The Instigator
dizzer50
Pro (for)
The Contender
lotr3d
Con (against)

An adult should not be charged with "sexual abuse" if teenager consented and instigated

Do you like this debate?NoYes+0
Add this debate to Google Add this debate to Delicious Add this debate to FaceBook Add this debate to Digg  
Debate Round Forfeited
lotr3d has forfeited round #2.
Our system has not yet updated this debate. Please check back in a few minutes for more options.
Time Remaining
00days00hours00minutes00seconds
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 5/16/2018 Category: Politics
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Debating Period
Viewed: 451 times Debate No: 113989
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (9)
Votes (0)

 

dizzer50

Pro

A friend of mine was currently put in a terrible situation. She is a single mother of an 8 year old daughter. She lost her husband (her daughters father) just a few years ago. She has been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, and PTDS. She has had these issues most of her life, but the PTSD was recently diagnosed. For many years she experienced dissociation (disconnection from the world), but was not aware of what was actually happening to her. She was going through one of the hardest times of her life, as she was missing the love of her life, trying to maintain a home, animals, and a daughter, and also having to sell her house. The house she had lived in for the past eight years. This was a traumatic experience for her considering all her memories had been stored in this home. During this time a teenage boy entered her life. He came to her with advice because his parents didn't show any interest in his life. This teen had been doing drugs, and having sex since he was about 11 years old. He was VERY experienced and knew how to manipulate people to get what he wanted. While this 30 year old woman was aware that any kind of sexual interaction was illegal, she ignored his first advances and told him it was wrong. With her mind in a very dark place and extremely vulnerable, the boy managed to talk the woman into believing that she would not get in trouble and that everything would be okay. For the first time in a very long time the woman felt comfort and loved, and that he actually cared about her happiness. The two started having a relationship which lasted only a few weeks until the woman got arrested.
This woman had zero criminal history, was an amazing mother, and had a heart of gold. She helped everyone that ever came to her, and even those who did not. She was a regular volunteer at soup kitchens and feed my starving children. Upon being arrested she had to spend two weeks in jail. Two weeks away from her daughter which was the longest amount of time she had been away from her daughter since birth. After being bailed out of jail she admitted herself into an inpatient treatment to get help for her mental problems. She stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks then when she got released she went on to doing the intensive outpatient treatment for 6 weeks, then therapy. She also enrolled for a Christian college, and has grown in her faith. She has turned her life around. She had been dealing with the case for about a year. During this time, she was unable to attend her daughters school or events, and had a curfew. This was heart breaking for both her and her daughter. Considering her child's father had passed away, she was the only parent that could attend her things, and the court wouldn't even allow her to.
The prosecutor offered a plea deal of 18 months of periodic imprisonment, 30 months probation, and life time registry as a sex offender.
This means she can never again in her life attend any of the special events her daughter is involved in which not only effects herself, but her daughter as well.
As for the boy, he continues to do many drugs, break laws, and manipulate girls of all ages to have sex with him on a daily basis.
This boy needs to be punished for his actions as well as the adult woman.
My friend owns up to her mistakes and completely admits she was wrong and should have known better, but in the state of mind she was in, her judgement was very impaired.
She should NOT be charged with sexual abuse, considering all these circumstances. Her and her child should not have to have a lifetime sentence because a manipulative teenage boy took advantage of her when she was clearly not in her right mind! I am so outraged by this situation considering I know what an absolutely amazing woman this lady is and how much she has done for society and her daughter.
Many other adults have also been in a comparable situation and these poor adults have to suffer the rest of their lives as well while the one who actually did the manipulating is treated like a victim and that they are completely innocent. That is down right wrong.
lotr3d

Con

Whether or not it's a mental illness or whatever the case maybe. The adult should still be charged because he/she have had sexual contact with a child.
Debate Round No. 1
dizzer50

Pro

I agree that to some extent these adults should recognize that what they did was wrong. In certain cases (like my friends), I feel they need to take into consideration that this teenager was very "mature" for his age, and had already been sexually active for years before he had even met her. He also has admitted to getting a few girls pregnant, and laughs about it. He says he is not going to stop doing drugs and having sex with as many girls as he can because he knows he will never get in bad trouble. He has already had a few encounters with the cops and has a few things on his record. Instead of letting teens like him roam free and make them think that what they are doing is okay, their cries for help should not be ignored and actually get them the correct treatment they need. If punishment is needed, then they should be punished as well. My friend has already been severely punished. She could buy a house with the amount of money she had to pay in lawyer fees, she has been severely traumatized by everything, and she now has to be on the sex registry for the rest of her life. Her and I both agree that she deserved some punishment because what she did was wrong. She will openly admit it but she does not deserve a lifetime sentence of being a registered sex offender for life, which also punishes her innocent child. She has suffered more than enough, and she has gotten the treatment she needed, is going to a great college, and raising a beautiful, well mannered, and sweet daughter. She has never been in trouble in her entire 30 years of life.
This round has not been posted yet.
Debate Round No. 2
This round has not been posted yet.
This round has not been posted yet.
Debate Round No. 3
9 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 9 records.
Posted by dizzer50 3 years ago
dizzer50
yes she was open and honest from the beginning...she realized how wrong she was while in treatment at an inpatient facility. She truly believed the boy when he told her everything was fine, and she wouldn't get in trouble. Her dissociations during the time she was with the boy were pretty bad and she doesn't even remember most of what happened, just bits and pieces and gets flashbacks. She always says... looking back now at the situation she cannot believe how she could put so much trust in a teenage boy. During the time it was impulsive, and the fact of the matter is that it had nothing to do with his age. Had a 40 year old man came into her life at that point in time and made her feel as special as this boy did, she would have fallen for him as well. She was just craving the love and affection that she had been missing for years, and this boy made her feel special. All that matters is that she actively took it upon herself to get intense treatment to deal with the loss of her husband which was clearly the root of her issues. I truly believe this boy slightly reminded her of her husband when they first met when they were teens, and it gave her that feeling of comfort. She really did not have bad intentions. She is a good person, she got help, and she is not attracted to children. She had been working with children and teenagers the past 15 years and has never had any sort of attraction to any of them. This boy just happened to bring her comfort...it had nothing to do with the fact that he was a teenager.
Posted by dizzer50 3 years ago
dizzer50
yes she was open and honest from the beginning...she realized how wrong she was while in treatment at an inpatient facility. She truly believed the boy when he told her everything was fine, and she wouldn't get in trouble. Her dissociations during the time she was with the boy were pretty bad and she doesn't even remember most of what happened, just bits and pieces and gets flashbacks. She always says... looking back now at the situation she cannot believe how she could put so much trust in a teenage boy. During the time it was impulsive, and the fact of the matter is that it had nothing to do with his age. Had a 40 year old man came into her life at that point in time and made her feel as special as this boy did, she would have fallen for him as well. She was just craving the love and affection that she had been missing for years, and this boy made her feel special. All that matters is that she actively took it upon herself to get intense treatment to deal with the loss of her husband which was clearly the root of her issues. I truly believe this boy slightly reminded her of her husband when they first met when they were teens, and it gave her that feeling of comfort. She really did not have bad intentions. She is a good person, she got help, and she is not attracted to children. She had been working with children and teenagers the past 15 years and has never had any sort of attraction to any of them. This boy just happened to bring her comfort...it had nothing to do with the fact that he was a teenager.
Posted by ecksdee123 3 years ago
ecksdee123
"My friend ADMITS that what she did was wrong"

That's why she was charged. Case closed.

P.S. Coming from a prosecutor's perspective, I still don't see any logical reason for why your friend would have sex with a minor. However, I see your point. The court should've allowed a subpeona her [your friend], and depending on how the case was run, this could be unconstitutional assuming you're from America.
Posted by dizzer50 3 years ago
dizzer50
The boy openly admitted in a recorded session that he seduced her, and that he USED HER. He climbed into her bedroom window one night and caught her off guard and gave her a sob story that his parents kicked him out and he had nowhere else to go. My friend has a very kind heart and didn't want him to be roaming the streets. The boy is 16. His mother (who doesn't even care about him) refused to let the evidence of her son confessing everything in court because she did not want to look like a bad mother. She wanted to make it seem like her son was a completely innocent victim. Which was clearly not the case. My friend ADMITS that what she did was wrong but she clearly had impaired judgement and she should NOT be punished for life considering this is her first offense and she was very mentally unstable. I just don't think this is fair for her.
Posted by ecksdee123 3 years ago
ecksdee123
I'll say this on behalf of Con.

I have no idea how old this teenage boy is (really important), but your story may be just another sad tell-tale of those who were the exception.

But to say that an adult shouldn't be charged with sexual abuse (read: or the like) if the child- mind you, CHILD, instigated... Is outlandish to say the least. There's so many things that are wrong with this. One of the reasons is that the reason children aren't lawfully allowed to have sex before 17 is that they're most likely not mentally prepared for it. You can clearly see this by the description of the teenage boy; Drug user, hypersexual, manipulator, the like.

Also, an adult (in this case, your friend) would need proof that the teenager or younger consented to intercourse or whatever. Not only is that extremely hard to get in the moment, to use for later... but it's also very hard to prove if it isn't say, written down! Your friend [in your words, and there lack of], doesn't even have any proof that she was manipulated (as mentioned by Minddagger)! Any competent prosecutor would mention the fact that your friend already knew what the boy was trying to get to was wrong, so why would she all of a sudden forget about that later?

This is a mess, and I feel very sorry for your friend who is in a horrible situation, but your solution to her problem is a VERY bad one.
Posted by Minddagger 3 years ago
Minddagger
what i mean is, do you have any evidence that your freind was manipulated?
Posted by dizzer50 3 years ago
dizzer50
minddagger can you please make your comments a little more clear? I don't understand what they mean. Thank you!
Posted by Minddagger 3 years ago
Minddagger
you seem to be painting the kidas manipulating woman and breaking laws, got any proof?
Posted by Minddagger 3 years ago
Minddagger
The mother should not have listend, regardless of what she was she still agreed and is a pedophile who commited child abuse, nothing will change that. i think your biased because she was your freind.
This debate has 2 more rounds before the voting begins. If you want to receive email updates for this debate, click the Add to My Favorites link at the top of the page.

By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and our Terms of Use.