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Do Christians Have A Choice?

Willows
Posts: 11,692
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9/6/2018 11:21:02 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
What if you don't want to go to Heaven?

Do you fancy the prospect of watching re-runs of The Simpsons for eternity and visiting relatives literally forever?

Have you thought what it would be like to live a spiritualistic life of self-indulgence for a billion years only to realize that it ain't even a patch on living for eternity?

Christian: Um, Yes so, I have just fallen off the old perch so to speak, Ha, Ha, . . . . . And here is my Christian Platinum Card. If you care to check, Everything is in order so I won't be going downstairs now, Will I?

Customer Service Attendant: Everything is indeed in order and you have accumulated enough points to go straight through to the Elite Club without even going through Purgatory.
Oh, And incidentally, The Hell service is no longer available so, Even non-members get to go to Heaven nowadays.

Christian: What? You mean to say that I have been a goody-goody all my life, Coughing up to charities and left the child-minder alone only to find out that there is no Hell anyway.

Customer Service Attendant: That's right sir. Management felt that Hell was getting too much bad media and stopped using it as a guilt-trip for non-members. Also, I think it was the environmental issue of consuming enormous amounts of fuel to keep the place burning.

Christian: Well that really sucks since I didn't really want to go to Heaven anyway. I just didn't want to go to Hell. . . . . So can you just give me a refund and send me back to Earth and live?

Customer Service Attendant: Let me just scroll down here. . . . . . Oh well, I'm afraid there is no other option available to you sir. . . . . . Heaven it is and, Of course, You have exclusive access to the Elite Club.

Christian: Read my lips angel face. I do not want to go to Heaven. Now, Who the heck is your supervisor because I want to talk to him?

Customer Service Attendant: Geeziz bloody Kerrrrist!

Geeziz Kerrrrist: What the f**k is going on here?

Customer Service Attendant: Geeziz, . . . . This fu. . . . . . . , Um, This customer here has a platinum card and he doesn't want to go to Heaven.

Geeziz Kerrrrist: You f**kin ungrateful bastard. I got myself hammered to a cross to save you lot and this is what I get. . . . Heaven not good enough for diddums, Is it?

Christian: Well, I sure as heck don't want to hang around for eternity watching re-runs of The Simpsons and sharing the same place with the likes of Hitler, For example.

Geeziz Kerrrrist: for your f**kin information, The Simpsons is expected to run for eternity and that Hitler bugger you mentioned is running a very successful franchise up here called Adolf's Bagels.

Christian: Screw religion!

Geeziz Kerrrrist: And screw you too Blue! Grab the mop and bucket over there.

Christian: What for?

Geeziz Kerrrrist: Well, So far as I'm concerned, You can bloody well go to Hell but since there is no Hell now, I'm giving you one Helluva job up here, Cleaning all the sh! Thouses for eternity. . . . Ha, Ha, Ha.

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