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Interview with a deist...

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2/25/2016 8:55:06 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Host: Hello an welcome to to DDO Interviews, I'm your host Derk Smirkly! Joined with me tonight is a deist. So, deist, what is your name?

Deist: Godof

Host: Godof?

Deist: Godof D. Gaps.

Host: Hello Godof and welcome to the interview! Thank you for coming

Deist: Don't mention it.

Host: So you believe in God, is that correct?

Deist: Yeah. But I don't believe that God intervenes in the universe. Hence, I'm a deist.

Host: Would God give an interview?

Deist: Interviewing is intervening, Derk. God doesn't intervene.

Host: Right. So what convinced you God exists?

Deist: Well, nothing can come out nothing right? So for something to begin existing, it needs a cause, right?

Host: Well I don't know, I've never seen anything come into existence.

Deist: Exactly, so for something to come into existence, it needs a catalyst, right?

Host: Ye, so?

Deist: Well, the universe had a beginning right?

Host: Yes it did

Deist: Well something had to cause it, right?

Host: Right.

Deist: Because anything that begins to exist has a cause!

Host: We've been over this Godof...

Deist: Well, God must have caused the the universe to exist!

Host: So did God cause God to exist?

Deist: God didn't caused God to exist...

Host: Then what caused God to exist?

Deist: Nothing caused God to exist, Derk, God exists in a completely cause-free zone. He's causeless.

Host: So if God is a causeless cause, what causes a causeless cause to cause other things to exist?

Deist: Derk, your simply not understanding! God is a causeless cause, he doesn't need a cause!

Host: But if God is a causeless cause, then why does the universe need a cause? Can't the universe be a causeless cause too?

Deist: But if the universe was a causeless cause, we wouldn't need God.

Host: Right.

Deist: But we do need God because the universe was caused.

Host: By what?

Deist: God. An uncaused cause.

Host: Yes but why the double standard of saying that God doesn't need a cause to exist yet say that the universe needs a cause?

Deist: It's really quite simple Derk, I don't understand why you don't get it.

Host: I'm trying to get it, Godof, but it's very difficult!

Deist: I know that!

Host: Trying to understand you is like trying to get the ungetable!

Deist: Okay, get this: The universe needs a cause because it began to exist. God doesn't need a cause because he didn't begin to exist.

Host: So how do you know tha God didn't begin to exist?

Deist: Because there he didn't get a divine Big Bang! For God to have a beginning, he needs a Big Bang. Everyone knows that to create something, you need to bang it. Therefore, because God remains non-banged, he does not have a beginning!

Host: So God doesn't have a beginning because he's not getting banged?

Deist: That's right.

Host: Well thank you for your time Godof, see you next time!

Deist: My pleasure.

"Evolution proves necessity is the mother of invention" - David Henson

"Calling my atheism a religion, is like calling my non-stamp-collecting a hobby" - MagicAintReal 2016


Matt8800: "When warring men kidnap damsels of the enemy, what do they do?"

Jerry947: "They give them the option of marriage."

Matt8800: "Correct! You won idiot of the year award!"
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2/25/2016 9:29:22 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/25/2016 9:19:20 PM, Peternosaint wrote:
Darn! I thought it was an interview with a dentist.

"Life calls the tune, we dance."
John Galsworthy