It's come out that Adam Lanza had social and developmental issues. That's tough for any parent to face. However, that same teen who was obsessed with violent video games (I don't have issues with the games, my son plays them) , was also obsessed with another serial killer, and watched his mother obsessing over the supposed end of the world. She allowed him access to the guns knowing his history and that's where I do feel she was a bad mother.
It is hard to boil story as tragic and horrific as this down to a simple yes or no answer. However, I would have to go with her being a bad mother. Adam Lanza became estranged from his other family members, and it is obvious that she didn't take enough precautions with his particular condition.
When she knew there were issues with her son, she didn't take doctor's advice seriously and was in denial. And when he would be locked up in his room for days and hours without social contacts, obviously things are seriously wrong. She should have acted on the situation at the right time.
I have sympathies that she ended up having a child like Adam and that she became his victim too. But there was so much she could do to help the situation.
She skipped his therapy appts. Refused his meds. Let him hole himself up in his room so he could play violent video games and study serial killers all while she was out on vacations pampering herself. Allowed access to lots of firearms she trained him on then unleashed him on society. She was a mother in denial and who used poor judgement. She was his first victim for a reason. So sad.
Of course it isn't Nancy Lanza's fault that her son did what he did, and why her lack of skill as a mother isn't necessarily the cause, it probably did have a lot to do with how Adam Lanza grew up to be. It's been reported she talked over him and for him and did little to nothing about his lack of social development. From what has been said, it sounds as if she didn't care much for her son and showed it in her attitude.
Adam Lanza was obviously a very disturbed person who had developmental and social issues. It is the responsibility of the parent to try to help their child any way possible. Adam Lanza was obsessed with serial killers. It is not normal for a teenage boy to obsess over serial killers.
It is pretty clear to me that many of the horrific things that happened that day could have easily been prevented by this woman. She was living with someone who had mental problems but was not getting him the help he needed. Knowing this, she did not keep her weapons safely out of reach, and she did not do enough to make sure her son was stable and safe.
It's pretty easy for the media or other people to blame the parents of a serial killer. I don't believe it was Nancy's fault. Adam was diagnosed with Aspergers and perhaps Nancy may have felt guilty. She attempted to rekindle their relationship by taking him to a shooting range. There was no way Nancy could have prevented this from happening. I believe it was the American social system. There really is no support for people suffering from mental disorders. The symptoms were clear but there is clearly no education therefore parents aren't aware that there is something wrong with their child. Additionally its difficult for parents to come to terms with the fact that their child is suffering from schizophrenia, like in this case. Another reason was the fact that guns are legal in America. Surely Obama should realise that shootings are a major problem for America. If guns are still legal there will be more shootings. Its pretty simple.
Nancy Lanza tried to raise Adam on her own after a messy divorce. She had multiple problems with him and was in the process of trying to find a special place for him. She was scared of him and what he might do. He overheard her telling someone she was going to send him away to get him some help and he lost it. That was not her fault.
There are numerous instances of Nancy Lanza attempting to find help for her son. We have a serious problem in this country dealing with mental instability. It's time that the resources were made available to all the future Nancy Lanza's out there to effectively deal with children who are having problems. It's easy to blame the woman after the fact, but we as a society failed her in the same way she failed Adam.