The Instigator
Pro (for)
7 Points
The Contender
Con (against)
28 Points

Rap Battle! Sean Connery vs. Morgan Freeman

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Post Voting Period
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after 5 votes the winner is...
Voting Style: Open Point System: Select Winner
Started: 6/2/2014 Category: Funny
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,567 times Debate No: 55942
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (3)
Votes (5)



I challenge Mikal to a text rap battle! I will be battling as Sean Connery, and Mikal will be battling as God. Voters should vote for the rapper who you find to be the funniest/best raps.

Round 1 is for acceptance

This is my first rap battle, so let's see how this goes.
Debate Round No. 1


Hello, Junior!
You think you are the voice of a generation
But it is more suited to that of a Hanna Barbara animation
You have more freckles than a suburban ginger
You wish you had as much style as my windsor

My name is Bond, James Bond
and manage to get all the blondes
the prom queen is really quite fond
especially to my rock solid wand

Hell, I have Pu$sy Galore
Your foreplay is such a bore
It lulls them right to sleep
and you only made her weep
when you really failed to get deep

The closest you get to getting racy
Is your little small talk when Driving Miss Daisy
I drive around in f*cking sportscars
You wish you had an 8th of my talent in bars

You haven't even spoken and you've been destroyed
Mr. Freeman, it seems that you are now unemployed!


All of you btches better recognize the king
I'm a literal God, I will always reign supreme
Hell I even played God in bruce almighty
Your almost 70 years old, you evolved past whitey tighties

Its funny you brought up the point about being james bond
Your age is your crytponite, you were just a ticking time bomb
It doesn't matter how old I fuking get
Im a negro God, that can take any type of hit.

You've got Sports Cars sean that is all you've got to say?
I'm black btch, my dik is longer 20 x longer than your face
It doesn't matter if you have a Gun
Im freaking God, Im invincible son.

Bring up those women you have sean, its a moot point
I designed their bodies, I know every inch of them, every single joint
I felt them up both mentally and physically
I was literally inside them both literally and spiritually

Your a washed up has been that is eating through straws
I just murdered you btch, you can call it due cause
I made the laws of life, I invented physics, and reality
Your just an old man, I'm God im eternally almighty.
Debate Round No. 2


Hah, like hell you're not God!
If you did, you'd have a better bod
You think you're God based on a Jim Carrey movie
that pretty much proves that your pretty loony

You admit it yourself, I am way more evolved
thanks to me, the Soviet Union was dissolved
That's right, I'm the actual Marko Ramius,
while you spit off facts about Penguins that are rather extraneous

You're a poor replacement for James Earl Jones
You wish you were half the father figure for me as Malone

I can make anything stylish, even the Scottish kilt
It certainly helps that I'm F#cking built

You have no action roles
You're mainly the one that consoles
I am the man everyone looks to
when people want good action to view

Your lack of action extends to your love life
Your mother even admitted to your lack of strife
So head home, and say that you're almighty
But we all know that it's me who's going to be F#cking Aphrodite.


Let me teach you a lesson Mr Connery
God is a metaphorical concept, i don't need a physical body
You evolved out of underwear into fugly diapers
You sht yourself for a job, there is no need to get hyper

You think your hot and built, now that sht is really fukn funny.
Your man tits rival double Ds, people could mistake you for one of your bond hunnies
The fact that I have no action roll, that should put you to shame
They cast me for my voice, and you did such a sht job that they have had 3 more people play james

How much does it suck that my voice gets more rolls than you
Your a washed up prick, that is starting to resemble honeybooboo
Your fat, greasy, and look like a steamed vanilla sht
Your accent is deplorable, your literately are my own personal btch.

Just remember this sean, while you decrepit and dying
I'm still acting in moves, my swag is still vibing.
Your 1 year away from being dead in the grave
I am God btch, get down on your knees and pray

Even If i had the chance, I would not save your soul
I would send you to hell, kick you down that endless hole
Just like your movies, you will eventually be forgotten
I'm you farther btch, look up the word begotten [1]

Debate Round No. 3


It's obvious, Mr. Slaveman, that you need to be taught,
Since God is apparently a concept that you haven't got
If you were God, then there wouldn't be much dispute,
the prophets definitely would have been mute

My man titties come as a result of getting so much in bed
From the sheer embarrassment of this loss, you will be dead.
At least I didn't get titties from men
I think we all know why you'd like to go to Shawshank again

Better start planning your bucket list, Morgan
Because the way you lose is going to be foreign
At least to me, because I never lose,
but you rap like a victim of abuse
And I think that we all know
that's something I encourage for causing great woe

The sum of all your fears add up to me
I'll kick your @ss and f#ck your b!tch, all for free!
It's the end of the line for you, Nelson Mandela
Apartheid is back, no excuse for you to kill another white fella

My evolution is from sailing lad to sexiest man alive
While you have to work your @ss off to even survive
These rhymes have really got you on your knees
That's what happens when you pair me, the OG vs. a monotone sleaze


You just called me a slave, thanks for proving your a racist btch
You can't get something that you are, that sht is absolutely rich.
You say I can't get God, that is an obvious fact
I can't get him because I am him, you are a retarded hack

Did you just say women suck your tits?
Are you a man, or a shameless btch?
don't worry sean my bucketlist is complete
Number 100 was to bury you ten feet deep

The sum of my fears don't add up to you
Fear is in the mind, and my mind is infinitely huge
A god doesn't fear an insignificant piece of trash
Man lard and all, you just got thrashed.

I don't need to survive, because I will exist for eternity
You evolved into a fat btch, that going to be sippin apple juice till hes 130
You look like the pillsburrydoughboy, you could be a living mascot
Light you up with my bars, you know they are hot

Little ole sean just got lit up, he can feel the heat
Just like your racist remark, your lines really weak
I can spit rhymes and freestyle all day long
Kick you in the knee and slap you with my slong

Mushroom stamp your head, and leave a stamp labled "free"
Id finish it with "man", but you let girls suck on your teets.
Man and you can never be in the same sentence.
Your a fat piece of lard and its time you offer penitence.

This battle is over, and its clear who won.
I'm morgran freeman, and I just bodied this bum
Hell people even worship me in their sleep.
This is a memorable day, we just put this fat piece of sht 10 feet deep
Debate Round No. 4
3 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Posted by ESocialBookworm 7 years ago
"I'm morgran freeman, and I just bodied this bum
<ins> Hell people even worship me in their sleep." </ins>

Morgran? Lol..... Nice oxymoron Mikal.
Posted by ESocialBookworm 7 years ago
You guys should do this live one day. It'll be hilarious.
Posted by bladerunner060 7 years ago
These debates are always subjective.

An RFD has to be whichever side we feel did better.

And, surprisingly, I'm going to have to go with Pro on this one.

I think the main contributing factor is the fact that Pro's lines were shorter, particularly in the last 2 rounds--this is rap, and I'm not provided with a beat, so I have to try to kind of make one, I think Con's had trouble with their flow.

I'm surprised (and disappointed) that Con didn't throw in any Zardoz or toupee references--that was GOLD that Con left on the ground. Contrarywise, it's a rap battle and all, but I ALMOST ended up tying the vote thanks to Pro's the "slave" jab; had it been not as part of a pun, I would have, but I'm cutting slack because the play on words was such low-hanging fruit. Also, not a single Trebek joke from Pro? Tsk. All in all, a close battle, but I feel like Pro had this one.

As always, happy to clarify this RFD.
5 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 5 records.
Vote Placed by Saska 7 years ago
Who won the debate:-Vote Checkmark
Reasons for voting decision: Con made me laugh a couple times and his rhymes didn't seem as forced, but well done to both and thanks for an entertaining battle!
Vote Placed by WheezySquash8 7 years ago
Who won the debate:-Vote Checkmark
Reasons for voting decision: Better flow and lyrics by Mikal.
Vote Placed by bladerunner060 7 years ago
Who won the debate:Vote Checkmark-
Reasons for voting decision: RFD in comments.
Vote Placed by Romanii 7 years ago
Who won the debate:-Vote Checkmark
Reasons for voting decision: Pro's rhymes had a slightly better "flow", in my opinion. However, Con made me laugh/snicker noticeably more frequently than Pro, especially in his final round with dat ending. Also, Con successfully asserted that he was God, and I am a good little God-fearing theist, so I am divinely obligated to vote for him. Good effort by both sides. It was close.
Vote Placed by Linkish1O2 7 years ago
Who won the debate:-Vote Checkmark
Reasons for voting decision: in my opinion anyone who plays god, pretty much wins the battle.

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