The Instigator
Pro (for)
1 Points
The Contender
Con (against)
11 Points

I can eat more bacon than you

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 3/11/2014 Category: Funny
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,006 times Debate No: 48874
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (2)
Votes (2)




I CAN EAT MORE BACON THAN YOU IALWAYSWINDEBATES!!! you may have been able to eat 12 pigs feet at that christmas party last year but bacon is MY territory! i can swallow 5 pounds of bacon without any lube! and my endurance is unmatched the multiverse over! I HEREBYE CHALLANGE THOU TO THIS DEBATE TO ATTEMPT TO TRY TO PROVE ME WRONG!!!


Haha, very funny that you bring this up because last time I saw you, you could barley scarf down three pieces of Bacon, and scenes last time we fought I've gotten a black hole implanted into my stumic in hopes to consume all of thi food in the world. As well as I've surpassed sir Rice-Chan in the form oh the ultimate move 'Rice Cruncher Buncher Duncher' of which causes all food that goes into my mouth to brake to the molecular level, to then be absorbed into my blood stream. Not only that but I also wield the Fork or Truth and the Spoon of Dexterity (Both are level 99 food eater weapons).
Debate Round No. 1


Do you think I'm so stupid to not Know who REALLY invented the move 'Rice Cruncher Buncher Duncher'?! Of course it wasn't you it was Edgar Allan Poe! Everybodey knows that! I mean who do you think I am? Spongebob? Now you will have to pay copyright infringement fine for saying you invented that move!

Next, the Fork or Truth and the Spoon of Dexterity are SWTOR weapons, this is world of warcraft so they do not apply to this debate. However, I drive Hitler's Volkswagen, a level over 9000 mount that makes me invulnerable to all attacks and creates a feild of electrons with a circumference the size of earth that prevents the use of any 19th century moves (exept in france of course).

And the saddle connects to my stomach via portal gun to my other stomach on romulus that can hold 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 metric crap tons of bacon (1 metric crap ton = 10000000000 regular metric tons).

By the way, after some hard addition, I have summed that after about 5 seconds the amount of bacon (disincluding all the other matter you would be consuming) injected into your bloodstream via black hole would entirely replace your blood stream with bacon molecules. shortly after which the tooth fairy would come and freeze you solid for going over the legal bacon molecules per blood cell set by the galactic federation of planets founded 12 second ago.

NEW RULE TO THIS DEBATE! now every post must include at least 1 fact about maroon 5.

the band maroon 5 was founded in 1994.

your turn IALWAYSWINDEBATES, but i think you will need a new profile name after this...


Yo yo, I know you're wielding that Knife of ever loving D as I am rocking that chalice of harmony, but there is no need to get mad at me on your pro 'sport' W.O.W team. Sorry about that I've been listening to too much Maroon 5, the rhyming just got the best of me.

Next I must bring up the fact that you're wrong the man who invented it was Rice-Chan, and you should now this because YOU ARE HIS SON!!!!! But I was wrong about something its full name is "Rice Buncher Cruncher Duncher Puncher Mc Funcher Lee Duncher Kuncher Basher Tosher Usher Lucher" Now I under stand this is a hard name to comprehend for someone of your level of stupidity. I never said I invented the move I copied it, for no mere mortal such as your self could ever comprehend what I can do with Bacon, every time a signal strip of bacon enters me vicinity I can by thinking implant it into my stomach (or black hole) to then spew it out again, not is we go over the rules set by the ancient elders of Pandarthia 'Thee great bacon eating contest counts for any type of bacon that has ever been eaten by the person for whom no man or women can ever change thee rule) In lame ens' terms no matter what condition the bacon is in, if it is eaten it counts of which includes regurgitated bacon (Going into the black hole and coming out) now imagine if I was doing this with the '999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 metric crap tons of bacon (1 metric crap ton = 10000000000 regular metric tons).' instantaneously! Of which as I type I am.

Did you know that Kara's Flowers was the old name Maroon 5 went by.

(From this point on all people must along with a maroon 5 fact must also put a fact about DBZ)
Debate Round No. 2


I'm surprised that you found out that goku(rice) is my father (i have gone to great lengths to make sure this was kept secret). but, its not unlikely considering he is your grandfather! yes I said grandfather! that means- IALWAYSWINDEBATES, I AM YOUR FATHER!!!!!!

yes it was me all along! that time you saw a shadowy figure during your boxing championship in armenia- IT WAS ME!!!

that redhead with the crossed eyes akwardly standing behind you after your anauguration as president of the moon- IT WAS ME!!!

the informant that told mario you were banging his girlfriend- IT WAS ME!!!(and by the way you were the father)

and i know another thing you don't know! so i won't tell you till the very end! but for now, my rebuttle:

you said that you spewed out the bacon as soo as you think-implant into your stomach/black hole. but my good sir, does that really count as eating bacon? the definition (as laid forth by the ancient elders of Pandarthia) doesn't agree:

"to eateth bacon, trulyeth and even more trulyeth. one must devour it as the dictionary says:
"-to destroy something rapidly and completely be eating"
so the all holy dictionary sayeth, and so it iseth, as long as it is not by means of black hole or dragon ball z moves"

so you see you can't break the rules of the ancient elders of Pandarthia, so your argument is rendered invalid by means of absolute illogicality.(also by the way princess peach is your mom)

maroon 5 has sold 10 million albums in the us so far
DBZ ran from 1989 to 1996


There is no way, you can't...... How is this possible..... You cannot be him.......

I looked back to the elders to get confirmation on my eating style, and they said "By the Power of Grey Skull you're eating style is truly eating for eating is consuming and by consuming you are eating and the fact that de' black hole in your body is in fact a way to eat." And you claim to have been at my Armenian Boxing ring Championship, but I know for a fact, that you were the Irish Belly Dancer plopped in the corner with the stray hookers and gasp smokers. I knew it was you all along, who other than my father would dare travel to the mount of doom, and who would ever dare wrestle a bear with nothing but a single pair of slacks (the pants). You say Princess Peach is my mom but I know, you cheated on her with Zelda, and In fact I am Zelda's child not Peach, and I am not afraid to tell her. (Don't make me call Link)

DBZ: Piccolo is actually only four years older than Gohan. Namekians grow and age much faster than Humans or Saiyans, seeing as how Piccolo was already nearly full-grown by the age of 3.

Maroon 5: The four original members of Maroon 5 met while attending Brentwood School in Los Angeles.
Debate Round No. 3


OK, first of all, do you really think you can just waltz up to the ancient elders of Pandarthia?! it takes YEARS of baby-sacrificing to the aztec god of the underworld Mictlantecuhtli to even get an EMAIL to the all-powerful elders! to get the information from my last argument, i had to tape silver bars to babies and send them back in time to my past self who would then sacrifice them to Mictlantecuhtli who would give an email to the ancient elders of Pandarthia. then after getting it would store it on one of those awful early 2000's thumb drives and bury it along with your sister(lets just say she knew too much about Chernobyl) which i dug up and used in my argument. AND YOUR TELLING ME YOU JUST LOOKED BACK TO GET CONFIRMATION ON YOUR EATING STYLE WITH THE ALL-KNOWING ELDERS OF PANDERTHIA!!!!!!!!!

you might as well accept it, i can eat more bacon than you. you have already put out information that supports my case. you have said that rice is my grandfather, that means i am your father, that means you are my son, that means you are physically smaller than me. so no matter how many seemingly impossible augmentations you put on and in your body(such as a black hole which would by the way eat mostly non-organic matter since the ratio of non-organic matter to organic matter (especially bacon) would be about 10000000000 to 1) I would still be able to fit still more devices on and in ME than you will ever hope to have! "but won't i grow bigger than you eventually?" you ask? NO! it is simply a matter of genetics, i am the child of a burly man and an even more burly woman, so naturally i will be very burly. you however, IALWAYSWINDEBATES, are the child of a bury man (me) and a slender, polite but small woman. it is like how the child of a great dane and a Chihuahua will never be as big as a great dane.

and another thing, i did not cheat on princess peach with zelda-i was planning to marry both of them (i checked it out with them and they loved the idea, although i don't know why) but then the matrix happened and well you know, it changed me so i bailed on ever being in an intimate relationship again. and i don't worry about link that much, i've been trying to avoid him since he tried to join the group marriage(i'm not saying i don't like him, i'm just saying he's not my type).

and i am sure princess peach is your mother, i'm surprised you didn't automatically know by her smell. they say a person can recognize their mother by smell, especially if they breast-feed you, which she did. if you still don't believe me, i have video evidence of you coming out her for you, and video evidence of you going into her for the courts(you sick pervert).

also, that black hole you had implanted in your stomach? its not a black hole at all, ITS A WORM HOLE! all that bacon you've been 'devouring' has really been going into MY mouth! you actually haven't eaten bacon in 6 weeks! whahahaha! now all i have to do is wait for you to either die from lack of bacon or for you to be eaten by me by trying to remove the worm hole but instead triggering its fail-safe device and being transported directly into my stomach on romulus!

i really don't see any hope for you now in this debate IALWAYSWINDEBATES, you should give up now when you have a scrap of dignity left (and before i tell on you about that more-than-one-night-stand with your mom which resulted with half-identical twins of all things!)

Adam Levine is the lead singer for maroon 5

Masako Nozawa was the original japanese voice actor for my father (AKA goku AKA rice AKA your grandfather)

from now on every post must dedicate one sentence to a monarch of your choosing.


Father, for I am ashamed of you, we made a pact seven years ago to never, never! Speak of my sister, you know the truth be hind it all of which you refuse to take into account, for the day I was born, at the same time a demon was brewing in the shadows, you only payed attenchion to me, WHY ME! You should have looked at her more, you could scence the evil spierling off of her, the dark over incombering esscence or evil oh which only two men could compair, those to men being you and your renched dump of a father. You're the one that drove the Elders of 'Panderthia' as you call them (Even though it is spelt Pandarthia) to the edge of insanitity, you drove them to kill their selves to conceal the truth about the fact I can eat more Bacon than you. When you went back in time with your deamon babes of the past children that you bared with your of precious 'Princess Peach', you came to notice all the manuscripts of the Elders were missing, when I said that I went to check in with the Elders it was me reclaiming what was rightfully mine, as I am the heir to the thrown of Pandarthia, the oh so great over watching god. It makes me sad that you would ever concider your self better than me for using the power of Pandarthia I here by banish you to a life time in a mongolian booty camp.

You have the last round to state your case than you will be sentence to life, and Princes Peach will be mine, and only mine. Make sure when you're there to say hi to Sis for me onless ofcouse she kills you first.


DBZ stands from Dragon Ball Z

Maroon 5 is a band.

(Due to time constrictions I cannot write more)
Debate Round No. 4



for the following reasons:
>this is my debate, therefore my universe in which we have debated, so no matter how much you try I will always be right since this is my universe and what I say goes.
>the ancient elders of pandarthia are not real, that is an idea I put into your head as you were writing that post. I would never put that much authority on bacon into one small group of people. I prefer to remain the only authority on bacon, which I am.
>I am not really gustav adolf II, I am morgan freeman, therefore your arguments that I am not the god of this debate are rendered invalid.
>I am also chuck norris, just cause I can.

you put up a decent fight, IALWAYSWINDEBATES, but ultimately you are my plaything. you will never amount to anything more than my plaything, exept maybe a momacon. I mean really, I had nothing to do with that.

however, I am not yet bored with this little game we are playing my plaything. I will start another debate to continue this argument (which is pointless, because any argument you make will be rendered invalid because I am morgan freeman, but I just like to see you struggling for superiority against the strongest force of nature which is me). you will accept, you have no choice in the matter, I will make you do it.

and since I am morgan freeman, I have no reason to follow the rules of this debate, but its fun so I'll do it anyway.

maroon 5 played at Madison Square in 2007

there are exactly 291 episodes of dragon ball z

Nicholas II (of the russian empire) ruled from 1 November 1894 until his forced abdication on 2 March 1917, when the communists led by lennin founded the soviet union of socialist republics.

your move. make it interesting.


IAlwaysWinDebates forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 5
2 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Posted by IAlwaysWinDebates 7 years ago
Saddly I forfeit the last round I hope this doesnt impact my chances of winning.
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by 9spaceking 7 years ago
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Total points awarded:14 
Reasons for voting decision: pigs feet-- ERROR, con ffed last round, but his arguments still make more sense
Vote Placed by CJKAllstar 7 years ago
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Total points awarded:07 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro should have written, "pig's feet", not pigs feet.

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