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Our Suspicions Are Often Unwarranted

s-anthony
Posts: 3,462
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5/26/2018 6:55:38 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Being suspicious of the intentions of others, suspecting ulterior motives for the good things which they do does not encourage good behavior, but rather discourages it. By suspecting ulterior motives for the good things which they do, we are hesitant to show appreciation for fear of being taken for granted. We fear our appreciation for things which we believe are being used to manipulate us only encourages the behavior. However, by being depreciative of the good things which others do for us, we do indeed discourage their good behavior.

Once we've discouraged their good behavior, not feeling appreciated, they begin to feel used. Feeling used, they no longer make themselves available; our suspicions cause others to become jaded.

Instead of realizing we have abused their kindnesses, we suspect they are disappointed because they were not able to manipulate us; and, by this, we feel vindicated.

However, our suspicions are hardly ever justified. Just as we suspect others of ulterior motives, they suspect us, also, of ulterior motives. However, even acting untowardly, we justify ourselves by imagining we have dealt evenhandedly or we had good intentions. Therefore, it would go to reason, if we act kindly...more often than not, we have good intentions; and, if we have good intentions for doing so, why do we suspect others have evil intentions?

I am not so naive to believe all motivations for good behavior are transparent; indeed, there are occasions we do things for manipulative reasons; but, even during those times, we feel as though we are justified.

However, for most people, most good acts are motivated by good intentions. We wish to please others, not to bait them into doing something they'd rather not do and consequently risk them feeling as though they were used, but so they may in turn appreciate us. If most people wish to feel appreciated, then, most people wish to please others.

It is, only, those people for whom we have no appreciation whom we seek to manipulate.
FanboyMctroll
Posts: 6,352
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5/28/2018 12:51:59 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/26/2018 6:55:38 PM, s-anthony wrote:
Being suspicious of the intentions of others, suspecting ulterior motives for the good things which they do does not encourage good behavior, but rather discourages it. By suspecting ulterior motives for the good things which they do, we are hesitant to show appreciation for fear of being taken for granted. We fear our appreciation for things which we believe are being used to manipulate us only encourages the behavior. However, by being depreciative of the good things which others do for us, we do indeed discourage their good behavior.

Once we've discouraged their good behavior, not feeling appreciated, they begin to feel used. Feeling used, they no longer make themselves available; our suspicions cause others to become jaded.

Instead of realizing we have abused their kindnesses, we suspect they are disappointed because they were not able to manipulate us; and, by this, we feel vindicated.

However, our suspicions are hardly ever justified. Just as we suspect others of ulterior motives, they suspect us, also, of ulterior motives. However, even acting untowardly, we justify ourselves by imagining we have dealt evenhandedly or we had good intentions. Therefore, it would go to reason, if we act kindly...more often than not, we have good intentions; and, if we have good intentions for doing so, why do we suspect others have evil intentions?

I am not so naive to believe all motivations for good behavior are transparent; indeed, there are occasions we do things for manipulative reasons; but, even during those times, we feel as though we are justified.

However, for most people, most good acts are motivated by good intentions. We wish to please others, not to bait them into doing something they'd rather not do and consequently risk them feeling as though they were used, but so they may in turn appreciate us. If most people wish to feel appreciated, then, most people wish to please others.

It is, only, those people for whom we have no appreciation whom we seek to manipulate.

Very deep, I agree with you for the most part, BUT there are also evil people out there and suspicions are, our defense mechanism
s-anthony
Posts: 3,462
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5/28/2018 2:13:29 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/28/2018 12:51:59 PM, FanboyMctroll wrote:
At 5/26/2018 6:55:38 PM, s-anthony wrote:
Being suspicious of the intentions of others, suspecting ulterior motives for the good things which they do does not encourage good behavior, but rather discourages it. By suspecting ulterior motives for the good things which they do, we are hesitant to show appreciation for fear of being taken for granted. We fear our appreciation for things which we believe are being used to manipulate us only encourages the behavior. However, by being depreciative of the good things which others do for us, we do indeed discourage their good behavior.

Once we've discouraged their good behavior, not feeling appreciated, they begin to feel used. Feeling used, they no longer make themselves available; our suspicions cause others to become jaded.

Instead of realizing we have abused their kindnesses, we suspect they are disappointed because they were not able to manipulate us; and, by this, we feel vindicated.

However, our suspicions are hardly ever justified. Just as we suspect others of ulterior motives, they suspect us, also, of ulterior motives. However, even acting untowardly, we justify ourselves by imagining we have dealt evenhandedly or we had good intentions. Therefore, it would go to reason, if we act kindly...more often than not, we have good intentions; and, if we have good intentions for doing so, why do we suspect others have evil intentions?

I am not so naive to believe all motivations for good behavior are transparent; indeed, there are occasions we do things for manipulative reasons; but, even during those times, we feel as though we are justified.

However, for most people, most good acts are motivated by good intentions. We wish to please others, not to bait them into doing something they'd rather not do and consequently risk them feeling as though they were used, but so they may in turn appreciate us. If most people wish to feel appreciated, then, most people wish to please others.

It is, only, those people for whom we have no appreciation whom we seek to manipulate.

Very deep, I agree with you for the most part, BUT there are also evil people out there and suspicions are, our defense mechanism

Thank you.

I agree. There are evil people who I believe do not care about the opinions others have of them, whether good or bad; and, I believe, for the most part, if not entirely, these people are psychopaths.

However, I believe most of us, even egomaniacs, want to feel appreciated; and, we know by displeasing others that's not going to make them appreciate us. I believe problems arise once we become suspicious of each other. The most evil tyrant lives in paranoia of his own people. He doesn't feel appreciated by the people he's oppressing; he feels suspicious of their intentions; he lives for the most part in a constant state of fear.

However, I believe for the very fact evil tyrants are egomaniacs they are starving for appreciation; and, being they do not feel appreciated, they are suspicious of their own people; it is suspicion of the intentions of others which causes us to not only become unappreciative, but also defensive. If we honestly believed others had good intentions, we would not be suspicious of them, but rather appreciative of them. I believe most of us want to feel appreciated by others; consequently, I believe most of us want to please others. However, as we doubt the motivations of others, they doubt ours; distrust does more to make the world an evil place than anything else.
FanboyMctroll
Posts: 6,352
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5/28/2018 5:20:16 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/28/2018 2:13:29 PM, s-anthony wrote:
At 5/28/2018 12:51:59 PM, FanboyMctroll wrote:
At 5/26/2018 6:55:38 PM, s-anthony wrote:
Being suspicious of the intentions of others, suspecting ulterior motives for the good things which they do does not encourage good behavior, but rather discourages it. By suspecting ulterior motives for the good things which they do, we are hesitant to show appreciation for fear of being taken for granted. We fear our appreciation for things which we believe are being used to manipulate us only encourages the behavior. However, by being depreciative of the good things which others do for us, we do indeed discourage their good behavior.

Once we've discouraged their good behavior, not feeling appreciated, they begin to feel used. Feeling used, they no longer make themselves available; our suspicions cause others to become jaded.

Instead of realizing we have abused their kindnesses, we suspect they are disappointed because they were not able to manipulate us; and, by this, we feel vindicated.

However, our suspicions are hardly ever justified. Just as we suspect others of ulterior motives, they suspect us, also, of ulterior motives. However, even acting untowardly, we justify ourselves by imagining we have dealt evenhandedly or we had good intentions. Therefore, it would go to reason, if we act kindly...more often than not, we have good intentions; and, if we have good intentions for doing so, why do we suspect others have evil intentions?

I am not so naive to believe all motivations for good behavior are transparent; indeed, there are occasions we do things for manipulative reasons; but, even during those times, we feel as though we are justified.

However, for most people, most good acts are motivated by good intentions. We wish to please others, not to bait them into doing something they'd rather not do and consequently risk them feeling as though they were used, but so they may in turn appreciate us. If most people wish to feel appreciated, then, most people wish to please others.

It is, only, those people for whom we have no appreciation whom we seek to manipulate.

Very deep, I agree with you for the most part, BUT there are also evil people out there and suspicions are, our defense mechanism

Thank you.

I agree. There are evil people who I believe do not care about the opinions others have of them, whether good or bad; and, I believe, for the most part, if not entirely, these people are psychopaths.

However, I believe most of us, even egomaniacs, want to feel appreciated; and, we know by displeasing others that's not going to make them appreciate us. I believe problems arise once we become suspicious of each other. The most evil tyrant lives in paranoia of his own people. He doesn't feel appreciated by the people he's oppressing; he feels suspicious of their intentions; he lives for the most part in a constant state of fear.

However, I believe for the very fact evil tyrants are egomaniacs they are starving for appreciation; and, being they do not feel appreciated, they are suspicious of their own people; it is suspicion of the intentions of others which causes us to not only become unappreciative, but also defensive. If we honestly believed others had good intentions, we would not be suspicious of them, but rather appreciative of them. I believe most of us want to feel appreciated by others; consequently, I believe most of us want to please others. However, as we doubt the motivations of others, they doubt ours; distrust does more to make the world an evil place than anything else.

+1, totally agree with you, good analysis.
s-anthony
Posts: 3,462
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5/28/2018 5:32:43 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/28/2018 5:20:16 PM, FanboyMctroll wrote:
At 5/28/2018 2:13:29 PM, s-anthony wrote:
At 5/28/2018 12:51:59 PM, FanboyMctroll wrote:
At 5/26/2018 6:55:38 PM, s-anthony wrote:
Being suspicious of the intentions of others, suspecting ulterior motives for the good things which they do does not encourage good behavior, but rather discourages it. By suspecting ulterior motives for the good things which they do, we are hesitant to show appreciation for fear of being taken for granted. We fear our appreciation for things which we believe are being used to manipulate us only encourages the behavior. However, by being depreciative of the good things which others do for us, we do indeed discourage their good behavior.

Once we've discouraged their good behavior, not feeling appreciated, they begin to feel used. Feeling used, they no longer make themselves available; our suspicions cause others to become jaded.

Instead of realizing we have abused their kindnesses, we suspect they are disappointed because they were not able to manipulate us; and, by this, we feel vindicated.

However, our suspicions are hardly ever justified. Just as we suspect others of ulterior motives, they suspect us, also, of ulterior motives. However, even acting untowardly, we justify ourselves by imagining we have dealt evenhandedly or we had good intentions. Therefore, it would go to reason, if we act kindly...more often than not, we have good intentions; and, if we have good intentions for doing so, why do we suspect others have evil intentions?

I am not so naive to believe all motivations for good behavior are transparent; indeed, there are occasions we do things for manipulative reasons; but, even during those times, we feel as though we are justified.

However, for most people, most good acts are motivated by good intentions. We wish to please others, not to bait them into doing something they'd rather not do and consequently risk them feeling as though they were used, but so they may in turn appreciate us. If most people wish to feel appreciated, then, most people wish to please others.

It is, only, those people for whom we have no appreciation whom we seek to manipulate.

Very deep, I agree with you for the most part, BUT there are also evil people out there and suspicions are, our defense mechanism

Thank you.

I agree. There are evil people who I believe do not care about the opinions others have of them, whether good or bad; and, I believe, for the most part, if not entirely, these people are psychopaths.

However, I believe most of us, even egomaniacs, want to feel appreciated; and, we know by displeasing others that's not going to make them appreciate us. I believe problems arise once we become suspicious of each other. The most evil tyrant lives in paranoia of his own people. He doesn't feel appreciated by the people he's oppressing; he feels suspicious of their intentions; he lives for the most part in a constant state of fear.

However, I believe for the very fact evil tyrants are egomaniacs they are starving for appreciation; and, being they do not feel appreciated, they are suspicious of their own people; it is suspicion of the intentions of others which causes us to not only become unappreciative, but also defensive. If we honestly believed others had good intentions, we would not be suspicious of them, but rather appreciative of them. I believe most of us want to feel appreciated by others; consequently, I believe most of us want to please others. However, as we doubt the motivations of others, they doubt ours; distrust does more to make the world an evil place than anything else.

+1, totally agree with you, good analysis.

Thank you.

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