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PIRATES have more swag on the swagdomitor than ninjas

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 6/28/2014 Category: Funny
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 639 times Debate No: 58276
Debate Rounds (3)
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To open this intriguing argument, i would like to state the absolute truth that pirates have boats and ninjas don't. enough said.

I challenge anyone who thinks they can beat the likes of the amazing BEEZOW_DOO-DOO_ZOPITTYBOP

Profession: PIRATE

For these advanced intellectual reasons that mere mortals can not comprehend. The debate has raged on for millenniums between Elvis Presley. "Pirates or Ninjas?" you may be asked in the hallway. The wrong answer could get you scorned by your peers. But that's silly, we all know you are never wrong. The others though, they don't understand that, so we have to convince them, once and for all, that pirates indeed have far greater swagdomitor points than ninjas.

The Ninja fan might argue that Ninjas have cooler weapons. This is not so. The scimitar used by most pirates frankly shank. There is no argument here: curved blades >>> ninja blades. Sure, some ninjas do use curved blades, and those ninjas are cooler, but they still have nothing on pirates. Another weapon often brought up in this debate is the Chinese throwing star. Those things are pretty cool, but they are cheap as hell. The hook replacing a lost hand is much cooler for several reason. First, you lost your hand. which is pretty smashing. Second, you have to get up close and personal with your victim to use it. That means you can't be a sissy and throw sharp pointy things at enemies from across the room. Pirates also use cannons. Cannons are really great, because they make lots of noise and put big holes in things. Ninjas clearly have nothing on pirates in the weaponry department.

The personality of pirates clearly overshadows that of ninjas. Pirates have a very awesome voice with key phrases such as "Argh!", "Walk the plank!", and "Ye scurvy devil!". Ninjas don't have anything like that. They just have asian accents and talk really fast. Pirates also like to drink. Drinking is good, ask Jirki at 2am! Ninjas have some crazy code of honor where they can't drink.

Now, Ninjas are easily better fighters than Pirates, but that doesn't matter. Pirates don't need to fight. Their goal is to raid boats for cash. They just need to blow stuff up and insult everyone. Ninjas have to spend way too much time in the training phase. When they finally get out, they aren't supposed to start shanking victims with their sissy weapons unless someone threatens them or their honour first. Pirates kick gluteus Maximus all the time for no apparent reason. It's what they do best.

Pirates have many famous people amung their numbers, such as Jack Sparrow, Guybrush, and Captain Blackbeard. Ninjas have Jackie Chan. I don't know about you, but I'd rather hang out with the pirates any day of the week. Jackie's movies are kind of cool, but he's not actually asian he is mexican. And anyone who would meet Jackie over Jack Sparrow obviously has some sever metal disability.

So there you have it ladies and gents. Pirates clearly have the upper hand on ninjas in all situations. Accept no substitute.


I agree that pirates are fairly awesome, though they cannot top ninjas. Ninjas are mysterious, quick and silent. They hide in the shadows, then attack when least expected. Pirates carry foul odors with them and look quite awful, while ninjas, despite how murder can get messy, are far more hygienic. Ninjas are trained to kill, while pirates are sloppy and usually don't make clean kills. Ninjas have a larger variety of weapons, each one extremely unique. Pirates have the simplest and generic weapons.
Debate Round No. 1


BEEZOW_DOO-DOO_ZOPITTYBOP forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2


BEEZOW_DOO-DOO_ZOPITTYBOP forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3
2 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Posted by Anonymous 7 years ago
This seems like an excruciatingly swagalicious argument.
Posted by Anonymous 7 years ago
I cant decide if I have the time..
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