In a relationship begun by a Teleiophile; is it the adult's fault? Keep in mind films like Hard Candy & The Crush exist for reasons.

  • The problem lies in "power":

    What you define as "Fault" is actually considered to be "Power". It is not even in contest that younger people tend to chase after and fantasize more about people who meet certain social standards without completely being able to understand what they seek through both inexperience and a lack of developmental maturity.

    The condemnation of the adult rests with their having full mental faculty, or greater mental faculty in the case of those who are not full developed, and the presentation of reasoning on their part and the ability to possibly recognize the failures and shortcomings of their peers. Often it is said "They act so mature" but that does not actually instigate that they are neurologically more mature than their counterparts which is where the problem rests as the actuality means more than the perception.

    To say that the younger person has the greater amount of power is false on all fronts whether it be experience or capability and agency from a neurological, emotional, or (usually) monetary vantage point. Generally speaking the ability for the adult to abuse this power is far greater in contrast to other forms of relationships.

  • Choice should always be considered...

    A Teleiophile; which is defined as a younger individual attracted to a much older one, why is it always the Adults responsibility?

    If say, an 18 year old wanted to date a 32 year old regardless of the situation (Male - Female Female - Male) why is the adult condemned?

    I, myself started dating a 27 year old girl when I was 17.

    My parents lost their minds and forced me to break it off. I loved her, like well and truly Loved her. So why was it, that in spite of this fact my parents told me (And I quote my mother on this) "There must be something really wrong with her mind to want to date a seventeen year old!"

    Personally I feel It should not matter if both are truly consenting with out coercion.

    As I said, Keep in mind films like Hard Candy & The Crush exist for a reason.

    I know Hard Candy was in an effort to catch a suspected pedo and rapist however, she DID go out of her way to integrate herself into his life in an effort to entice him first.

  • If it genuinely is started in this way.

    I think it is important to realize that not all these cases are so simple. There are times when an adult will say that the younger person started the relationship and the younger will corroborate. But this is done due to influence and power.

    If on the other hand this was genuinely the younger persons choice, then there is no blame then its completely OK. I suppose the biggest problem is how old is the younger person.

  • Teleiophiles have a right to love who they love, too.

    I am a teenage girl, only attracted to 20s and 30s. It makes me sick when people tell me to like someone my own age. Liking someone is not a choice, loving someone is definitely not a choice. I wasn't molested, I don't watch tons of porn, there's nothing wrong with me whatsoever. I just find more mature people attractive. I hope someday to find someone to be with that will accept my age, and not love me just based off of that. If I love them and they love me, what is wrong with that relationship? Its not rape if I consent. Consent shouldn't be based off or age.

  • Its just complicated...

    First, let me say this. I'm female, soon to be seventeen. I've been in three past relationships, where the other persons have been older than myself.

    21, 22, and one that recently turned 18 while we were still dating.

    The 21 year old and the 22 year old didn't pursue a relationship with me. I pursue, flirted, hinted, blah-blah. I've always acted mature for my age. Also, I am this way mentally majority of the time. I've been attracted to older guys since my turning of 15. Or possibly, younger. (How shocking!...) Boys my own age just weren't on my level yet. And why should I lower myself?

    The relationships were normal, or REALLY to say nothing really happened. We were more enjoying each other's company, than doing what mostly ALL society thinks would happen. (FYI, I'm still a virgin :D )

    But, now, moving from my stories... Honestly, a percent teen teleiophiles aren't delusional. We have brains to think clearly, not just reproductive organs. (But what is kinda 'funny' ironic is how some young people online will write their own fantasies with their BRAINS about favorite OLDER celebrities -Justin B, 1D, Kim K., Emma Stone, etc- doing 'things' to their reproductive organs. Are we not going to address that? Just because its a fantasy, not something attainable ?)
    Not all people of the adult age are seeking to take advantage of a young person. Sometimes, it could be the other way around. Not all kids stay innocent minded into their teen ages. If the underage person knows the law and still tries to make a romantic relationship and is trying to do 'adult' acts, then all blame and fault can't be put on the adult. Why couldn't there be something 'wrong' with the young person?
    (But society passes a blind eye, and nothing is wrong with the young person. Right?)

    (Also, one more thing. How would this situation differ if the adult in the relationship was mental ill or challenged, or even blind? Would fault be put then?)

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