The Instigator
9spaceking
Pro (for)
Winning
9 Points
The Contender
TheEpicGlassesGuy
Con (against)
Losing
1 Points

TROLL DEBATE: Jesus Christ Cannot Possibly be Omnipotent

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 4 votes the winner is...
9spaceking
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 6/20/2014 Category: Funny
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 5,365 times Debate No: 56913
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (25)
Votes (4)

 

9spaceking

Pro

Last time, I lose to the mighty CJKAllstar with a half-rigged resolution "God Cannot Possibly be Omnipotent"! I don't like loses, so this time, we do a similar resolution...under troll standards!
Good luck to whoever accepts--and they must use round one to accept only.
You must use troll arguments as do I. Burden of proof is shared, however.
Omnipotent: all powerful, being able to do anything
TheEpicGlassesGuy

Con

I do not accept.

*Just kidding.
Debate Round No. 1
9spaceking

Pro

1. Jesus isn't the exception to everything.
Jesus is white.

Because such he can't possibly be Asain, making him completely out of the category "Mongols".
Mongols are the exception to everything.
http://www.youtube.com...

Based on this logic, Jesus cannot do anything to the Mongols because they are the exception to everything. Furthermore, Jesus cannot possibly be the exception to everything, since he ain't a Mongol.

2. Jesus Christ isn't Luigi
Jesus' name isn't Luigi.
Only Luigi can do absolutely nothing and still win.


Even Patrick agrees.


Since Jesus cannot win by doing absolutely nothing, he isn't omnipotent.

3. Jesus Was on the Cross


Jesus must have been on the cross. It is a proven fact. The guy with the wine glass reported it himself to the cops, thus it must be true.

Since Jesus cannot NOT be on the cross, he isn't omnipotent, as he can't even NOT be on the cross when crucified.

As proved thus, Jesus has a load of stuff he can't do and as a result he isn't omnipotent.
Onto you, con.
TheEpicGlassesGuy

Con

Jesus Was Asian
Jesus was born in Judea which is in Asia and as everyone knows Asian are OP because they can do everything including:

Accounting and Finance

Archaeology

Biodiversity, Animal Health and Comparative Medicine

Business

Cancer Sciences

Cardiovascular and Medical Sciences

Celtic and Gaelic

Central and East European Studies [including: Baltic, Estonian, Hungarian, Lithuanian, Russian, Soviet Studies]

Chemistry

Classics

Comparative Literature

Computing Science

Dentistry

Economic and Social History [including: Global Economy]

Economics [including: Development Studies, Financial Economics]

Education [including: Adult Education, Community Development, Drug and Alcohol Studies, Organisational Leadership, Teaching]

Engineering [including: Aerospace Engineering, Biomedical Engineering, Civil Engineering, Electronics and Electrical Engineering, Mechanical Engineering, Software Engineering]

English Language

English Literature [including: Creative Writing]

French

Geographical and Earth Sciences [including: Geomatics]

German

Health and Wellbeing

Hispanic Studies [including: Spanish]

History

History of Art [including: Textiles]

Infection, Immunity and Inflammation

Information Studies (HATII) [including: Arts & Media Informatics, Computer Forensics & E-Discovery, Information Management & Preservation, Museum Studies]

Italian

Law [including: Intellectual property, Legal Practice]

Life Sciences

Management [including: Entrepreneurship, International Business, Leadership, Marketing]

Mathematics

Medicine

Molecular, Cell and Systems Biology

Music

Neuroscience and Psychology

Nursing and Health Care

Philosophy

Physics and Astronomy

Politics [including: Chinese Studies, Human Rights, International Relations]

Psychology

Russian

Scottish Literature

Sociology [including: Criminology, Global Health, Global Security]

Statistics

Theatre, Film and Television Studies [including: Cultural Policy, Drama, Dramaturgy, Journalism, Media Management, Performance Studies, Playwriting]

Theology and Religious Studies

Urban Studies [including: Housing Studies, Planning, Public Policy, Real Estate, Regeneration, Social Policy]

Veterinary Medicine

Aquatics

Archery

Automobile Racing

Badminton

Base Jumping

Baseball

Basketball

Beach Volleyball

Biathlon

Bobsleigh

Bocce Ball

Body Building

Boomerang

Bowling

Boxing

Bull Fighting

Camping

Canoeing

Caving

Cheerleading

Chess

Classical Dance

Cricket

Cross Country Running

Cross Country Skiing

Curling

Cycling

Darts

Decathlon

Diving

Dog Sledding

Dog Training

Down Hill Skiing

Equestrianism

Falconry

Fencing

Figure Skating

Fishing

Flag Football

Foosball

Football

Fox Hunting

Golf

Gymnastics

Hand Ball

Hang Gliding

High Jump

Hiking

Hockey

Horseshoes

Hot Air Ballooning

Hunting

Ice Skating

Inline Skating

Jai Alai

Judo

Karate

Kayaking

Knee Boarding

Lacrosse

Land Sailing

Log Rolling

Long Jump

Luge

Modern Dance

Modern Pentathlon

Motorcycle Racing

Mountain Biking

Mountaineering

Netball

Paint Ball

Para Gliding

Parachuting

Petanque

Pool Playing

Power Walking

Quad Biking

Racquetball

Remote Control Boating

River Rafting

Rock Climbing

Rodeo Riding

Roller Skating

Rowing

Rugby

Sailing

Scuba Diving

Shooting

Shot Put

Shuffleboard

Skateboarding

Skeet Shooting

Snooker

Snow Biking

Snow Boarding

Snow Shoeing

Snow Sledding

Soccer

Sombo

Speed Skating

Sport Fishing

Sport Guide

Sprint Running

Squash

Stunt Plane Flying

Sumo Wrestling

Surfing

Swimming

Synchronized Swimming

Table Tennis

Taekwondo

Tchoukball

Tennis

Track and Field

Trampolining

Triathlon

Tug of War

Volleyball

Water Polo

Water Skiing

Weight Lifting

Wheelchair Basketball

White Water Rafting

Wind Surfing

Wrestling

Wushu

Yachting

Yoga




http://www.youtube.com...

Jesus ate potatoes
If you split Omnipotent to make omni and potent, potent begins with a P like potato and Jesus ate potatoes which means that Jesus is Omnipotent


Jesus controls the NSA



Jesus owns the NSA and the NSA control everything using a pyramid scheme which means that Jesus controls the world because through the NSA he can do anything, anything.
Debate Round No. 2
9spaceking

Pro

REBUTTALS
1. Judea WAS in Asia. But it's not in the new Asia. Thus every argument concerning what Asains can do is debunked.

THE OLD ASIA WHICH JUDEA IS IN


THE NEW ASIA WHICH JUDEA ISN'T IN
https://www.google.com...

2. Jesus Ate Potatoes
But before he ate any potatoes, he wasn't omnipotent. In fact, he was so stupid that he tried to eat these potatoes...


And he couldn't find the fork in time, and KABOOM!! He blew up. Thus, he couldn't obtain omnipotence because he was blown up beforehand.

3. Jesus Controlling the NSA

See? Julius Sharpe doesn't agree. NSA can't do At and T because "those people can't complete calls". Even if I took your word that Jesus controlled the NSA, he still can't track AT and T.

The argument is refuted, and you have yet to show that Jesus CAN:
-Be the exception to everything
-win by doing absolutely nothing
-Avoid crucification by cross
TheEpicGlassesGuy

Con

TheEpicGlassesGuy forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3
9spaceking

Pro

This is quite unfortunate. My opponent has forfeited.
All arguments extended.
Vote me!
TheEpicGlassesGuy

Con

TheEpicGlassesGuy forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4
25 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 11 through 20 records.
Posted by 9spaceking 7 years ago
9spaceking
SOMEBODY, Counter lovehismom's votebomb!!
Posted by 9spaceking 7 years ago
9spaceking
your RFD is invalid, I can compare Jesus to Luigi however I want; my opponent was racist first, and finally, in troll debates you are supposed to joke around about everything. Even Jesus' crucification
Posted by 9spaceking 7 years ago
9spaceking
and I never said any circumstance where I lose all 7 points. There a no rules, nada. I can do whatever, it's my "freedom of post", and you can't award all 7 points to my opponent. Furthermore, my opponent participated within the debate, and HE was the first one to be racist about Jesus. Seriously? Jesus is Asain, therefore he can do anything an Asain can? Wow, that's SO not racist!
Posted by 9spaceking 7 years ago
9spaceking
WTF man if you didn't like my debate then don't vote on it! >:(
Posted by Loveshismom 7 years ago
Loveshismom
@ 9spaceking, I was fine with the topic of the debate, just not that you made a troll debate about Jesus' omnipotence. If you're going to argue against my beliefs, that's perfectly fine. Just PLEASE don't make fun of them. If I don't like it, I have the right to give you an automatic 7-point forfeit because such posts mean you don't deserve to win the debate.
Posted by 9spaceking 7 years ago
9spaceking
@ lovehismom, you not liking my debate does not mean I auto-recieve a 7 point forfeit. At worst, my conduct is bad.
Posted by Malacoda 7 years ago
Malacoda
Ah, I see. I'll just kick back and watch this one then, sounds entertaining.
Posted by 9spaceking 7 years ago
9spaceking
One of my arguments is going to be how Luigi, and only Luigi can win by doing absolutely nothing, and how Jesus' name isn't Luigi, so he can't win by doing absolutely nothing, and therefore isn't omnipotent.
Posted by 9spaceking 7 years ago
9spaceking
>2071 elo.
Posted by Kc1999 7 years ago
Kc1999
Troll Argument One:

Jesus is Illuminati, and Illuminati is Omnipotent.
4 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Vote Placed by MrJosh 7 years ago
MrJosh
9spacekingTheEpicGlassesGuyTied
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Total points awarded:10 
Reasons for voting decision: Conduct for the forfeiture.
Vote Placed by dsjpk5 7 years ago
dsjpk5
9spacekingTheEpicGlassesGuyTied
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Total points awarded:01 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro misspelled a word.
Vote Placed by ESocialBookworm 7 years ago
ESocialBookworm
9spacekingTheEpicGlassesGuyTied
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Total points awarded:70 
Reasons for voting decision: For a troll debate, I thought Epic had 9space by round 2. Pro's rebuttals were good for R3 but not that hard to refute. All in all, I think, had he finished this debate, Con would have won. However, he left Pro's rebuttals unrefuted and as such, Pro takes the win. Great job to both of you!
Vote Placed by Ajab 7 years ago
Ajab
9spacekingTheEpicGlassesGuyTied
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Total points awarded:10 
Reasons for voting decision: :POOP:

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