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Losing Your Religion

Willows
Posts: 11,683
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2/18/2019 10:48:57 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
("Dear Willows, I keep getting this great urge to eat a bacon sandwich yet my religion won't allow it. Is this normal and what should I do? ")

Well, Ezra, This is perfectly normal and in fact, We atheists call this part of the "normalization" process; moving away from your religion and becoming normal. You can lose your religion yet still enjoy the food, Friendship and keep going to your wonderful cultural festivals, Like those genital mutilation ceremonies. By the way:

Q: How do you circumcise a whale?
A: First you need to send down four skin-divers.

Anyway, Feel free to chomp down on the swine delicacy although, I wouldn't recommend eating it during a service. The great Aussie adage, "as popular as a pork chop in a Synagogue" will take on quite a literal meaning.

So, Chuck away the religion, Get on down to your delicatessen and bring home the bacon.
Willows
Posts: 11,683
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2/19/2019 11:06:30 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Tradesecret wrote:
It is impossible to lose what you never had in the first place.

Good point there.
Whilst a whale does not have a foreskin as per humans it does have what's called a preputial sheath into which the penis retracts completely so it is really a type of foreskin. . . . No wonder really since those buggers traverse some mightily cold oceans.

So, I think it would take at least four skin divers armed with waterproof chain saws and angle grinders to do the job.
It would be one heck of a bar mitzvah, Don't you reckon?

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