It isn't considered abuse unless you leave a mark. I was raised with spankings and "whoopings" and i have grown up to be respectful towards adults and others. I met a 9 year old the other day, who thought she could tell me what to do for her, acting older than what she was. Later, i heard her mom saying that she had never touched her child like that, only time outs. Time outs aren't a way of seriously saying something is wrong. You have to discipline the child to learn from their mistakes.
Although I didn't like it when my parents spanked me, I now realize that it kept me in shape. And I'm only 15!
I have a cousin, and she's only 8. And she screams at her parents and act as if she's the boss in the house. Its only because her parents didnt spank her when she did things she wasnt supposed to. My parents didnt hit me EVERY time I did something wrong, but when they wanted me to learn and it was something that they wanted to write into my mind, they did.
When I stole, had an attitude and ect.
For the most part, my brood responded to Time-outs. But as they got older, it did not work. That was when a spanking became effective. I can count their spankings, on one hand. We always gave them a warning, first. If the behavior continued, they were spanked. It was done by hand, with 2 or 3 swats to their backside. Obviously, as they become teens, discipline requires creativity. NOTHING worked as well as taking the video-gaming system or car keys, when mine reached that age. Although, my neighbor swears by taking the cell-phone ... For a couple of days or a week.
My mother and father spanked me at a young age and it really taught me to listen. It kept me from turning those small acts into bigger ones. I once got mad at my mother for something when I was about 3 or 4 years old and I cut the blinds in anger. My mother spanked me with one of those wooden paint stirrer stick thingamajigs and I knew at that moment that when I am angry at somebody, it is not acceptable to destroy their stuff as a result. If my parents never spanked me and I never felt that pain, 20 years from now I may be throwing a rock through somebody's window for upsetting me. I believe that it is a great form a punishment; it definitely worked for me and so many others.
I think just sending your child/teen to there room will do just fine.I think your child at a certain age 13+. It should be illegal. Spanking doesn't solve anything it just makes it worse and make them more bad. By taking you child's things away and sending them to there room or making them not go anywhere on the weekends they will learn there lesson and be more full of learning.
Parents who use violence to teach a lesson to their children are setting a bad example themselves. Spanking, to me, seems like the easy way to deal with a child's misbehaving.
There are many other alternatives to hitting a child, and parents should use one of them. It's best to teach your child to talk things out peacefully, so you can understand each other when problems arise. Taking away privileges is a good way to teach a lesson as well if it doesn't work. Although it is harder to resolve issues without just spanking the lesson in them, it's best to discipline your son or daughter with a less violent way, and as a person.
Violence does NOT fit in the art of raising a child. I must say that the parents that hit their children has lost both my respect, and if i could decide(i know i can't) i would say that they lose their right to be parents.
Animals use violence to raise their children, but they don't have a language. When i was a kid and had a flip my mother would just drag me into my room and say "You're 4 years old so you have to stay there for 4 minutes." And when i crawled out of the room she dragged me in again and said "You stayed for 2 minutes, now you have to stay for six minutes". It took some time but i stopped and started listening to her. Thinking about it, it always annoyed me how calm she was, doing that.
But that's another thing we have to teach the children. Be calm in pressured situations. I've been hit ONCE! And even the day today where my mother apologised and said it was stupid, i don't trust her in a fight because i know that she easily becomes impulsive with older children.
My point is that children are fragile minded. They have an extraordinary way of thinking and learning but it's so fragile. Be careful with it. They should grow up to be positive and learn to use the language to solve problems.
Try being a powerful authoritative figure in your child's life. Be the person they don't mess with because they are scared of losing your trust. Also be the kind person who is there for them and is able to tell what is wrong without being to nosy. Set the example in everything you do. There is no need to resort to violence if you can be the parent your supposed to be. I know its not that easy, but don't try, succeed in being the best parent possible. Violence always feeds violence. However, its extremely impressive when your mother breaks a wooden spoon on your ass and it doesn't hurt.(true story) She stopped after that. Only advice to kids is to do squats if your parents spank you.
Taking somethung away from a child is far more effective than spanking. I have met kids who were never spanked and behaved like angels. I have also met kids who were always spanked and their behavior was awful. If a parent thinks that hurting their kid is the best path to discipline, they really need to be more creative.