Short of genocide I don't see a justification for military force. But using foreign aid as an influence is completely justified. It is our money and we don't have to give any if we don't want to, so we can be as selective as we want. If a regime is oppressing women we shouldn't encourage that.
The United States can choose to give or not give money to whoever it wants to. If the United States decided to say to the international community that we will not give aid to countries that have particular value systems, then that is their prerogative. However, you cannot pick and choose what countries this applies to. It has to be for everyone.
In poor countries, treatment of women is horrible. Rape, honorkillings, and powerlessness are widespread and women in nations such as Afghanistan, Democratic Republic of Congo, and Nepal do not know the rights and privileges that women in richer nations know. In 1970, richer nations pledged to contribute 0.7% of their GNI to foreign aid.
If the United States is facing global backlash because we've been acting as the world police (without bothering to ask anyone if we should be), then on what plane of reality would it make sense for us to meddle in such affairs? Oppressive gender policies are horrible and backwards, yes, but these nations will eventually evolve on their own.
Would it even work? That is the question on my mind. Oppressive regimes don't see themselves as oppressive. You would have to convince them they were wrong.
Islamic states don't see themselves as oppressing women. They see women as a protected class, with a specific role in life. They see men as a responsible class, meant to oversee and enforce 'appropriate' behaviours. If you can't convince them that they are 'wrong' when they have a major hate on for how OUR culture treats women, then nothing will change.
They got along without foreign aid before, and will get along without it later.
So, it would be great to be able to get people to support universal equal rights, but I don't think that foreign aid would really be an effective conduit for change.