The Instigator
CrisPBoi
Pro (for)
The Contender
Amphia
Con (against)

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

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Debate Round Forfeited
CrisPBoi has forfeited round #3.
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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/15/2018 Category: Science
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Debating Period
Viewed: 396 times Debate No: 108073
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (4)
Votes (0)

 

CrisPBoi

Pro

I believe that a wood chuck could chuck many pieces of would if it could.
Amphia

Con

If a wood chuck could chuck wood, and it chose to, it's teeth would file down do tiny nubs that would make eating painful and essentially impossible. It would only be able to eat soft things like grass which would have a huge blow on their omnivorous diet. Beavers chuck wood because their teeth never stop growing and if they let them grow out, their teeth would literally grow through their skull. They chuck wood to stay alive. Wood chucks do not need to do this so being able to chuck would could ruin their teeth and therefore their diet. And maybe possibly kill them (starvation).

Thus, even if a wood chuck could chuck would it shouldn't chuck wood because it could KILL THEM.
Debate Round No. 1
CrisPBoi

Pro

You are being inconsiderate. You see, Woodchuck has been stuck in this dead-end job for years. It doesn't speak to him and it certainly doesn't pay well, but it pays well enough to bring a hot meal home to the kids. What Woodchuck really wanted to do was be a dancer. Oh, how he would be a star! However, things don't always work out that way. Woodchuck was bullied in high school for this. "You aren't built for dancing" they said. "You will always be a burrower" they said. Woodchuck eventually gave up on his dreams because of the pressure. How he wishes he could start over, but now it is too late. So, if Woodchuck could chuck Wood, he certainly would.
Amphia

Con

How absurd.

Everyone knows that woodchuck was a terrible dancer. His pirouettes look more like he downed a bottle of vodka and began chasing a fly around the room! He can't even touch his toes! Let alone do the splits. He auditioned for America's Got Talent once and they booed him off the stage for looking like a drunk rabbit. He never had a shot in the industry.

Woodchuck is a burrower. He needs to stick to taking care of his kids. Ever since his wife left him, making ends meet has been tough. He was fired from his previous job at Chuckwood and Co. for lying on his application (he doesn't and cannot chuck wood). His dead-end job was the first one he'd had in years. Before that, he and his 26 kids were living in a dumpster. If he were able to chuck wood, he would just file his teeth down to nubs. And then he would be useless and unable to eat.

Then he'd die and his kids would be sent to Annie's Orphanage for Non-chucking Animals where they would be treated like scum.

Is that what you want you evil human being?
Debate Round No. 2
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Debate Round No. 3
4 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Posted by Storephin8204 3 years ago
Storephin8204
How much wood the woodchuck could chuck. Scientists researched it. Too lazy to cite, Google it.
Posted by Amphia 3 years ago
Amphia
What is 700 pounds?
Posted by Storephin8204 3 years ago
Storephin8204
I just looked it up. It's 700 pounds. Damn.
Posted by Storephin8204 3 years ago
Storephin8204
I just looked it up. It's 700 pounds. Damn.
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