed child, this does include monitoring all actions/activities a child under parental care commits either socially or electronically.
Respect, unlike love, is indeed earned and should be taught by all parents as a core value. Through trust you gain respect. Children are generally given respect and trust automatically by their parents. Though, in varying degrees which either increased or decreased, as the child grows, based on demonstration of the core values. There should be no secrets in trust. If you want your parents to respect your privacy, then demonstrate that you can be trusted.
This brings me to ownership and the false notion of entitlement that has somehow seeped it's way into the American conscious. You only "own" what you've purchase and can readily maintain and protect. Ownership is fleeting! You will grow to understand that we are essentially perpetual borrowers. If your parents gifted/rewarded you with one or more of the many and various technologies for communication and entertainment, refrain from confusing that with ownership. You are free to use them as along as the core values are properly demonstrated and you continue to abide by your parents guidelines and rules! In no way should you mistake gifts and rewards as an entitlement of life. Your parents are still the owners of such gifts and have the right to take them back should the need arise. Holidays and birthdays do not guarantee a reward of some sort. Life is more easily navigated without the notion of entitlement.Posted by: AnonymousThey pay for it.
There was an argument on the "No" side that said "They have no right to go through our things." This would be true if it were in fact "your things". Teenagers are most likely on the same phone plan as their parents, which typically means that the parents are footing the bill. This makes it the parent's property.
Children are only that - children. The parents should be allowed to glance through their child's text messages, but just because they have the option doesn't mean they will. If they trust their child, then they will have no need of it. However, if the child is going through some tough times, the parents will be able to pick up on that through their text messages.
The other side is, if children know that their parents are reading their text messages, then they are less likely to do anything through text messaging that they wouldn't want their parents to do. My little sister is considered a teen, and I know that if my mom could read her text messages, there would be so much less strife in the household. As far as my family knows, her texts are harmless to her friends and boyfriend. However, that could just be the surface. For all we know, she could be considering suicide or sexting.
Another point is to know whether or not she is worthy of the trust my mom affords her. I know that when I was her age, I didn't work a phone nearly so well as she does. My first phone was in middle school and I shared it with my twin sister - there was no text messaging or internet or anything on it because it was 2003. My little sister, on the other hand, has been texting since she was in elementary school.
Which reminds me of another point I would like to make. The thing about my sister that may or may not be true of the rest of teenagers is that my sister sleeps with her phone next to her all night so that in case she gets a phone call or a text from her boyfriend or friends, its right there. If my mom could read her text messages and could see the time stamps, she would be able to tell whether or not my sister is up late on the phone or texting, which has occurred. Once my little sister can start paying for her phone - which won't be long now - THEN she can have privacy because she has paid for it.Posted by: AnonymousWho pays for the phone?
Who pays for the phone? Who pays for the seconds they are texting? Most kids say harmless things on a text, like chat about nothing. Parents do have the right to know what the issues are of their kids, as well as who they are texting too. This whole thing on the Internet, texting, secrecy developed by the creators of software, is causing new rules for everyone. What is all the secrecy about? If parents do not communicate effectively and constantly with their children, knowing what is going on with their children in the education environment, as well as anywhere the kid goes without the parents, then our society has failed as far as being able to control the things that do go very wrong in our children's future.
Those crazy stories about kids doing ignorant things on computers, as well as writing, sending bad photos or messages, are bad examples of teens, or any kid, not being monitored nor parents involved with a child in any aspects of the growing years!Posted by: AnonymousYes they should!
Teenagers are still the responsibility of their parents until they leave the house. Most parents also pay for the cell phones. I need to know what my daughter is doing in order to help protect her, if I don't know then I can't help and unfortunately teens are not always truthful or forthcoming.
Posted by: AnonymousIt helps to protect and keep the teen from bad decisions.
Before I begin, let me explain that I am a teenager. When I text my friends, sometimes the language I use isn't what I would be proud of speaking in front of my parents. Sometimes there are jokes I wouldn't repeat as well. If I can't say these things in front of my parents, why should they have to be said at all? If my parents are allowed to view my text messages, I would clean up my act and do what my parents would like, which is also what is deemed correct and acceptable by society.
Posted by: AnonymousAllowed, Yes, Abused, No
Of course parent's should be allowed to read their children's text messages; it is the parents' responsibility to look out for their children's best interest. I'm not saying that parents SHOULD read their kid's texts, but that they should be allowed to if they feel it is necessary. Every parent/child relationship is different, and parents are generally the better equipped of the two to determine appropriate use of cell phones and other electronic media.
Posted by: MrJoshParents have a responsibility towards a child's well being.
In most cases it is in fact the parent who pays for the the phone and the text messages. In a way the child is just borrowing said phone from parents. Parents are responsible for their child's safety. Monitoring their social lives is an important part of this. Prior to mobile phones it was easier for parents to ensure children were safe. If someone wanted to call their child they would call the family phone first and ask to speak to the child. Parents could monitor their child's safety.
Posted by: AnonymousThey (the parents) bought it.
Parents should have the right, so if there children say "no" well then it is not the children's phone. It is the adult's. The adults bought the phone and they pay for the data plan so the phone is their parents'. Therefore the phone is the parent's and they have the right to see the messages.
Posted by: AnonymousThey break family boundaries
You are almost like trashing all your trust for your parents. All your parents are really just worried about you! If you don't like your mom checking your phone... But what I'm asking is why are you hiding something? You wouldn't not let your parents check your phone if you were not checking something.
Posted by: AnonymousParents are Supposed to Have Total Access.
Parents have the right to check text messages or look through your phone. My parents did it. It prevented a lot of bad things. If I posted something inappropriate on Facebook and my mom saw it she probably would get mad. Thank god they looked through my phone. Technology is everything today and almost everyone has it. Anyone can see your posts and assume things about you.
Posted by: AnonymousTeen's Secret Life
As I have recently discovered, my niece has a secret life on Twitter. I can imagine what her text messages are like. Her dad has contacted the cell phone provider and they say that parents don't have access to their teens text messages. If the child is a minor parents should have access to all of their social media and other ways they can trip themselves up. By having access, a rape or pregnancy or both could possibly be prevented.
Posted by: debeidsonNo matter what you say, the child is a minor.
Legally, parents have the right to monitor their child's communications simply because they are legally responsible for the child's actions also. The trust element also comes into play when both the teen and the parent know they can trust each other that their home is a place free of harmful communication. To do that, the parent has to actively monitor the media that the teen uses and engage in censorship, no matter how awful the word seems. It is simply the act of a responsible society that harmful communication is not displayed to children and that children do their part in respecting the laws of society.
Posted by: AnonymousYes
If the "child" or "minor" doesn't want their parents to read their text messages, maybe they shouldn't have the phone. My son recently decided sexting (or "joking" about sexting) was no big deal. Guess what? His phone is now in my possession. As a minor, I would be me that gets in trouble for his lack of common sense. Parents are responsible so they need to monitor their child's activity.
Posted by: AnonymousAs a mom, I have access to all that my teen does, texting included.
Parents have to be involved in the life of their child(ren). In this day and time, the access that kids have to modes of communication is unreal: text, IM, email, social networking, etc. As a parent, it is my responsibility to keep up with what my child(ren) are getting into. It is called supervision, and it is necessary for a child to be successful in life.
Posted by: WindyTrevor49Absolutely Yes They Should
If I had not been so trusting of my daughters when I first bought their phones for them, I would not be having the problems that I have now. I thought that they were sweet church girls until I started going through their texts (after being given reason to do so). I am still recovering from what I read. I trusted them, and look where it got me.
Posted by: AnonymousGetting caught with bad texts!!
If you are caught with inappropriate text messages, the consequences are unbearable. With parents reading your text messages they can put an end to whatever you are doing with about two times less the punishment. I just read an article about two kids committing suicide because of sexting. One girl was Jessica Logan and the other was Hope Whitsell. Both sending nude pictures to their boyfriends which then sent them to everyone, which ultimately led to the DEATHS of both of them Texas' books " carries the potential of decades of prison time if caught with inappropriate pictures. Now I'm just a guy that everyone thinks is stupid because of what I say, but hey I don't care. I'm just trying to help
Posted by: AnonymousAbsolutely
I have thwarted several "problems" by knowing what was really going on. Sure it would be wonderful to trust my daughter. But believing everything she say, is simply naive. I have prevented her from attending parties where she said the parents would be home, and alas, they were not. There were all kinds of people there that no one knew, who were of legal age to drink. Am I sorry that I feel the need to do this? Not at all. I feel that it is my responsibility as a good parent. I know my parents used to listen in on my phone calls occasionally, and though I resented it then, I understand it now.
Posted by: AnonymousParents have the right.
My parents can and will read my messages anytime they want. I'm a teen and feel they have every right if I give them a reason not to trust me. I have a very open relationship with my parents but they understand that making mistakes is a part of growing up. My dad checks my texts and has never said anything about what I talk about. Its probably because I talk about normal teen stuff like drama and boys, school and work. Its not a big deal to me if I'm doing something really bad I will probably tell on myself. Trust is earned not given out for free.
Posted by: AnonymousYup, of course we do.
Do you want your kids making bad choices? If you do then don't worry about what they are doing. If you want to parent your kids to make smart choices sometimes you need to know what choices are in front of them.
Be smart know your kids! Don't use the information to smother them, just use it to steer them in the right direction.Posted by: Anonymous
I think not.
I chose "NO" because I believe that your typical suburban soccer moms have a powertrip, meaning they have a need to check on everything their kid does. Locked doors are not allowed in their house, and they go through the kid's things and consider 5 and 17 to be the same; "minor". But if the kid is under 15, and for some weird reason has a phone in the first place, then that's very different. I encourage being up their ass about their text messages, both to make sure they aren't meeting any creeps, and to make sure they aren't starting any bad habits; like chatspeak.
Posted by: AnonymousIt is a breach of my privacy.
If my parents truly want to see my texts or calls, they can get a court order, or, do a novel idea for parents: they can ASK. I don't want them snooping around in my texts, simply because I feel like they're smothering me, along with invading my privacy. It shouldn't be allowed because your texts are YOUR texts. If you want to see them, her a subpoena.
Posted by: AnonymousPrivacy??
I share an iCloud account with my parents so I can't keep them off. Every text I send/ receive goes through my dad's phone. It is so annoying. I don't send anything bad but I have never done anything wrong to lose that privilege. Innocent until proven guilty. Seriously, do parents have to be that protective. I don't understand.
Posted by: AnonymousSpying on a teenager is not the way to build a strong relationship.
People say personal things to you and you respond to them, and those personal messages are not for everyone to see. There needs to be trust in a family and going through other people's stuff isn't going to help build trust. Instead, parents should make it normal to have a simple conversation with their teens about their daily lives. Parents need to explain what is right and wrong. They need to explain the consequences of doing the wrong thing. When you go through private messages, it makes teens mad and leads to rebellion. Instead of stopping the problem by talking about it, they'll probably start hiding more information.
Posted by: sopdxdogDefinitely not.
I'm 18 and my parents pay my phone bill. My mom has read my text messages without my consent when she "didn't trust me" and she thought it was her right. Legally anyone besides the owner of mail can be persecuted for reading another's mail. Texts are mail, therefore it is illegal.
Posted by: AnonymousNo, they have no right!
I don't think parents should go through our things. We'll get all paranoid on what we can text and what we can't. Also, how would they like it if we went through their texts and their calls and whatever they do? We should have privacy and trust. If there's no trust then kids start rebelling because they feel it's the only way to get back at their parents, so instead of keeping them safe, they're actually putting their kids in more danger. I know I'm a 13-year-old girl and when my parents go through my stuff I go through theirs.
Posted by: AnonymousNo matter what you say the child is NOT a minor
Dont you ever, ever, ever call a child a minor. Havent you heard of maturity? Well its not mature to call a child a minor. Now unless you have facts to prove that statement then you have no right to call a child that. Children and teens need their own S P A C E! We all have our own buble and so do they. Dont be selfish and let that child be! If there was something wrong with the child you could tell. So theres no need for being a snoop.
Posted by: AnonymousI don't think it's right, I need my privacy.
I don't think it's right. I need my privacy, I'm about to turn 15 and my mom STILL looks through my phone. Of course, my mom is one of those super overprotective moms and she barely lets me leave the house. I didn't do anything though, shes just one of those parents. Anyway, I think it's a major invasion of privacy. Like, she HATES when I go through her stuff, so she knows how I feel. Yes, I have a boyfriend but we never talk inappropriately and I hate that she has control over me and looks through our conversations. I might tell my friends something that I don't really want to talk to her about and she still reads it. I don't like the idea AT ALL if you ask me. I think she needs to give me space because her having control over me makes me really not like her at all.
Posted by: AnonymousNo we dont
We don't need to invade our children's privacy. They should be grown and responsible enough to have their own privacy. If we were in their shoes we wouldn't want our parents to read our messages now would we? If my children were in trouble they would tell me, if not i would know. We should be smart enough and let our kids have some secure. And if they are talking to someone whom they like, so be it! Its a major teenage thing for them to have a private bubble. They might think we don't trust them. We need to. They might end up not being comfortable knowing we read every little word they type. We must not be selfish, rude, and overprotective of our children. Thanks for taking the time for reading.
Posted by: AnonymousLoss Of Trust
No, I don't think they should because the teen wouldn't be able to trust their parent anymore. If you caught your parent snooping around on your phone or your online profiles how would you feel? Wouldn't you feel all the trust for the parent slowly slipping away as you loose your relationship? I beleive that it would cause stress and hatred between the family members. A FAMILY WITH NO LOVE IS NO FAMILY AT ALL!
Posted by: AnonymousPrivacy is Required
Because teens require their own space and need some time on their own. They need to build their own lives. It's nobody's business to check their stuff and things, especially their text messages. Reading someone's text messages are rude and mean. It's like trying to invade their life. Plus teens share and talk about stuff they don't wanna share with their parents. I think parents should not be allowed to read teens text messages.
Posted by: AnonymousNerve to Scold
My mom read my journal, yet had the nerve to scold me for what I write in it. I don't support parents reading their child's journal/diary for whatever reason, and I rather try have a nice talk rather than scolding them. A diary is to keep your feelings and opinions in, an I say we all have the right to feel whatever we want to feel
Posted by: AnonymousNOT AT ALL
Children are individual personalities, and parents have NO RIGHT to invade their children's privacy in this way. If you go through your childrens phones they will resent you and eventually even start to hate you. You will push them further and further away, if you want to know what is going on in your childs life, then you should talk to them face to face and build a healthy relationship, rather than snooping and invading their privacy by going through their phones. This will only cause more damage than good, and cause your children to push you further and further and test your limits. If you show your child that your trust them, then they are more likely to want to show you that you were right too, and they will respect you more. Most teenagers spend a majority of their time on phones these days keeping in touch with friends etc and this is not a reason to be concerned.
Posted by: AnonymousIt's Personal stuff.
I strongly believe that parents shouldn't read their child's text messages. Its private and it's not like your child is going through your personal stuff. Learn to trust them without having to read and go search through their stuff. Believe it or not it is unfair and disrespectful. When my parents used to go through my stuff it made me lose all respect I had for them.
Posted by: AnonymousNo, we deserve justice.
Parents can't tell me what to do, neither can teachers. Parents have no right to get in our business. What I do so my parents can't read my texts, I put passwords and erase them. My dad owns my phone and he can't touch it. Yeah, I just said that people.
Posted by: AnonymousWay too Easy to Misunderstand
I told my friend a secret/inside jokes that may seem dirty but in all honest are not. And my mom got my phone and started yelling not giving me a chance to explain. Its way too easy to misunderstand, especially with teens, what the texts actually mean. I think it's best to stay away from the phone.
Posted by: AnonymousNo matter what the child has the right of his/her to privacy.
if u are going to go on give all kinds of nonsence and stupid points please don't.you are saying things like.....child is a minor,reduce peer pressure,parents need to know what the kids are doing,keep the teens from bad convo,supervision or even a idiot saying he/she turned out to be perfect is all total crap.look i am a teen and i am just 16.i would say that i can't take it if one knows about my privacy,and that includes my parents.well the fact that doubt over trust is so there!anyone of you who are against that fact i would just say you are just puting on a mask to be and idiot.it is very simple if the parents trust their child why in the first place they must check the phone????if the parents can build a good relationship with the child then there is no need for this.teens who are doing sumthing wrong knows if he/she has to delete the sms sent or recieved.so thus there is no need at all for this action by parents cause they cannot find anything wrong from the teens who are up to sumthing wrong.get it simply just shut up and think of your teen life before u say yes,and those who you that who said sumthing about the short form look that is only the 2% out of 100.so think annalize before you say sumthing.
Posted by: AnonymousNo - it has ruined my life
My parents always seem to read my messages and I cannot delete them because they check online to make sure none are being deleted! They question me on texts from certain people like a boy who I like and who likes me. My dad has the nerve to ask me why he says "I love you" because when he was 14 he never said that to a girl! I don't like my parents reading my messages. I never talk to them which makes them upset but they already know about what's going on with me by invading my privacy. I think parents should be involved but they don't need to be in my PRIVATE business. Since theyve been reading them and getting on me about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I've become depressed and lots of other "bad" stuff.
Posted by: AnonymousYour pushing your kid away!
Looking through you child's phone is invading their privacy. There is no need for it. If you were concerned or worried about your child, then sit down and talk to them. If he and/or she doesnt want to talk. Then tell the school counselor to talk to them. It isnt hard. Your just looking through the phone for your own personal pleasure. Even though you day you looking after them. This will make your child sneaky and once that child is out of your house and out of your watch, your gonna see that there going to go out of control because of all the years that they were trapped in a strict parents home. And you might say that it is your money, your house, your phone,etc but in the end if the day you know that you are gonna lose your child. And make them into a more wild person in the futrue. Your makig a mistake.
Posted by: AnonymousPrivacy and trust.
My dad always drops hints to me and even tells me he reads my messages and it is just creeping me out. I have nothing to hide at all but, why would you give me the phone in the first place if you didn't trust me?! I think my dad reads them for fun to be honest. It's not like I am cussing and talking to my friend about sneaking out and smoking or anything like that. It just makes me feel like I have a stalker! If he has any concerns about my texting life, he should just ask. It has really been making me feel extremely uncomfortable! Bottom line is, I think if you give your kid a phone in the first place, you should already trust them enough. Just ask your kids. It really bugs me because I never know when it what he reads! JUST ASK YOUR KIDS IF YOU DON'T TRUST THEM ENOUGH...
Posted by: AnonymousParents should not read texts because it is an invasion of privacy.
Who knows? Maybe my friend is telling me something really personal and they only want me to read it, and then she comes along and reads it and tells the whole world. That will upset me and my friend. Then what if I have something personal and she reads it? That will make me super mad!
Posted by: AnonymousIt does make the teen feel untrusted and may make them feel uncomfortable with their phone.
I personally don't think it is fair because even though adults still have control of their teens, doesn't mean they should be able to get into their privacy. The parent could at least check their phone randomly so if the child was doing something bad, the parent could catch them. Either way, being able to check everything the child is saying is unfair. We are all people and even though teens are younger doesn't mean that parents are better because there are a whole lot of teens are a lot more responsible and smarter than most adults.
Posted by: AnonymousOF COURSE NOT
I dont not think my parents should go through my phone because they would accuse me of things, start yelling and then i would get my phone taken away. Like if you trust me to have a phone why would you go through it? If i give your privacy in the house, why cant you give me mine. I think im old enough to take care of my self.
Posted by: AnonymousAbsolutely not!
A child should not feel uncomfortable in their own home! They should also feel like they have that freedom because when they get older they will have to do a lot on their own! Parents need to trust their children more! A parent should let their child tell them if something is making them upset instead of the parent reading through texts to find out! It is their right of privacy and parents should be able to tell if something is going on instead of reading their texts!
Posted by: AnonymousI say it depends, but usually no
I see why a lot of people would say yes; we are "minors" and we do not pay for the phone bill. I understand that 100%. But in all honesty, if I could have a job that pays enough to pay for a cell phone bill, I would get one. But I am too young. I know most teens would not want a job if they could get one, but I do. That's why I don't understand how you can say "when you grow up and pay your own bills" because even if we wanted to, we literally cant.
But on the other hand, I see where you might want to read them. I personally think the only reason my parents should be allowed to look through my texts is if something extreme is going on and my messages might have something to do with it. If I was telling my friends things, or vice versa, that had to do with my safety or health, I could see why they would want to see them. But if its just them wanting to check up because they're "the parent", I think that's ridiculous. I didn't ask to be the child, and I honestly can't stand when they use that against me. I think that is just an invasion of privacy.Posted by: AnonymousMaybe within reason...
Granted, there are situations where reading messages will keep the child out of trouble. But they are people too. People now are getting offended when the government reads their emails and phone records, but then they turn around and do it to their kids. That is a whole lot of double standards if you ask me...
Posted by: AnonymousThe child will rebel
I'm 15 years old, my parents had been hacking my Facebook account 2-3 times a week without telling me, they read all my messages and it was not okay! I understand I am mature enough to know my parents love me, they want the best for me, a bright future, however I need space to build my personality and to find who I am, I'll learn by doing rather than my parents lecturing me. It makes me lose trust in them. I spent years showing my parents I'm mature, bubbly and hardworking daughter who is perfect. But I can't be like that 24/7 I also have a life out of home where I can be myself. I socialize a lot now that it's summer but during exam time I stopped all of that. I studied. I did my best to make my parents proud. But when they go checking my texts and inbox without telling me. Its frustrating, it makes me not try to please them anymore.
Posted by: AnonymousParents need to leave their kids alone.
Parents should leave their kid alone when kid go on their phone and don't tell their parents about what they said or text its because they don't want you to know or you don't need to know just like kids don't spy on you and trust and know we know how you should leave us because you were also kids once think about the time you were a kid and relate.
Posted by: djhunterI don't believe so.
I'm 18, even though I'm considered an adult, I don't believe that parents should be snooping into the lives of the child.
I do understand that children need to have someone to watch out for them, but reading a text message is going too far and breaking the privacy law. Even if the child is just a minor, that does not mean that the parent should be in the life of the child.
There are times when it should be alright, but when it comes to a cell phone, it was given to the child for a reason wasn't it? Then you should keep your trust and avoid trying to break the trust between the parent and child. It is understandable to want to keep the child out of all trouble, but does the risk of losing the trust of your child worth it? I don't believe so, but that is just my opinion.Posted by: AnonymousThis is ridiculous.
Parents seem to forget that they too were once young and naive, and in life you should let them learn on their own, have a solid fundamental on life in their own way, so they can be resilient adults one day. Educate them when they were young with the best education, morals and values. Occasionally protect and guide them into their early adulthood, advise them, but that's it. They have to figure the rest of the puzzle by themselves or they would have to be spoon fed all throughout their lives. In my opinion, the more you interfere, the more it's interfered.
Posted by: Anonymouswhy should they?
Having your parents reading your texts, is like saying they dont trust you. Being a parent, you need to trust in your kids to be doing the right thing. If they want to talk to you about what they are doing, that is completely fine. But checking their texts so you can know what your children is doing, is completely wrong. And to all the people that say " Well its my house, Im the one paying the bill!" If its really that big of a deal, why did you buy your child a phone in the first place. If you can't trust your child enough to give them privacy, then don't get them a phone! Kids need to feel as if they can trust their parents, and if you go snooping through their texts when they are young, then they will want to tell you even less when they are older, and won't want to spend time with you, and will trust you less. Think about it. You were all kids at one point, and im sure you wanted privacy. So why are you not giving your kids privacy! The kid needs to feel a bond of trust between you and him/her, and if you arent making them feel like they can trust you, they won't want to tell you anything
Posted by: AnonymousTeens need privacy!
I'm 13; my dad reads my texts. I feel like I can't talk seriously with my bff like when she is really upset. I have to talk to her at school the next day and it's rubbish! I can't talk about boys or plans without dad questioning! What if I land on my period and want to tell my friend in private so not at school, I should be able to text her but then my dad would know. It's like listening into someone's private conversation...Wrong.
Posted by: AnonymousOnce they turn 16
There is a certain amount of privacy a teen should be allowed. When they become 16 and older I believe that their phone is their business. I checked my daughters phone randomly until she turned 16. Then I gave her the benefit of the doubt and am giving her more privacy. I only think that as a parent you should check a child's phone if it is considered life threatening to the child or someone else.
Posted by: AnonymousI'm scared to text anyone
I have been deleting text even though I've done nothing wrong, they just take my phone and go on it. My parents see everything I do on the internet and that is why I quit social networking sites. I once jokingly said "you're gay" to a friend and I got grounded for a week. I'm paranoid about what my parents do on my phone. I'm probably known as the boring person in my group of friends because all I am able to write without getting in trouble is "hey" "what's up" "nmu" "how's life" and etc.
Posted by: AnonymousNo need to be nosy if it is safe.
If they know the person their child is talking to (say age appropriate and a well known friend) then the personal messages between the two people should be kept that way. They don't need to be included in the conversation. Some things parents don't need to know, example: " I think Tyler is soooo cute". What purpose does a parent have to know that? They don't need to know everything.
Posted by: AnonymousLoss of Repect
I am 15 years old and my mother has no respect for any of my siblings privacy. I think she has more trust in me, which is why she does not go through my stuff. However, when I was younger, I caught her reading my diary. I wrote so many personal things in my diary, in extreme detail. For example, I had written on how I was jealous of my brother, my insecurities, my thoughts on success, etc. Upon seeing her reading all my intimate emotions, I felt that I needed to keep my guard up, that no one is to be trusted. I think she detected my feelings, and for the next few years, she worked at making me believe that we were "best friends." Sad thing was, I should have realized that she was completely selfish in hacking my brother's Facebook account and reading his text messages. True, he could be in danger, but, heck, we could all be in danger. She started to tell me who he had a crush on, the girls he talked to, the subject of discussion...It was all so wrong. Don't we have a right to grow up? If she truly loved us, wouldn't she trust us? My brother finally called her out on that, and she became a monster. She responded by saying that she has SUPREME power over us. There are NO BOUNDARIES when it comes to a mother and her child. Well, I disagree. Perhaps my stance is too biased, but just today, she confiscated my sister's iPod and laptop, my brother's cellphone and iPod, as well as my cellphone. She wants to know exactly who we talk to and what we talk about. I have lost any speck of trust I ever had for her. I told her so and she told me she doesn't care. Well, she obviously doesn't. More than anything, this entire experience makes me want to rebel. If she has the liberty of knowing everything we have ever done and said, why don't have the same liberty? Because what she did or does is her business not mine. I don't snoop through her stuff or question what happens between my dad and her. I don't bring up topics that she doesn't want to talk about. I am a good student- I don't do drugs, my friends are all smart and responsible, I don't party, I am ALWAYS doing what she wants me to do. BEING OVERPROTECTIVE IS BEING SELFISH.
Posted by: AnonymousHuman Rights: Privacy
Teenagers may be younger than adults, yet they are still humans right? It seems that the human rights apply to everyone over 18, but adults never think that teens are actually humans that want privacy also. Unless the teen is suspected to be doing something inappropriate, their privacy should be respected.
Posted by: AnonymousSome conversations are personal and privacy is necessary
Respect your kids and they respect you. If you dont establish trust in your relationship with your teen they tend to be more likely to act out because they already feel like they have nothing to lose. Kids whose parents keep a looser grip on them usually try their best NOT to disappoint there parents and break that trust. Also sometimes teens need to talk to their friends about things they cannot or do not feel comfortable talking to their parents about. I have some friends with some real issues regarding depression or harm etc. There are times when a private conversation can save a life also if your teen is struggling he or she may not feel comfortable reaching out to his or her friends because they know their texts are being monitored. Honestly sometimes as teens we WILL NOT always come to our parents first. I struggled with self harm and my relationship with my parents at the time was not the best and i would have rather talk to no one instead of my parents at the time. My phone gave me access to friends i could call if i was struggling. Another thing with snooping parents. Remember this, the strict parents make sneaky children. We are smart and we know technology. You monitor our texts? We will figure out a way around it.Weather its talking on a texting app or deleting certian messages or faking other conversations. My personal advice: ONLY check texts if you have a real reason to be concerned for your child or their behavior. If you snoop regularly those texts and conversations will be gone if there comes a time where it is absolutely necessary, the proof will all still be there.
Posted by: AnonymousNo.
It is a serious invasion of privacy and a voilation of trust. Yes, teens could be doing bad things through texting, but to look through the messages would be very bad! It is basically like the parents screaming at the child, 'we don't trust you, you cant be trusted to do the right thing. We want to know everything you and your friends/(boy/girl)friend talk about!' it is just wrong.
Posted by: AnonymousWould they like it if we did it to them?
If parents could just check your phone, there would be no point in texting. We might as well shout out what we would text to our friends. The point is that they (parents) should respect our privacy. It would be a different story the parents feel that you have been involving yourself in a dangerous or illegal activities though.
Posted by: AnonymousWould they like it if we did it to them?
If parents could just check your phone, there would be no point in texting. We might as well shout out what we would text to our friends. The point is that they (parents) should respect our privacy. It would be a different story the parents feel that you have been involving yourself in a dangerous or illegal activities though.
Posted by: AnonymousInvasion of Privacy
No one should be allowed to view your messages without owner's consent, even your parents. If they pay the bills for the phone it is still your device and YOUR messages and under the law you can't view the messages without the owner's consent. Just the law, doesn't matter age, who pays, or who gave you the phone.
Posted by: AnonymousIt invades privacy and prevents us from learning from mistakes.
I think not! It's annoying as heck and parents need to learn how to mind their own business , instead of checking their kids messages. They need to live their own lives and stop all the dumb snooping. If they want to know something they can ask like any other regular person. If the question is invading their privacy they shouldn't have to answer. Many parents check their phone because they want to provide safety for their child but they should just give them a warning and let their children have full responsibility of how they want to live their life because its not theirs. Parents should let their child make their own decisions and they should let them be able to learn from their mistakes.
Posted by: AnonymousIt's completely disrespectful, intrusive, and rude.
A teenager's conversations that they have with a friend is a private thing. They can be themselves. It could make your child uncomfortable knowing that you see how they socialize with their peers or even flirt with a certain girl or boy that they like. Not only is it invading their privacy, it's invading the privacy of the person they are texting. What if your child's friend told them a secret they didn't want anyone else to know? How would that make you feel if you knew one of your friend's parents knew a secret about you? You should let your child come to you with any problems they have in their life instead of prying through their texts. If they wanted you to know, they would tell you. Not only does it show the lack of trust you have in them, it makes it impossible for them to trust you. No matter what their age is, they still have a right to privacy. Your child will become uncomfortable in their own home...the place where they should feel at ease. It creates a lot of stress, knowing that you have to watch what you say to your friends for fear that your parents might see. Not to mention, once your child has found out that you have read through their texts, they will either stop texting, make phone calls instead, use code words, or delete the text right after it is sent/received. Your child will distance you more and more. Who wants to be around a person that can't mind their own business? Also, what kind if example would you be setting for your child? You're making them think its okay to pry through other people's personal business. Doing this will make your child more likely to rebel. Privacy is an important thing in life. Lack of privacy can end up making your child uneasy, uncomfortable, and untrusting. Please respect your child.
Posted by: AnonymousPrivacy, trust, and respect
Most people voting 'yes' say it's the parents property and it's better to keep children out of harm. That is false on a boundary. Yes, you are entitled to search their text messages, but if the child is doing nothing wrong and the parent over-checks, it can become a matter of privacy, trust, and respect.
I agree parents should check, but only if it is not invasive to the child, they don't go through anything extremely personal, and it doesn't happen so often if the child doesn't get into trouble a whole lot.
This brings something else up. IF the child doesn't get into trouble a whole lot, then you don't need to search a lot. But for those of you saying parents can do what they want, that means the child can be highly trusted and respected and the parents could still do it without probable cause. And by probable cause, that's if the child's behavior changes i.e. If the child was social before meeting some "16 year old" over texting, and becomes less social, it is probable to assume the 16 year old is a predator looking for harm.
I saw one post where a parent shut off the phone line of a 30 year old. And I have seen many others who say they've done it to ADULTS above age 18. Your role as a parent is not to protect them by that age, but to give them advice on how to live. And if you let them use your phone service without paying or paying to live in your house and they don't have a job, set a deadline for them to start paying your rent.Posted by: AnonymousYou were all teenagers, right? With privacy limits too, right?
It's like going to the bathroom! We obviously don't need our peeps knowing every single detail of what we do in our lives! Some things are just private and I mean parents hate it when we look through their phone so why do they do it to us? Treat people how you would like to be treated. We get it that they are the ones who pay for the phone and give it to us for emergencies but it also is something just for us and use to communicate with and when communicating, some things just need to be private and we just need a little space and also we really don't like people exploring through our personal lives do we?
Posted by: AnonymousNo, It has been ruining my life and it will ruin others aswell.
I'm 15 years old and my mum has been checking all my messages, internet history and so on for at least a few years now. I get so paranoid when she asks for one of her random checks. I'm always worried she will find something she doesn't like or agree with. See, I'm just your average teenager, I'm experimenting with things, developing relationships with girlfriends, of course watching a little porn just like every other 15 year old. Everyone knows how awkward and generally degrading it can be to talk about these things with your parents, especially if it is an emotional time for you. Because of this I am constantly deleting emails, texts, clearing internet history. I completely agree with all the other responses below me. It really does ruin relationships. And just to note, basically all of the people who think this is a good idea are just nagging mums like mine who have no respect for privacy and don't realise what damage they are actually doing to their children's confidence and trust. Go get your own life.
Posted by: Jimpi27No they shouldn't read teen's text messages.
We understand that parents want to know what's going on in their children's lives and they want to be a big part of it, but children especially teenagers should have the right to text to their friends without having a parent monitor them. Parents are parents not friends, its a different kind of relationship and a teen should be able to have both relationships. All teens make mistakes, they should also be able to learn from them. How else would they become actual adults with actual life experience. Experience doesn't come from one day to the other, and it certainly doesn't come when you turn eighteen and become an adult by law. I understand this is all counter saying my opinion, but what you have to understand is that teenagers have all the right to privacy, maybe independence is not yet a thing that teens should have but privacy is something, everyone should be able to have. Isa and remiss
Posted by: AnonymousParents should not read kids' text messages because kids want privacy.
When you were a kid you didn't want your messages read through. Kids are going to be kids, and they're going to swear. Parents just have to deal with that. If you just let kids be themselves they will act like the sweetest kids at home. However, kids will always swear.
Posted by: AnonymousInvasion of Privacy
Unless the parents have a reason to look through their kid's phone (drinking, drugs, etc.) then they shouldn't. Even if they have nothing to hide it feels like a breach of privacy. My parents did that to me even though I never did anything bad. It showed me that they couldn't even trust me enough to let me have that privacy, so I ended up not trusting them at all either. It destroys the parent-child relationship.
Posted by: AnonymousEver heard of privacy?
Children will learn from this. They will learn to always meddle in someone else's business. Privacy is a crucial thing in life. Do you see children looking through their parents' emails or text messages ? This is AMERICA ! Freedom of speech . Parents are indeed legally responsible for their children, but looking through their text messages is invading someone's privacy.
Posted by: AnonymousNo, it gives your teen reason to think they aren't trusted.
The fact that a parent has to read a child's text messages to know what's going on in their life makes it seem as if a parent is accusing the child of something wrong. My parents are divorced and growing up my mom never tried to read anything of mine. In return I would tell her when something was happening in my life. My father, however, would try to find out by force, which pushed me away from him and made me tell him less. My mother understood that I would tell her something when I was ready to tell her something. My dad and I no longer talk (for reasons more then just this, but the lack of trust was a definite fuel in the fire)
Posted by: AnonymousNo they do not.
Did your parents read your love notes, pre-read your mail or listen in on your conversations with your friends? Did it matter that they may have paid for the paper that you wrote those notes one? That they paid for the house that your friends were visiting? No it didn't. So why should paying for a cell-phone entitle you to read their text messages?
If they misbehave, it's more than fair to take their phone or cut off their ability to text. If you misbehave, you lose a privilege and that's reasonable. But when you read your text messages you are invading a part of their life that you have no right to without permission. If you believe your teen is in trouble then try talking to them. When they don't trust you enough to approach you it's on you to figure out why they don't trust you and to fix it. Further driving them away with invasions of privacy does nothing but push them father away. And how do you expect to raise self-aware, self-sufficient adults if you don't trust them to have their own privacy?Posted by: AnonymousNo
I don't believe you should read your child's text messages unless you have good reason to be suspicious. Reading them without reason can degrade your child. They will feel as though you've lost trust in them, which you theoretically have, even though they haven't done anything wrong. In turn, this will hurt your relationship with them. I couldn't help but read the many posts about children who've completely lost a good relationship with their parents because of the obsessive checking. Not to mention that it's very easy to delete history and texts...
Another thing that I couldn't help but notice was that the sole argument of people who thinks it's okay, is basically, "They have no privacy until they live under their own roof and pay for their own phone service." So now you're making your kid want to leave; you're driving them away. For no reason. You must really love your children.Posted by: AnonymousAbsolute invasion of privacy
Kids should not be raised with those morals, that it's alright to invade others privacy because of concern. It's the Patriot Act all over again. What's next, reading your children's diaries? It's an absolute violation of their private life. Warn them instead about the dangers that can come from smoking, drinking etc., but DO NOT go and snoop around things you have nothing to do with. Or do you want to risk turning the household into a "1984"-esque society?
Posted by: AnonymousNo, teens should have privacy.
Parents should NOT have access to their child's phone BECAUSE its their own personal privacy. Let them have the privacy they need, have trust in their child, and if you raised your child correctly, then you should be able to trust and believe your child. When parents were teenagers, they probably would not like it if their parents looked at their phone or internet.
Posted by: AnonymousYou were all teenagers, right? With privacy limits too, right?
It's like going to the bathroom! We obviously don't need our peeps knowing every single detail of what we do in our lives! Some things are just private and I mean parents hate it when we look through their phone so why do they do it to us? Treat people how you would like to be treated. We get it that they are the ones who pay for the phone and give it to us for emergencies but it also is something just for us and use to communicate with and when communicating, some things just need to be private and we just need a little space and also we really don't like people exploring through our personal lives do we?
Posted by: AnonymousNo.
NO. Let's be honest, when our parents were teenagers, they obviously wouldn't want their parents to snoop around their business, so what gives them the right to do so now? Yes, I understand that they're our parents and that they are supposed to protect us and whatnot, but this is not going to help in the long run. Why does the child have a cell phone in the first place if the parents don't trust them? Unless there is some serious evidence that the child is up to some serious illegal activity, then at that time the parent has the write to read through their child's text messages. Otherwise what's the point? Are they trying to find out more about their child? Why don't they just ask instead of snooping around, invading one's privacy, and making assumptions that are probably not true. Honestly, when I have kids I will not read any of their texts unless I strongly believe that something is going on with their lives that requires me to step in.
Posted by: AnonymousParents should not be allowed to read their teens text messages.
Teens should have a right to their privacy. To me its the equivalent of reading your childs diary. I find it ridiculous that parents should be able to look on your phone and read what youre saying to your friends. Its like eavesdropping on your child while his/her friends are sleeping over. It is a complete and utter invasion of privacy to read what your child is talking about with his/her friends. PREACH
Posted by: AnonymousDont bring themphones if you going to spy at them
Its a rule there must be sth parents don't know about their teens also if you raised your teen very well and you are sure that he is good behaved so why invading their privacy plus each and every one deserve a personal space even teens and if you going to spy there phone then dont give them any one.
Posted by: AnonymousParents are pushing themselves away
I am finding it so funny reading all these parents that are so far up their own arses that they actually BELIEVE that their child is their property. That they actually BELIEVE that while they are living under "their" roof they have the priority to go snooping through their kids business. It is so sad. I grew up having my mum snoop through my numbers on the bill and actually texting people to find out whom I was talking to. Not only that she read through my diary and would try and get other people to tell her what I have been up to when I am out. It is disgusting. Do you know what this led to? violation of trust. I don't trust my mother and now that I am older and can get away from her I do it as much as I can. I only tell her what I want her to know but I don't even tell her half of what is going on in my life because I always felt imprisoned, claustrophobic and the more she was trying to push her way into my life and the more she would try to nose around the more I try to hide from her and keep things from her. Parents should be reasonable and respect their children. You want your children growing up to trust you and feel like that they can turn to you and talk to you as a friend. They need a healthy relationship with you do you really want to see your children disappear for good once they are able to leave? "We are here to raise and protect you from yourselves" what a load of crap, that is controlling. Yes children need their parents, yes they sometimes need your guidance but while they are turning to teenagers and young adults they need to be able to start walking by themselves. Of course they are going to make mistakes but they WILL turn to you when it happens but you need to stop trying to get involved with everything and hold their hands. You don't want your children hurt I can understand that, But you have got to let them make these mistakes so that they can learn from their mistakes and take what they have learnt into the future with them when they leave the nest. It is like a baby if you keep holding them they will never be able to learn to walk you need to let them go so they can make a few bumps so that they learn something important. By the way I do live at home but I pay all my bills, insurance, petrol for my car, tax, mot, rent, pay for my food and everything else. Maybe the kids should go through the parents phone and see if the parents agree with it then.
Posted by: AnonymousNot without good cause!
I believe a parent should only look through teens texts if they believe they are doing something illegal or might be in danger. Otherwise I believe children need privacy to make mistakes and learn, so that they can become a responsible, respected adult. I believe teens also feel closer to their parents when they feel that they trust them. I remember I told my mom everything because I knew that she trusted me. Had she not trusted me....I don't think I would have told her very much.
Posted by: AnonymousEveryone should be entitled to privacy
If they had said something in a phone conversation, I wouldn't be able to check it- the same goes for talking to friends in real life. I don't see why texting should be any different. I understand that what may seem inappropriate to me is considered normal interaction between teens.
Posted by: AnonymousStrict parents create rebellious kids.
Okay so I'm doing a debate on school and thought I would give you a teen's opinion. Well I will just do the counterargument. So, the other side might say that parents pay for the phone, which is true, but just assuming, parents probably gave their teen a phone because they thought they were responsible enough to have it, not just to have a phone. Another point that the other side might say that they want to protect their child. While this might protect them, parents need to give kids space, they are going off to college and parents won't be able to stop anything that may or may not happen. So for the title too, all my friends that have strict parents love to get them worried and to do things that they are not supposed to. They don't have to text about it; teens can find their way around any rule.
Posted by: AnonymousChildren need space too..
Just because they're children, doesn't mean they can't have privacy. You're invading their space, they won't learn themselves. How would you feel if they read your text messages? You'd feel invaded.. As if they were taking part of YOUR own life away. It's not fair. We have things we don't want you to know. Doesn't mean they're bad, just so we can feel like we have something of OUR OWN
Posted by: AnonymousParents should not read their teen text messages!
Teens NEED their privacy! It's not fair when a child can't say something to a friend or friends when they are worried about their parent reading the message. What if one of their friends told the other a secret that no one can know over text and the parent saw it? It would be like hacking into the CSI data base or something and suddenly everyone knows what is in the data base. Parents think about it... would you like your child reading through your messages? It's not fair. Just because they are younger than you physically doesn't mean they are mentally.
Posted by: AnonymousIt will create a massive barrier between you and your kid!
It is a complete intrusion of privacy, my mum has recently done it to me and it has left a dent in out relationship, I have now put a lock on my phone and don't feel I can trust my mum. Nothing can make reading someone elses messages without permission justified! My mum checked my messages because she saw I was messaging a 19 year old guy and I am 14 and she didn't approve and told me to stop messaging him as it was inapropriote, but my mum got the complete wrong idea about it, the guy is like an older brother to me and has given me some good responsible advise like this?ouraging alcohol etc. He was a gap student at my school which is how I met him. I no longer trust my mum like before. So the moral of the story, never read your teenagers messages, trust them to come to you with issues
Posted by: AnonymousInvasion of Privacy.
A parent should be trusting in their child. They should be confident enough in their own parenting to trust that their child is not doing anything wrong. When I was younger I discovered my mother had around thirty pages of my texts in print offs. I was enraged. The relationship with my mother and I has never been the same. Even though I'm moved out my mother and I still do not speak. Ive bought a new phone with my own plan. She hasn't even received my number because of this.
Posted by: AnonymousYou can trust your kid.
Okay, my daughter is 12 and I trust her. Why can't you learn to trust your kid? If your kid wants you to read their messages they will let you. If their phone rings and they're in the bathroom, tell them so-and-so called, and is it okay if I answer it or not? It's a proven fact that parents who read their kids messages make the kids think that they can't trust their parent at all.
Posted by: AnonymousIts an invasion of privacy
Your kids will hate you for it I can promise you that. And not only that but they deserve the right to keep some things to themselves. I mean they are living in your home so technically they have nothing. Teens need their space to grow and learn on their own. If you put so much restraint on them you are stunting them.
Posted by: AnonymousI don't think so.
I believe that parents shouldn't snoop around their teens things because it will cause them to act up and maybe even stop talking to you. If you're concerned that your child is having problems or you think their talking with some stranger. Instead of snooping around in their stuff just ask them. That would bring you guys closer. Just don't look through their things they'll believe you did something wrong or that you don't trust them. Thank you and have nice day!
Posted by: AnonymousJust use trust
Parents and their children need a trust bond. In today's world trust is hard to come by, but in a family this is especially important. Parents need to honor their kids and know that they will at some point fail their expectations but parents must not get involved in their children's personal life. Such as girlfriends, boyfriends, friends etc...
Posted by: AnonymousDon't touch something that's not yours.
Yes they might pay for it, but think of it as a gift. If your child gave you a gift of a teddy bear for example, would you want them to inspect it every last minute? I don't think so! So why should they be able to read every conversation you have?
Posted by: AnonymousShoudnt we have PRIVACY !
if you always go throught your childs stuff then theyll neve wanna tell you anythinq , then their qonna feel like thay have no privacy , then therye qonna shut down because they know that everythinq thang thay do your qonna have somethinqq to say about it plus parents is always saying that kids need to learn from there mistakes, budd how can there learn if youu dont let themm makee any mistakes !
- Just sayingPosted by: AnonymousIt's an invasion of privacy. Is it that hidden?
Screw parents who think they can search whatever they want without a reason. That is a very obvious invasion of privacy. Someone goes through your phone, invasion of privacy on a legal level. Parent goes through your phone, common behavior on a legal level. Yes, children are minors but everyone has a right to a certain level of privacy. I do, my girlfriend does, my sister does, even the hobos have a right to privacy. Hope some people can see how this makes sense. Doubt anyone will though. Especially power-stunt parents who think they can search anything and everything they want. They can burn in hell for how much they invade the privacy of others. This is an opinion, not fact. Please may people understand where I'm coming from. Thanks. :)
Posted by: SpyingEllisMaybe the person you are texting has said something private.
Maybe the kid you were texting said something private. And no one else is supposed to see it. It's illegal to open someone else's mail. We don't do it to you. So don't do it to us. Do you see me checking your texts!? No. Reading someone else's mail is illegal. BECAUSE the person we were texting was texting us and not you because youre not supposed to see it.
Posted by: AnonymousNO definitely not
Everybody needs their own space and how can people have that if their parents are looking at the text messages?! It doesn't help the teens to grow up. How would you like it if people went through your text messages? Nobody should assume that the teen is doing drugs/having sex etc just because they want a bit of privacy. I am a teen myself but doesnt everybody deserve a bit of privacy? Sometimes there are things you wish to talk about to your friends and parents should respect that.
Posted by: AnonymousThis doesn't actually affect me, but...
I'm not actually a teen anymore and my parents never monitored my texts. I understand the argument that their paying for your phone justifies them monitoring what you do with it. However, I disagree with that, feeling that, even though the child is only using the phone, they still have a right to privacy as a human being. However, from what I understand parents are legally responsible for their children's actions. Assuming there is liability for the parent, I am forced to agree that this gives parents a technical legal right, regardless of anything else. Still, it feels wrong, and I believe parents should only read their children's texts when they reasonably and can honestly say they believe something illegal or dangerous is going on.
Finally, except perhaps for the legally insane and maybe those proven (severely) mentally ill, I believe the excuse of needing to protect people from themselves is an absolute bullshit and disgraceful ruse for people and governments (just people really, since governments are composed of people) who crave the satisfaction of dominating others. Generally, people have the right to make their own mistakes, learn from the consequences, and until someone transgresses, they should not be punished.Posted by: AnonymousPrivacy is important.
Teens need their privacy and parents should not invade this unless they suspect their child of being involved in dangerous activities. If that is the case then yes, a look-through may be needed, but as long as there is no suspicious activity, the child's privacy should NOT be invaded under any circumstances.
Posted by: AnonymousFourth Amendment Violation anyone?
Even something as simple as this could be considered a violation of the fourth amendment, which specifies against unreasonable search without a warrant. You want me to divulge what I speak to people in privacy? Obtain a warrant from the sheriff's department. Otherwise, let me check your phone, peer in on your conversation, and interrogate you if I find some kind of wrongdoing or discrepancy. Lots of teens pay for what they have with their own money, and still some parents insist that they own it either way. Whats yours is yours, what's mine is mine, and we can all be friends, otherwise, you have no right to take or even examine what is mine unless given consent.
Posted by: AnjouTrust Should Be 100%
You trusted your child/teen enough to let them get a phone and texting privileges. You should trust them enough to let them have their privacy. If you're not 100% sure you can trust your child with a phone, simply don't get them one and certainly don't buy them phone plans for texting and calling. Trust is trust. Either trust someone wholeheartedly or don't trust them at all.
Posted by: AnonymousJust please don't!
This is an invasion of your child's privacy, and may very well be hurting your relationship with your child, by proving you have no trust in them, and reading everything that they send. It doesn't matter whether or not you are paying, by giving them a phone they need responsibility and unless they are doing something bad, don't interfere.
Posted by: AnonymousNo, it only makes things worse.
My mom reads through my things, all the time. I am 14 yeards of age and I feel this is ridiculous. She doesn't have to trust me, but can at least tell me this. We don't get a long well to beging with, but since she started doing this, things have gotten way worse. She makes persimptions...like since I was texting a friend a lot, she thinks he's my BF. And things she read that she did not agree with, things that were her own personal opinion, she would yell at me about. And it doesn't stop there. Once parents start reading their children's things, they feel they have the right to do more things, to be nosy.
It's a HUGE invasion of our privacy, and doesn't help anyone at all. It's not to protect us, even though you might feel so.
At this point, I hate my mom. I think she's nosy and I feel she does this to make me feel bad. I don't tell her anything. NOTHING. If someone like hit me I'd rather cover it up with make-up than tell her, because I don't trust her with anything.
If you want your child to turn out like this, as well as your relationship with him/her, then go a head. Read their texts.Posted by: AnonymousNo it's just wrong.
Your parents should not just invade your privacy. We should be able to talk to our friends without having to worry about your mom seeing everything. If that happens we will lock our phones and then the parents will get suspicious and pry even more and we will rebel even more. Its madness.
Posted by: AnonymousYour kids need to feel like they control their own lives.
My parents never monitored any of my social exchanges. They never held me back from anything. Wanna know what happened to me? I got good grades. I got a job as soon as I could. I played varsity sports. I chose to hang out with decent people who didn't put me in danger. When the opportunity arose to do something stupid, I thought about the consequences and didn't do it. When I did, I took responsibility for my own actions because I was in control of the situation. I didn't feel controlled and because of that I have a sense of control over my own life. My friends whose parents monitored everything they did, either rebelled against their parents or ended up dropping out of college or taking 10 years to get a 4 year degree because they didn't know how to make their own decisions. The had been controlled all of their lives and then set free at college and became total wrecks. One ended up with a psychological disorder and no, I am not exaggerating. If you raise your kids to make good decisions and trust them, you shouldn't feel like you have to control them. Talk to your children. Make them understand that they must take responsibility if they mess up. Teach them to think about the consequences of their actions before they do anything. What you do to them know will affect their outlook on life forever.
Posted by: AnonymousIt's none of my parents business..
Honestly, what I text to my friends is mostly just chatting, sometimes gossip and sometimes flirting. If what I was texting was that bad that my parents needed to check it, they wouldn't have given me a phone in the first place. I feel like it would be a violation of my privacy if my parents were to read my texts.
Posted by: AnonymousTeens need there privacy
I think that teens need there privacy and I believe that if a parent need to check a teens phone than they definatly didnt do a good job at parenting first of all when your in their teen years you start to have male or female friends and I think that it private what you and your male or female friend is conversating about I remember when my mom thought I was talking to older guys when I clearly wasnt just because I was private, it immbarrising to sit and see your parents read text messages and viewing call records and I feel that when a parent feel the need to do so anyway there I definantly no trust their and I strongly believe that that belittles a teen
Posted by: AnonymousTeens need their privacy as well as they do.
Parents don't like it when we're nosy, so why should they get into our privacy? Just because teens don't like their parents reading the text messages, doesn't mean the teens are hiding something from them. My parents get mad at me if I delete a message and they randomly suppose I have a secret that I don't want them to know. Reading text messages just loosens the trust between teens and their parents.
Posted by: AnonymousDefinitely Not!
It is an absolute invasion of privacy. It is our life to live, and unfortunately for them they have to live with it. Treating teens as babies make us more infuriated with them and leads to a lot of arguments between the parent and child. It is unfair for them to read anything personal of ours, it is rude and it proves how insecure they are towards our generation.
Posted by: AnonymousTeens live in a totally different world than our parents! And the lessons we keep as teens are the ones we learn on our own.
I see that parents are really concerned about what we teens do, but we are growing up, we should learn from our mistakes. It doesn't help to have a parents nose all up in our business, because then we wont be confident enough to make our own decisions on our own with our any parents being nosy! So No parents shouldn't read teens texts we need privacy. We need some space to learn. If there are things you don't want your teen to be doing on their phone, point it out before you give them the phone that way they know what is expected of them.And The know what their consequences are if the disobey you. Think about how you felt when you wee growing up, and try to consider the fact that they are growing up in a totally different world than what u were.To Be honest the lessons we keep as teens, are the ones we learn on our own.
Posted by: AnonymousParents should NOT be allowed to read teens' text messages.
It's like spying on all of their conversations or reading their diary. They should be able to see who teens are texting but not their actual conversations unless they have some reason to distrust them with this. Kids don't spy on parents to make sure they aren't doing anything bad, do they?
Posted by: AnonymousMy mom reads all my Facebook messages
I am nearly 13 and my mom is always on my Facebook account . She reads all the messages and conversions without my permission. I don't think she has the right to be doing this. I changed my password and didn't tell her what it was, when she couldn't log in and she threatened to take away my iPod and use of the computer until I told her the new password. She does have her own account but she wants to always see what me and friends are up too. I think no because it violates my privacy and there must some law against this. I want her to stop. Sometimes she even talks to my friends on chat while on my account and my friends find this awkward. Their parents never go near their account.
Posted by: AnonymousHilarious? I think not.
I think over protective parent's are what is hilarious. If your child gives you reason to not trust them .. Than by all means look through their phone. If you find something awful then take their phone away. Fine. BUT. I am 18 years old and my 17 year old boyfriend who is a couple months younger than me has ridiculous parents. They take his phone everyday at 9 o clock and search it. It's ridiculous. This cyber bullying crap, talking to strangers, and sexting stuff does not happen with well rounded intelligent kids, and if you have to look through your child's phone to find out about it than you and your child have an awful relationship. Probably due to the fact that you suffocate them. I understand the need to protect your children, but if they are over 15 than they should be able to have private conversations. The fact is that teens make dirty jokes ,flirt, kiss, and use cuss words and at the age of 16 and 17 they do a lot of the things that parents won't want them doing until they are out of there house. If your child has the respect to not act the way they do with their friends around you and people who won't appreciate it, and is smart enough to stay out of trouble, and trusts you enough to come to you if they are in a bad situation than you have no reason to not provide them with privacy. When you take a good child's phone you are basically telling them that you think they are stupid, immature, and not to be trusted and treating them like they are not old enough to make their own decisions.. Which is funny because it is at this age when people start planning their lives. I think my boyfriend's parents are very friendly and kind and i know they only have good intentions, but he hates them. He wants to move out and get as far from them as he can. Don't ruin your relationship with your child. Ohh and umm i feel like a lot of teenagers pay for their own phones? And teenagers do need phones. I have a job , school, and band practice everyday, and their is no way i am going to be able to keep up with everything without it. I would know.. My phone has broken and it made my life increasingly difficult.
Posted by: AnonymousIt will ruin the teen's social life and cause them to not feel trusted by their parents.
Any teenager will have conversations with their friends that they won't want their parents to be aware of. If Joe wants to tell Amy he likes her, he's not going to tell her while his parents are driving them both home, and there's nothing wrong with that. In the same way, a teen wouldn't want his mother to hang out with him and his friends after school. While I do believe monitoring seems to solve certain problems, such as sexting and bullying, a teen can easily get perform the similar actions via different methods, ex. Jack was planning on sexting Jane, but because he knew his parents read his messages, he just talked dirty to her while they walked home. OR Moe threaten Jake with violent texts, but he was caught by Jake's parents and sent to a different school. Moe's friend Harold gets back at Jake everyday by giving him dirty looks and yelling at him in Gym when the teacher isn't looking.
If a parent wants to avoid these issues, they would talk to their children about the problems they might face, and teach them how to deal with them on their own, rather than marching into their personal lives and fighting all their battles for them.
Nowadays, teens use texting as their main way of communicating. If a teen knows their parent is monitoring them, they probably won't text, just because it's as uncomfortable as talking to a friend with their parent on the extension. They might make less friends, or they might use other ways of IMing (Facebook, AIM, pinger) inappropriately just to prove to their parents that can get around their parent's monitoring. Some might argue that parents should monitor or block the above sites as well, but there are many other's, and it would be very difficult to block or monitor them all in my opinion.
If anyone answered "yes" to this question, managed to make it though my entire argument, and disagrees with me, I would love to discuss the topic with them using my below email.Posted by: AnonymousNo.
Children/Teens have the right to privacy. Parents have no right to invade that privacy. Facebook/Twitter/Text Messages are part of that privacy. I have a friend whose sisters look at his messages and tell their dad anything they see. He is depressed now because his dad made him and his girlfriend break-up.
Parents Invading Privacy = Invasion of Happiness.
When I have kids, I will not look at their Facebook messages. AT ALL.Posted by: WestCoastStormWatchLike Reading a Diary or Journal.
It's like your reading someone's diary or journal. It is your own journal in a way. That is a huge violation of privacy. Especially at teens' age, teens need their privacy. And besides we can just delete our texts anyways. But if reading mail, or someone else's email is illegal, reading someone's texts should absolutely have at least some personal boundaries, and restrictions.
Posted by: AnonymousThat's not a good idea.
Teenagers want independence and freedom and reading their texts violates that. It also makes them think you don't trust them which will make them not want to tell you anything going on in their life. It might seem like a good idea but will hurt your relationship with them when they start dating, have complications and other problems in their already complicated lives. When I was a teenager my parents read my email, messages, and texts and I hated it and never told them anything because of that I now know what it feels like to have over protective parents plus if a teenager texts something they can say it face to face anyway and reading personal things is like someone walking in your house without asking and going through your personal items.
Posted by: AnonymousI say no
I think a parent should trust their child, if they don't, talk to them. I don't get all the sneaking around, it's pathetic. Parents say the want strong, trusting relationships with their kids yet they go around reading their private things, I doubt their kids would do the same to them.
Posted by: AnonymousParents reading a child's text messages is an invasion of privacy.
The child might think that you don't trust him/her and try to isolate him/herself from you. Trust is essential in every relationship, so you should ask them if they have been sending appropriate messages and take their word for it.
Posted by: AnonymousAn obvious intrusion of privacy...
People always get riled up about government agencies (eg NSA and GCHQ) looking through people's personal contacts, so why should our parents be allowed to do the same? It just sets a bad example and also shows that hypocrisy is OK.
When I have children I will let them live their own lives and try to be as laid back but as supportive as possible.Posted by: AnonymousIf you're nosy, your kid is going to loose trust in you
When you were in jr high or middle school, did you want your parents listening to your phone calls? I think not. If you give your teen trust and respect for there privacy, they will overall like you better and most likely have trust in you. If you can openly talk with your child about things instead of reading there texts to figure everything out you'd have a much better relationship
Posted by: AnonymousNo way! Invading someone's privacy does not help!
I say no. Like every other teen, I don't want anyone to invade my privacy. Have you not seen why all those social networking sites have passwords? If you can't have YOUR privacy to yourself, then WHAT can you have? Teens might tell some things to friends that they might not feel the comfort and bravery to tell their parents. Everyone should understand this. Checking your teens text messages, emails and phone calls not only spoils them, but it also makes them lose trust in you! If there's no trust, there's no relationship between the kid and the parent. It also makes teens more rebellious and causes them to do bad things just to get back to you! Its all up to you now, read their messages or not read their messages?
Posted by: JustAnotherTeenEveryone deserves equal respect; regardless of age.
I'm sixteen now, and up to a few months ago, my parents never cared to look at my texts or calls. They could if they had wanted to (obviously) but chose that we'd both have mutual respect and trust. Now? They read my texts and see who is calling me regularly from a device online. I so much as text a number they don't recognize, and the very next day that person is blocked from my phone. I'm afraid to text anyone, and I even shy away from harmless conversations with my friends because I know that they'll be reading every word of it. This is the ultimate invasion of privacy, and invading privacy is blatantly saying that you have no respect for that person. Parents claim that they deserve respect: well, children and teenagers deserve it as well. If you want it, you have to give it in return. I understand that the intentions of reading the texts and looking at the calls is a good one (making sure your children are safe, wanting to protect them and keep them in line) but at the same time, you have to recognize what's fair and what isn't. Would you like someone reading your every conversation? Some things are private, and are meant to be private, regardless of the persons age. Much of life is about having experiences, making mistakes and learning from them. By sheltering your child and literally taking away the right for them to have freedom of speech, freedom to talk to who they want to, freedom to express themselves verbally you're also denying them part of youth and part of the rights that we all (from a five year old to a fifty year old) are promised. You might ask: why did your parents suddenly start reading your texts when they hadn't previously? I violated their trust. I did, and I'll admit that. I put myself in a bad position with an older man, sneaking out to see him and growing romantically involved. It was a mistake that I made, and that I've come back from with a new-found wisdom. When they blocked him from my phone and started tracking who I was talking to, it didn't give me that wisdom and it didn't give me anything positive to learn from the experience. I was miserable for a long time, and didn't even feel safe to text my friends when I was unhappy and needed company, because I knew every word I wrote they would be reading the very next day. Granted, had they been looking into my phone to begin with, the relationship wouldn't have happened. But in life, especially when you grow up, you'll have experiences (some good and some bad) and make mistakes: that's how you learn. Sheltering children and watching their every move will only set them up to fail when they have to enter into an adult society and make their own decisions. It's an invasion of privacy, and it's wrong.
Posted by: AnonymousIt's an invasion of privacy and is extremely disrespectful.
I am currently seventeen years of age and I can't wait until I'm eighteen and legally an adult, making thus illegal. But, I read through all of the "YES" responses and the "NO" responses. I find it interesting how people legitimately have this view that parents should be allowed to read a teenager's text message. I understand that the child is a minor. Technically, yes. It is legal. But is it worth it? How many conversations do you have on your cellphone that you wouldn't want your child knowing (to parents)? What if you're texting your husband/wife inappropriate messages? Of course you wouldn't want your child reading that, just as your child wouldn't want you to read any of their emotional messages to a high school crush. If you truly trust your child, one would understand their need for privacy. I completely agree that this is a huge invasion. It creates a huge barrier between mother/father and child. I got my first cellphone in sixth grade. Before then I used to tell my mother everything. We got a long, most of the time, etc. Back then my phone was limited to texting only and calls of which were only able to be made to my mother. Once I got into middle school I was able to use calling to friends. Then, in high school, it was still the same. But, now that I'm in high school we have texting, IMing, facebook, snapchat, textfree, skype, facetime, etc. A parent can't manage everything! My mother began to read my messages when I was asleep, when I got into middle school. She read that I was flirting with this guy and didn't pay attention to anything except the fact that he was a year older than me and didn't care about how informal and sincere he was. She automatically made assumptions and it seriously ruined our relationship. I now have a lock on my phone, which I change every month, incase she figures it out. I also delete all of my 'flirt' messages or secrets. No matter how much I do to protect my privacy, I still have that fear that she's going to snoop. Even if I have nothing to hide, just the fact that I don't have that trust threatens our relationship, horribly. It's been four years since she first snooped my phone and I still have a lock code. I don't trust her and we fight almost weekly, now. It's seriously ruined us. I don't understand how there's any positive side to this. Sure, it's legal. But it doesn't help. You may fool yourself into thinking "Oh, they need to be monitored. Drugs. Sex. Oh, no." But by monitoring them and putting those ideas into their heads, creates a belief that that is what every teenager does, which is untrue. Thus actually encouraging such an action, through the thought process. Also, if a parent was reading through their child's messages, they're also considered as reading through the receiver of your child's messages. Thus of whom they're not legally able to read. Therefore, not only are they invading their child's privacy, but another's. A conversation is between two people. Not two and an overseer. Have respect and be consciously aware of this obviously wrong situation.
Posted by: AnonymousEverything can't be shared with them
Well it's true that parents are concerned about their children but allowing them to read child's text messages is wrong, every one have his/her personal life and not everything can be shared with parents. Also relationship between parents and child should be that much strong that they don't need to read his/her messages for knowing what's going on his/her life.
Posted by: AnonymousMost definitely not.
In proven count the scientific board reports that over average amount of protective parents there child may suffer from extreme anxiety and loss of trust. It also leads to depression in some cases where the child feels like it isn't capable of its own life anymore,and turns to suicide. If the child is being bullied they might have no trust in there parents anymore, and not tell them which defeats the whole "bulling" purpose of looking through the messages. Parents should not solve there problems so easily, they should talk to there child, not snoop through there messages.Its called as I say "cheating at being a parent" if you ask me.
Posted by: AnonymousNo
My parents decided that it would be a great idea if they take my phone at 9pm every night and read through all my messages. It is an invasion of privacy. How are we supposed to learn from our own mistakes if our parents are looking over our shoulder 24/7? How are we supposed to become independent and responsible for our actions? We have rights as an individual too meaning that we can also set the bar when it comes to our privacy.
Posted by: AnonymousNo
The reason for this acusaton is that it invades the thing that we were given the freedom to be what we want and to live with personal opinions. by looking at the text messages of younger generations this compleatly defines the point i gave then again I dont text at all.
Posted by: AnonymousNo
Parents should not be reading anything of there teens. That has to do with internet history, texts, or diary's! That stuff is PRIVATE. I am a 14 year old girl. I have a cell phone, a laptop, an ipod, and a diary. My mom never looks through my lap top, but she looks through my texts. I dont say anything bad in my texts. But I hold back on talking about boys to my Best friends because of my mother snooping. Its just so wrong! We as teenagers deserve privacy. Think about it.
If you were in public, and some stranger set their phone on the seat next to you, would you have the right to read it? NO! So why should parents invade our privacy.Posted by: FUNNYSTUFFInvasive Behavior Where it's Not Needed
Teens will discuss things with friends that parents have absolutely no place in, such as dating. Parents are here to guide children to a happy healthy life, not to monitor their personal life. Parents have no say and no place in these things, and should NEVER go into a teen's personal life.
Posted by: AnonymousNo matter what age the child should have their own privacy
It destroys the trust between the parent and child. Would parents like it if I went through their texts, their purses, and their phones? Legally they have a right but honestly that's the stupidest and most pathetic thing I have heard. Your child deserves respect.
Posted by: AnonymousSome Privacy Needed
Parents should not be reading their teens texts. It's not right. Yeah, they probably have a few guys numbers. But you go to a school with guys. They can't stay away from them. Teens try to ignore their parents as much as. Possible and the reason is because they want privacy. The only way they feel they can get it is by not talking to their parents, maybe if you weren't so protective your child would be more open about who she or he is texting. For example: Your kid is having some friends over, do you go listen to their conversations and sit outside the door? No. Then there is no right to go read conversations. Spoken or typed. None of your business.
Posted by: AnonymousNO IT WILL DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP
my parents went through my phone all the time and it made me feel like SHIT. I'm only 14 and I don't tell them anything anymore, i don't share any of my personal thoughts with either of them, i feel like i am just a stupid toy of theirs thats all their property and i have no voice in my life. It is not fair. any one who is going to do it, DONT
Posted by: eaarielleIf you do not want the kid to resent you then don't
I caught my mom reading my messages one day when I accidently left my phone in her room just cause its there doesn't mean you have the right to look through it. I have never given my mom the reason to not trust me. Never drink never smoke I grew up around a church and have never done anything bad at school. I'm 16 and I just think if I wanted to tell you something I was talking to about my friends then I would have don't force your way into my life. I cant trust her much anymore she always lies to me about things I know about already don't try to be so controlling that you need to read your kids text. Well I'm getting a lockable phone in a couple of months and I'm excited because I don't want to have my parents always knowing what I'm talking about with my friends sometimes my friends just get it unlike parents since your friends are more modern and they do spend a lot more time with you. Just don't do it unless you want your kid to not trust you. Parents these days are way to controlling just back off and stop trying to control your teen its their life not yours so just let them breathe!
Posted by: AnonymousNo, it is an invasion of privacy.
That's breaking my right to privacy, that's not right. The 25% that say yes are ALL parents, and how would u like it if people read all of your messages, especially to girls you flirt with and secrets you keep and the troubles you have? That's NOT ok and you should feel horrible if you are up for being nosy enough to get into other people's business which doesn't concern you at all in the slightest.
Posted by: AnonymousParents stop invading your kids relationships! Weren't you kids once?
I have a 13 year old boy who has recently joined the texting craze. He is an excellent student and a busy athlete but uses texting to keep up with friends the way we used to hang on the phone in our rooms with the door closed. I have felt parent pressured into keeping tabs on my son so I'd read his texts once in a while... Maybe once a month. But it never felt right.... I wonder why... Maybe because I was spying on him and reading his private conversation without his knowledge! It felt very very wrong and I decided to not do it anymore. Yes I pay the phone bill. But so did my parents back in the day but they would've never spied on me during my conversations with my friends!
My son Is 13! He is figuring out his friends and girls and he may screw up and text so etching he shouldn't and if he does I imagine there will be consequences just as there were all the times I screwed up. But to read his private conversations??? I just can not stress enough how horrible I think this is.
Having said that, I get that times have changed and texting can be scary and dangerous. So talk to your kid about it. A lot. Just tonight I told my son that he shouldn't text anything he wouldn't be willing to say to someone's face . I also told him he needs to understand that adults may be reading his texts to his friends. Bottom line, if you truly trust your kids, you should not have to soy on them. And they are just figuring life out. You really dont need to know every word that comes out of their mouth along the way.
I trust my kids but I know they will screw up and they'll learn from their mistakes just as we did.Posted by: AnonymousLet the kid live his life the way he wants to
When a parent tells you to do something or goes through a childs stuff it normally upsets the child and they feel the need to rebel, which in the end will get him in more trouble. So give your kid some space to be himself. Another reason parents shouldnt go through your kids phone is because you more then likely will see what you dont want to see your kid saying, and once parents do see that then they get angry. If you didnt want to see it then dont go through my phone.
Posted by: AnonymousNo Not at all!
It is a complete invasion of privacy! Your pushing your child away and your pushing them to rebel against you! Your giving them no space and completely smothering them. By going through their texts and messages your treating them like a thing or an animal by taking away the rights they deserve to have. I wish they would make a law against it so they can't constantly do it, that they can only do it if it's necessary, like they should have to go to court to get a permit to or something.
Posted by: AnonymousNo way everr
It'll just divide parents and kids! I'm 17, left my Facebook open on the communal I-pad the other day! Mum and dad went through all my Facebook messages! We are still fighting because mum read a message to my best friend about her being a b#$@h that was from a year ago! Before she read all my messages me and mum had a great relationship! I apologised but she won't let it go! She won't even talk to me! When I wrote that I didn't mean for her to read it and I was going through some stuff at the time! Anywaysss she hates me now so log out from facebook and delete your messages kids!
Posted by: HannAgain I believe it is a complete invasion of privacy
At the moment my parents are no longer on speaking terms with me as a result of them going through all the messages on my phone. The main reason for this is the crude language one of my friends very infrequently used. When they are reading my messages they are taking everything entirely out of context, and while I agree the language was inappropriate the reason for it made it almost justified. I think all teenagers can agree with me that high school does but huge strain on relationships with family and even how you see yourself. At times the only people you want to talk to are your friends. My parents refuse to believe this, claiming that in our family friends should only be told the trivial funny stories and the really troubling things should be told to them. Then when I came out to find them going through my phone I decided to always delete every message I get immediatley and them reading the messages in the first place has only ended up distancing us even further. Parents should not read their teen's messages, it is as simple as that.
Posted by: AnonymousTeen have rights.
I'm a little biased here as I'm a teenager, but even though I have nothing to hide or anything from my parents, I still don't want them to read what I'm saying to my friends, not only are they intruding on my privacy but also that of my friends, we have our own right to that. I'm 16, old enough to get a job and move out, and I should be trusted to at least talk to my friends without my parents reading everything, and then telling other people about it, there are some things that are only for my friends.
Posted by: AnonymousIt will make the teen feel uncomfortable and limited.
I grew up in the technology age, and my parents, unfortunately, were tech-savvy. I had email; they read it. I remember feeling limited in every way; when I cursed on my email; they came at me: yelling at me, banning me from using email for a few weeks, etc. They set up the email for me, so they know the password and forbid me from changing it. I am pretty sure that the constitution protects me from this, but my parents ruled with fear. They would most likely disagree, and I never was able to build up the courage to resist. My privacy did indeed feel intruded, and I felt limited in every way: afraid to say things to my friends in ways that my parents did not agree with - they read my every email. I feel that parents should definitely not be able to read teens texts because of my personal experience.
Posted by: AnonymousNo, parents should not read texts.
Would your like them to hear if your children heard every cuss word, inappropriate comment, angry quote, emotional thought you had all day everyday? If you wouldn't want it they do not especially in such a time of development and emotion. They want to be able to trust you. If they are being harassed or bullied in any way they will tell you if they trust you. If you are digging for things of that nature, then build trust, do not snoop that will put you back at square one.
Posted by: AnonymousNo.
They should respect they're child's privacy. They should also mind there own buisness. Parents should go get there own life instead of being obsessed with their childs. My parents HAD a life when they were kids/teens maybe they would have little respect for their child's privacy. I don't see the point of parents giving their child a phone if they're just going to go through it. Seriously though parents if you're reading this just take my advice and back off.
Posted by: AnonymousDid you pass notes in class?
Of course you passed notes to your friends in class. Would you have wanted your parents to read them? OF COURSE NOT! Unless you suspect your teens are endangering themselves or others, butt out. Stop trying to micromanage your teens' lives! If you're raising them right, they deserve to have their privacy respected so they can grow into adults with our guidance, respect and support.
Posted by: AnonymousIt will make the teen feel insecure even in his/her own house
Although it is understandable that parents are concerned about their teen, I think such an intrusive method is not an ideal one. Think about the consequences if the teen were to catch his/her parents reading his/her text messages. Not only will the relationship between the parent and teen be strained, the teen may be even more rebellious and commit more disappointing acts. It is unsurprising that almost every teen who finds out about their parent's act will flare up and many will not understand their parents' concern and love expressed in such a way. Other than that, the most significant consequence that even the most understanding and unrebellious teen will experience is the feeling of insecurity even in one's own house. He/she may feel the need to be constantly guarded to prevent his/her privacy to be intruded. This kind of psychological stress is not god for the teen's health and well-being. Since home should be a place where a person feels safe and secure, I feel that this is a serious consequence. Hence, parents should explore better ways to educate their child like directly conveying positive messages and values to bring their child back on track and give the child space to grow, learn, and explore his/her full potential.
Posted by: Anonymous