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Is It Possible To Love More Than One Person At Once?

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/6/2015 Category: Philosophy
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 721 times Debate No: 69553
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (2)
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1. Both of us have agreed on the definition of romantic love: a tender, passionate, and unconditional affection for another person that arouses romantic feelings.

2. People in polygamous relationships can report feeling just as strongly as people in monogamous relationships.

3. There are no restrictions or conditions telling a person who they can or can't love (as in, love is unconditional).

4. Love, like all other emotions, is essentially a chemical reaction in the brain caused by a mixed release of serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. Who a person develops feelings for is beyond their control.

5. Just because a loss occurs (break up, death), and their s/o is no longer present, it doesn't mean the feelings will fade. However, nowhere does it state that the now single individual will never find love again whilst still caring about the person they've lost.

6. Love and relationships themselves are open to the participant's interpretations of their own feelings and not the definitions society imposes upon them.

7. There can be more than one person who you find special.

Claim: Therefore, you are capable of loving more than one person at once.

Premise 1 is non-controversial because it's an agreed-upon definition. Premise 4 is proven by science. Also, unless my opponent can present a list of written rules to disprove #3, I believe that one to remain non-controversial as well.

2. The motives for staying in a relationship can differ for each person.

5. Even though that's what I assume would happen in a situation like that, each person is different and what they decide is up to them.


1. I agree.

2. Depending on whose side you're taking in the polygamous relationship will depend on the way your argument will lean. For example, if there"s one husband and many wives, every wife could be madly in love with the husband while the husband could merely see the wives as companions and may not value them as much as they value him.

3. I agree.

4. I agree with not being able to control who you fall for.

5. Situational. Depends on the person, how they felt prior to, and what happens afterward. Some may not want to "betray" their true love and move on, or others might deny feelings.

6. This is true but sort of confuses me going along with your third claim because technically speaking, a couple could "make" their own rules that only apply to themselves.

7. Yes, but can you love both people equally? Eventually you'll lean towards one person more than the other, and then it becomes betrayal.

8. In terms of young, lonely, or even desperate people, some may put the idea into their head that they're in love or have strong feelings for another person when in reality they just want to tell themselves they feel that way (ex. as a way to grieve a loss or fill an emptiness).
Debate Round No. 1


2. That still doesn't mean the husband doesn't love all his wives equally.

4. With not being able to control your feelings, see below.

5. This is corny, but people say you never really forget your "first true love." If you're marries for 15 years, and your spouse dies in a car crash, of course you're not going to stop loving them because they're gone. They'll still have a place in your heart and you'll think of them every single day. Even so, being alone for the rest of your life doesn't sound too cool. They'd want you to be happy again and if someone comes along who'd treat you right, you'll fall for them while still holding your original lover in your heart.

6. Yes, a couple could make their own rules, but society as a whole doesn't specifically state a person can't love more than one person at a time. And even if that happens, other couples aren't compelled to follow random people's made up prerequisites.

7. When you speak of betrayal, you imply that a relationship is involved. Even disregarding all other types of love, it's completely possible to be single and feel for more than one person at a time. If we're speaking of a couple, I think as long as no cheating occurs within the relationship it's not a huge issue. Just because you love two people doesn't mean you have to be dating two people.

8. You argue a good point there, and I have to agree. Confused and mixed feelings are quite common.

Question: Do you consider loving more than one person at once "emotionally cheating?"


2. The motives for the husband keeping the wives around could be unknown, as well as the wive's motives for sticking with the husband. They could be in it for sex, money, necessities (food/shelter), or for the sake of not being alone along with or even instead of being in love.

5. Who's to say that the feelings for the "first true love" won't fade over time? Of course you miss the person in the moment, but if another comes along who meets your needs and makes you just as happy (if not happier) than the last, your heart may go out to them instead. Not saying you'll forget about your original s/o, but people do move on.

7. To come back at this point and answer your question, yes and no. I do think loving more than one person is emotionally cheating *if* you're in a relationship. It isn't fair to start out loving one person and then begin to give the same affection to another as well when you're already committed unless you've both agreed upon it (see your claim about making rules). However, if you're single and love more than one person at once, it doesn't really matter because you're not giving your all to any one specific individual. Still, when the time comes, one person will rise above the other and feelings will become clear.

8. To elaborate, there can be more complex reasons as to why someone would love more than one person at once. Perhaps they didn't receive enough attention as a child or have some sort of personality disorder which makes them want to reach out to everyone who sparks their interest. Going with these terms, you could even consider it to be a delusion.
Debate Round No. 2


2. A loving relationship isn't based on sex or materialistic possessions. Sex brings people to a high level of intimacy, but is not necessary and in some relationships isn't even desired. People in long distance relationships, or who have partners who serve in the military are able to keep up strong bonds even when being apart for months or even years.
*People who are asexual even detest sex and some are repulsed by the thought.

5. Sure, people move on, but it doesn't mean they won't stop caring. The memories will live on and their new partner may even remind the person of their old.

7. Still, like I've stated above, you can't help who you fall in love with. Emotions are unpredictable and uncontrollable. It's not necessary to act upon those feelings, but regardless they will be there.

8. This is true, and makes me wonder if it's possible to question when love is pure.

I'd also like to add that you can love a person while being in a loving relationship although personally it may not be morally just. Do personal morals play a part in this situation?


2. Not every relationship like that works out. A lot of LDR's fail because the distance becomes too much with lack of physical contact as well as face-to-face interaction. While it's true that sex isn't everything, sometimes Skype calls and text messages just won't do it. As for asexuals, that is true but now we're speaking sexuality, something that isn't chosen or controlled in any way.

5. That being said about physical contact, isn't it a little less romantic and a little more emotional-type love when caring about someone who's gone? You're in love with the memories of them, but technically speaking you'd never be able to hold their hand again.

7. Exactly. They'll be there, and sooner or later, something will click and your brain will tell you who's more important.

Morals are interesting because that's the kind of thing that determines whether someone's going to cheat or not. Their morals will tell them that it's either okay to embrace the feelings or not okay and have them bury the love deep down in their heart. But in my opinion, more often than not, cheating will occur. The person an individual chooses over their partner is the one they subconsciously and truly desire. But if you have good morals, you'll know better than to cheat on your lover even if you accept that you have feelings for another person.
Debate Round No. 3


1. Romantic love: a tender, passionate, and UNCONDITIONAL affection for another person that arouses romantic feelings.

2. Love does not fade simply because one half of the pairing is not present.

3. People can't help who they fall for or the number of people they fall for.

4. There are no rules in relationships, and if there happen to be so they'd be discussed between the partners only.

5. Just because a person has more than one s/o, doesn't mean they don't love them both and love them both equally.

6. Love is generally an abstract concept, and the interpretation is different to everyone.

I stick with my original claim: You are capable of loving more than one person at once.


1. Feelings for people can fade, and a person can "get over" their lost s/o, even if they were convinced they'd never be with anyone else in their life.

2. Some people, depending on what's going on at the time in their life, may tell themselves they love another or are in love with two people when in fact it's just an illusion of love and no true feelings are existent.

3. If not all aspects of a solid relationship are present, the bond could weaken or even fail, also leading to betrayal.

4. There's a reason one is "in love with two people," and out of the two, there's an individual who will be favored and eventually chosen.

5. People in polygamous relationships can be happy without the aspect of romantic love.

While I see some of the points my opponent is trying to make, I still state that nobody can love more than one person at a time.
Debate Round No. 4
2 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Posted by NathanDuclos 3 years ago
I would love to vote on this because this we have this talk all the time, however I disagree with unconditional and your definition. But interesting concept. . . thank you for sharing your views.
Posted by TheSymbiote 3 years ago
Jack ur supposed to be con. Not agree agree agree
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