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Can We Prove God In Court?

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11/17/2018 3:41:54 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Court Clerk: Case No: U/10/8/IOUS/D1CK, "Does God Exist".
Prosecution Counsel, Mr. Lar Dass.
Judge Wright presiding.

Judge: That's a very Scandinavian-sounding name you have Mr. Prosecutor. What does it mean in English?

Prosecutor: Lard A**e, Your honour.

Judge: Very well. Present your case Mr. Lar Dass.

(Prosecutor plonks his briefcase on the desk)

Judge: No, Lard A**e. What evidence do you have to support your case that this. . . . Er, God exists?

Prosecutor: Ah yeah, Right. . . . .

Judge: "Judge" Wright, If you don't mind.

Prosecutor: Well, Just the fact that you and I are here is all the smoking-gun evidence I need your honour, Since we must have come from somewhere.

Judge: Well I certainly smell no smoke. The fact that we exist does not in any way give anyone the right to make one possibility a default certainty, Does it? Now, Do you have any witnesses, Lard A**e?

Prosecutor: Yes your Honour. I call Dee Ludid, To the witness box. . . . . . . . Mr. Ludid, Explain to the court how you saw God.

Witness: Der, Well er, I got this cheeseburger at Maccas and like I pealed the top off, Coz I like to take my cheeseburgers apart and eat each bit separately, Heh, Heh, Heh. So like I saw Jesus Christ etched in the meat patty. Then, When I went to snap one off the next day. . . . . . . . . .

Judge: What do you mean by "snap one off"?

Witness: You know, Drop the little ones off at the pool, Lay a cable, Coil some rope, Log out, Take the Browns to the super bowl, Release some hostages, Kick the brown clown out of the one ringed circus, Give birth to a politician, Ride the porcelain bus, Take a dump, Deliver a. . . . . . . . . .

Judge: Yes, I get your drift, Now carry on.

Witness: Well, I looked down coz I always like to. . . . . . . . . . .

Judge: Spare us the fine details, Just get on with it.

Witness: There it was again, The image of Jesus Christ and I thought, That was no coincidence.

Judge: I think you must be deluded.

Witness: Yuk, Yep, Last time I looked in the mirror it was me; Dee Ludid.

Judge: No, I mean that YOU ARE deluded.

Witness: Yukkie do. . . . . . . . . Everywhere I go people seem to know me. They say to me, Yes they do, I mean they say to me "You are Dee Ludid" and I say back to them: "Yes brother, I am Dee Ludid and I just want to thank the Lord for another day of living, Hallelujah! "

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