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Best Jokes

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/5/2013 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,281 times Debate No: 29933
Debate Rounds (3)
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OK, So I want to have a joke off. Pretty basic, each round is a different topic. (Blond Jokes, Yo Mama, etc.) Who ever has the best jokes wins! Please try to keep language down! Thanks and may the best jokester win!

Round 1. Accepting the Challenge
Round 2. Blond Jokes
Round 2. Yo Mama Jokes
Round 3. Debater's choice (Can be about anything)


You're on!!!
Debate Round No. 1


Blond Joke #1:

A Blond, a Brunette, and a Red Head are all running from the cops. While running in an alley, they find three sacks. The Red Head climbs in the first one, the Brunette the second, and the Blond the third. A cop walks by the alley, and spots the three sacks. He pokes the first one, and the Red Head goes, "Meow, Meow." The Cop thinks it's just a cat... The Cop pokes the second one, where the Brunette goes, "Roof!" The Cop thinks it's just a dog... The Cop pokes the third one, the Blond goes, "PO-TA-TO!"

Blond Joke #2:

3 people have won the trip of a lifetime, A business man, a Boy Scout, and a Blond. They are all flying to the Bahamas when an engine goes out. The Pilot of the private jet takes one of the three parachutes and jumps off. The Blond, takes a bag and jumps off as well. The business man looks at the Boy Scout and says, "Go ahead boy, take the last chute." The Boy Scout looks up at the business man puzzled, he answers, "It's alright sir, that Blond took my backpack."

Yo Mama Jokes:
Yo Mama's so fat she counts as a 25 kill streak on Call of Duty
Yo Mama's so fat, that when she went to Jenny Craig, Jenny Craig said, Sorry, I don't do miracles.
Yo Mama is so dumb, that when she saw a bus full of white kids, she yelled out, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!"
Yo Mama's teeth are so yellow, that crow's peck at them because they think that they're corn.
Yo Mama is so poor, that when I saw her kicking a can down the street, and I asked what she was doing, she said, "Moving."

YOUR TURN, Can't wait to hear your jokes!


Disappointingly unoriginal.. oh well. I guess I will also cherry pick the ones I deem best from various google'd sites
Blond Joke:
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are marooned on an island 20 miles east of the mainland. They are running out of food and supplies and have gone without a meal for nearly a day. The brunette, realizing the situation, found that there was nothing to do but to attempt to breach this 20 mile channel of water. The brunette swam out 5 miles and was drowned, but none of her friends realized this since she was so far away. The redhead decided to follow the lead after a while and started swimming. The slightly more athletic redhead managed to swim 10 miles, but she still drowned. THe blond, feeling lonely, decided to follow her friends either to the death or to freedom. The blonde was a superathelete and managed to swim all of 18 miles. the shores of the mainland was in sight and she was only somewhat out of breath from the exercise, but the blond thought to herself: "Whew! I'm tired! I'll go back and try again tomorrow.." and thus the blonde turned around, swam 16 miles, and drowned.

Blond joke #2: A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are placed in a savage land as part of a punishment. They wondered around for a while before they were caught by a tribe of cannibals. The cannibals, as part of their ceremony, gave each girl a chance to live.
The lead cannibal said: "If you want to live, you are to stuff 10 pieces of one of their selected fruit up their anal passage without making a sound. If you fail, we will eat you immediately. Oh, and you can't use the same fruit."
All three were slaughtered and eaten.
The brunette panicked, asked for apples, and began sticking them in her anal passage, but the pain and humiliation was too much; she ended up bursting out and was, immediately, eaten. She was eaten and went to heaven. After a few minutes, the redhead appeared beside her.
"How did you fail, I saw you chose grapes!" asked the Brunette.
The redhead replied: "I put in the tenth grape and yelled 'YES!' and was eaten, those cannibals.. >.>"
Not long after, the blonde appeared. The redhead and the Brunette, both curious as to her death, asked her: "How did you fail?"
"I couldn't even get in the first pineapple. D:"

Blonde joke #3:
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stuck on an island. After wandering around aimlessly without food and running water, they stumbled upon a magical lamp. Ecstatic, they rubbed the lamp and out came a genie. The genie told them they each have 3 wishes and to wish wisely. The redhead immediately wished to be home with her family.
The redhead disappears.
The brunette, eager to get home, asked to be transported to her house.
THe brunette disappears.
THe blonde started crying and sobbed, "Now I'm all alone! I wish my friends were with me.."
2 weeks later, on the very same island, a blonde, a redhead and a brunette were found to be dead. The blonde and the redhead were found starved to the bone on the foot of a hill. The blonde was found hanging by her neck on a tree.

Yo Mama Jokes:
1. Yo mama so fat, she has her own orbit.
2. Yo mama so dumb, she stared at an orange juice carton for 2 hours because it had the word "concentrate"
3. Yo mama so fat, she jumped into Japan and completely destroyed 2 of its cities and all the people within.
4. Yo mama so ugly, medusa turned to stone upon seeing her.
5. Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
6. Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her ten years to live
7. Yo mama is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "taxi!"
8. Yo mama is so fat that when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.
9. Yo mama is so fat that the last time she saw 90210, it was on a scale.
10. Yo mama is so fat that I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
11. Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on Wal-Mart, she lowered the prices.
12. Yo mama is so fat that people jog around her for exercise.
13. Yo mama is so fat that her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
14.Yo mama is so fat that the sign inside one restaurant says, “Maximum occupancy: 300, or Yo momma.”
15. Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton’s got an echo.
16. Yo mama is so fat.. she's fat, what do more do you want?

Yo mama jokes #5-15 are courtesy of not mine, but good nonetheless. The rest of the jokes are ones I've heard throughout my life.
Last round, last joke! Your turn! :)
Debate Round No. 2


djsports7 forfeited this round.


One day three brothers, Deak, John and Harry, are hiking on the unexplored mountains of the mystical land of bobbybob.
On an especially peculiar day, they happened upon a magical looking cliff. Filled with curiosity, they ventured up the sparkly paths of the peculiar cliff. Yes, the cliff was magical, but none of the brothers knew how it was so.
In fact, the cliff works a special type of magic: while standing on the wide platform on the cliff's edge (whose construction is, in itself, an enigmatic mystery), a person is only to utter a noun, any noun, and he/she will literally become the subject of their utterance.
Unfortunately for the brothers, their knowledge of this dangerous platform upon the cliff is lacking. The prospects of the supernatural was simply too alluring, and the brothers walked unto the platform and began crossing its ancient stone pavings toward the cliff's very edge.
As the brothers looked out upon the open land, they beheld a sight that would overwhelm even the most sturdy of men: Mountains upon mountains of pure, unadulterated gold, piling mile upon mile into an immeasurable distance.
Unable to restrain themselves, Deak and Harry, the more impulsive brothers, laughed in joyous unison: "Gold!!"
They were instantly swathed in a strange light. Both brothers, with a sudden fear, turned to attempt an escape, but they were solidified before even a step was taken. They were doomed to forever stand as guardians warning future stragglers with their faces aghast with confusion and horror.
John, upon losing his two brothers whom he had intimately known all his life, lamented in sheer agony and cried: "HARRY!! DEAK!!!"
A horrid hue of light enveloped him as he shrank into shape. None of the three brothers were ever seen again.
Debate Round No. 3
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