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DDOlympics Team Fanfic: Mean Girls

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9/19/2016 3:59:33 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
By 7th, Skep, bossy, and kind of thett

Here it is. DDO High School. This is the big leagues. Until now, I"ve spent most of my time at CreateDebate and edeb8, so who knows what could happen. Back at CreateDebate, there were no rules. We all got to chill out, argue, and have a good time. When I transferred to edeb8, It was ruleapalooza. You could hardly go twenty seconds without the principal threatening to expel you for some reason or another! But here at DDO, I"ve heard their principal is not only cool, but black. Right now I"m about to head to my first class, something called mafia strategy. The teacher, Mr. FourTrouble, seems pretty cool. Let"s see how this goes.

YYW: You shouldn"t sit there.
Me: I"m sorry, what?
bsh1: TBR"s boyfriend brontoraptor sits there. He farts a lot.
Me: Oh, thanks.
YYW: Come sit by us. My name"s YYW, and this is bsh1. We"ll show you around during lunch, e.g., help you get settled into the new school.

The class passed without event, excepting the brief moments when Principal Airmax popped in. Much to my surprise, there was a Star of David necklace dangling below his noticeably white face. I wondered where all the rumors about his race came from.

Airmax: What up playas. No G, I don"t give a fvck how long, can wear one grill to hisself and another to the squad, without getting confuzzled about which one he reppin fo real.

Some mysteries will never be solved.

Finally, the bell rang. As we were packing up, bsh1 and YYW were getting into a small argument.

bsh1: It"s pizza day, right?
YYW: No, it"s taco tuesday.
bsh1: Do we have taco tuesdays here every week? I thought it was every other week last year.
YYW: Drop it. You know that I"m right, and everyone else here knows that I"m right, etc. I am objectively correct, and with regards to the extent that you disagree with me, you are objectively incorrect.
bsh1: Calm down. Let"s just agree to disagree.
YYW and bsh1, simultaneously: lol...

At this point we were getting to the lunch room.

YYW: So, the cliques here are crazy. You wouldn"t expect that, since it"s a debate website, but here we are. Those guys over there are the poll users. They keep to themselves, although sometimes they"ll talk to the rest of us. Mostly harmless, but kind of dumb. Next we have the hardcore debaters. Most of them graduated last year, which is why almost none of their seats are filled. Over there are the mafia players. When they first join the mafia club, it"s just a hobby, but eventually it takes up all of their activity. The guys over there are Ajab denny, and defro. No one"s really sure why they hang out together.
bsh1: Look who just showed up.
YYW: Ugh, let"s spare 7th for now, he just got here, he doesn"t need to meet the trolls.
bsh1: Wow, very hostile. Is this because thett spread that rumor that you"re a-
7th: What"s going on? Who are those three, and why are there protesters?
YYW: Those, 7th, are the Plastics. You see the one reading the Journals of Ayn Rand with fountain ink all over his face? That"s bossyburrito, a massive AnCap. I suspect he only tries to be accepted by them in order to spite me. Next to him, the one drinking wine and discretely sliding a plant into his jeans? None other than Skepsikyma, known around here for keeping the religion club in check. And finally, the queen bee. Thett3.... How do I even begin to explain thett3?

Mikal: thett3 is flawless.
Raisor: I hear his Flame War Hall of Fame is insured for 10,000 Raisor Rubles.
Joey: He"s 10x more modest than anyone else here, and that"s a fact.
Romanii: His favorite movie is either Mean Girls or The Notebook.
whiteflame: One time he beat me in a debate. It was awesome.

BSH: She always looks fierce. She always wins DDO President.
YYW: Who cares?
BSH: I care. Every year, the moderators make this election thread for the members called =***DDO Presidential Election Voting***=. and whomsoever is elected DDO President and Vice President automatically becomes head of the Debaters Activities Committee. And since I am an active member of the Debaters Activities Committee, I would say, yeah, I care.
YYW: Wow, bsh, you've truly out-gayed yourself.

I went to get my lunch, and it turned out bsh1 and YYW were both wrong. They were serving chicken tendies today, which I instinctively knocked out of the lunch lady"s hand. My two friends went ahead without me, but I knew where they"d be sitting. After helping clean up, I began to walk over to our table. It was then that I had a strange encounter right by the Plastics" table.

Gega: Hey, we"re doing a survey of new students, do you have time for a few questions?
Me: Um, okay.
Gega: Have you been uncucked? Would you like us to assign someone to uncuck you?
Me: What?
Thett: Is he bothering you? Gega, why are you such a failtroll?
Gega: I"m just being edgy!
Skep: We were supposed to go on a romantic helicopter ride last night.
Thett: Gega. You do not come to a Trump party at my house with Skep and then try to clumsily redpill some normie in front of us two days later. He"s not interested. (to me) Do you want to kill all the dindus and liberals?
Me: What!? No!
Thett: Good, that"s settled. (to Gega) You can go bleach your skin and hair now.
Gega: Bitch
Thett: Wait, sit down. Seriously, sit down. Why don"t I know you?
Me: I just moved here from edeb8.
Thett: What?
Me: I was on CreateDebate before that.
Thett: Wait, what?
Me: It"s this other debate site"
Thett: No, no, I know what edeb8 is, I"m not retarded. So you"ve actually never been to a real debate site before? Shut up. Shut up!
Me: I didn"t say anything"
Thett: Createdebate and edeb8" that"s really interesting.
Me: Thanks!
Thett: But you"re, like, really edgy.
Me: Thanks!
Thett: So you agree
Me: What?
Thett: You think that you"re really edgy?
Me: Oh, I don"t know.
Thett: Oh my God, I love your sig, where did you get it?
Me: Airmax made it for me.
Thett: It"s so adorable!
Skep: That"s so fash!
Thett: What"s fash?
Skep: Oh, it"s slang, from, like, the alt right.
Bossy: So if you"re from edeb8, why don"t you agree with the NAP?
Skep: Oh my God, Bossy, you can"t just ask people about the NAP!
Thett: Could you give us some privacy for, like, one second?
Me: Yeah, sure.
*intense whispers*
Thett: Okay, you should just know that we don"t do this a lot, so this is like a really huge deal.
Skep: We want to invite you to join our PM for a week.
Me: Oh, it"s okay...
Thett: Great, I"ll send the invite!
Bossy: This week, we"re doing Blake"s 7 avatars.
Stooge the Worst



"bossy r u like 85 years old and have lost ur mind"

"I've honestly never seen seventh post anything that wasn't completely idiotic in a trying-to-be-funny way."

"SeventhProfessor is actually a surprisingly good poster."
Posts: 6,568
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9/19/2016 11:24:13 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Part 2:
Part 3:
Stooge the Worst



"bossy r u like 85 years old and have lost ur mind"

"I've honestly never seen seventh post anything that wasn't completely idiotic in a trying-to-be-funny way."

"SeventhProfessor is actually a surprisingly good poster."

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