The Instigator
Pro (for)
0 Points
The Contender
Con (against)
4 Points

Roadkill is flat out wrong. (hehehe)

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Post Voting Period
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after 1 vote the winner is...
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 3/25/2014 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 944 times Debate No: 49801
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (7)
Votes (1)



Roadkill is gross with a capital G.

But I suppose con actually likes slices of furry corpse on the road. Haha, what a loser. Hey everyone, vote for me!

What is roadkill even for? I tried eating it but that didn't work out too well. Here's how I rate roadkill (I did a test for each one):

Appearance: 10/10 (but looks don't matter. Remember, don't judge a book by its cover)
Taste: 0/10
Toilet-cleaning capabilities: 2/10
Softness: 0.25/10
Aerodynamics: 0/10 (It got hit by a bus)
Speed: 0/10
Cartwheel potential: 3/10 (with a 30% margin of error)
Camouflage: 0/10 (I knew where it was)

See? It is rubbish.

Thank you.


Hey, maybe I do like road kill. Don't hate, appreciate.

I mean, the things you can do with a fresh hit deer are amazing. It's like hunting except someone else kills the animal for you so your hands are clean of guilt. Let's just count the benefits:

1) You can hang the rack up in your living room.

2) You can have deer dinner for a month at least.

3) You can make a literal buttload of deer jerky.

4) You can have the satisfaction of putting to use a pointless death.

In terms of taste, I give it an 8/10.

Softness depends on how you cook it.

I also severely disagree with my opponent about toilet cleaning capabilities. You have to put a little work into it! but if you find a dead opossum, there is nothing better for wiping the crap out of a clogged toilet. It already smells like crap to begin with, so smell isn't a problem. It was already dirtier than the crap it's cleaning, so adding the crap is like improving the quality. And you can just throw it in some random forest to dispose of an never worry about it again. It was a free toilet cleaning.

Now onto cartwheel capability, speed and aerodynamics. I'm going to bunch these three together under a specific point of contention: police grade Dodge Chargers. Those things go fast. Like I'm not even kidding. They're not your normal Dodge Charger, or even an above average Charger. Those things are like DA CHARGERS.

Now something about aerodynamics is that it's about the ease of airflow. What's better for airflow than a beaver that got smashed by a bus? And back to the Chargers, cartwheels happen when the dead guys get run over for the second time. They go pretty fast too.

On camouflage:

This all depends on where you find the roadkill. If it's in Kansas obviously it'll stick out because it's the only place where something sitting an inch off the ground sticks out like a sore thumb, but if you're in rural Alabama on a back road, it would be nearly impossible to tell where the roadkill was.

See? It's incredible!

Debate Round No. 1


When some klutz hits an animal in the road, what you should do is just kill yourself to balance out all the karma and ying yang in the universe. Duh.

You can tell that my opponent hasn't really tested roadkill properly. He's probably the type that would be too sissy to do that. City folk, eh? Don't know anything !!

Toilet-cleaning capabilities is a definite no. Besides. JonBonBonBonBon probably doesn't have normal toilets like you or me. He probably craps into Faberg" eggs and sets them alight to dispose of them afterwords, face it, he's not a normal chappy !!

As for all the science, we all know it's not true, but even if it were, it actually confirms whatever I said in round one.

As for camouflage, it was a fair test. I threw it away myself, but I found it again. Roadkill is not good at camouflage.

Thank you.


First I'd like to point out the clear conduct violation. My opponent has addressed me as he, but I am a she. Just because I usually talk like a dude doesn't mean I am a dude. I was born that way, alright? It could be a seven point loss just for intolerance, but I'm not going to advocate that much.

When it comes to roadkill, I think my opponent is kind of being unreasonable. If you want to balance karma, kill the guy or girl that ran over the animal in the first place. That obviously works for the greater good of humanity.

My opponent also makes false attacks on my ability to judge roadkill. Look, I'm not a redneck, but I know how to wipe a toilet with a opossum.

Just don't even.

Have a seat.
Debate Round No. 2


First I'd like to point out a clear conduct violation. JohnBenBen has referred to me as "my opponent", but that's extremely offensive because that's suggesting I belong to him, which I don't . It's the other way round.

If you're in a car that runs over an animal. you should all kill yourselves no matter whether you were driving the car or not. I will use an analogy to explain. At the supermarket, people like to buy a pack of FOX BISCUITS for 80p. Now, they also like 2 for 1 deals, and things like that. Karma and ying yang like 2,3,4,5,6 etc. for 1 deals too! (or something like that)

My little boy now claims I make false attacks on his ability to judge roadkill. He also admits he's not a redneck. Lol, look at that logic. You can ONLY judge roadkill properly if you're a redneck. Duh.

Thank you.

[1] brain (con doesn't seem to have used this)
[2] getting genders right
[3] knowing that KingDebater belongs to nobody oh yeH
[4] wikipedia
[5] uncyclopedia
[6] lemonparty


My opponent is kind of confused, because after my first post, I actually owned him. I still do. His argument is clearly just a spurt of unnecessary confidence that shall be shut down promptly.

Look, when it comes to the whole BOGO bogus, my opponent has got something wrong here. Karma likes things to be one for one and no other way. Like for example, if I cuss out my opponent, karma would enjoy it if I were equally insulted. Clearly I win this whole dealio here.

And my opponent just made a bunch of attacks on me. I'm going to transfer to the karma to the voters giving him a loss of conduct points and possibly a full seven point loss.

It's kind of ridiculous.

Now I have an analogy. My opponent represents the number 24.

What's better than 24?


I represent 25.

As a prophet of the Great MF what I say is truth by transitive property of communication, so I win by default just on those grounds.


The Great MF (that's all I really need)
Debate Round No. 3
7 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 7 records.
Posted by TheRussian 7 years ago
This was the weirdest "debate" I've ever read hahaha
Posted by alexmiller887 7 years ago
i'd debate this one!
Posted by XxRavexX 7 years ago
lol good one XD
Posted by TheRussian 7 years ago
I understand that this is a debating website, but honestly, I don't mind a little humor in my day.
Posted by Jonbonbon 7 years ago
Can I debate you?
Posted by TheRussian 7 years ago
And it was! hahaha, call me immature, but that put a smile on my face.
Posted by JacobAnderson 7 years ago
I bet you thought this was funny, didn't you?
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by Defro 7 years ago
Agreed with before the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
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Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: Conduct goes to con because pro did not counter con's claim that he made a conduct violation. Instead, he responded by claiming that con also violated conduct, which con refuted. Con also effectively addressed every point made by pro, whereas pro didn't for con.

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