Is it a good idea to get married to someone you've never had sex with?

Asked by: jwbrowdy
  • It's not a bad idea, at any rate, as true sexual problems that can't be worked through are quite rare.

    Yes, sex is certainly a huge part of a romantic relationship especially one boast the commitment level of marriage. But the fear that sexual incompatibility will arise has very little basis in fact. The assumption that sex must be perfect the first time is silly. Immediate sexual compatibility does not necessarily mean the best sexual compatibility, and part of the sexual experience is learning and growing with the wants and needs of each other. To say this must be developed prior to marriage cheapens the commitment of marriage. Some studies have shown that those who wait for marriage to have sex report significantly happier sex lives. I'm sure there are studies that contradict that, but it seems that for a good deal of those who wait they are still very happy "in the sack". Many sex therapists feel that sexual incompatibility is a myth and more of a lack of desire to work at something and very rarely an actual physical/emotional problem. So to state the inverse of this question, that it is a bad idea to not have sex before marriage, really has no foundation.

  • It Certainly Can Be

    Part of the reason many more marriages end in divorce now than in the past is because people place too much emphasis on sex and the physical aspects of a relationship rather than on getting to know and love your partner as a person. While it may not be the best thing for everyone, many people don't have sex until they are married, and several studies have shown their divorce rates are MUCH lower than America as a whole.

  • Never really had any sex

    I'm nearly 70 years old and only had sex a couple of times. The man I married hated sex any kind of sex, he believes the act of sex is disgusting and gross. He could never understand why humans do something so gross. He never had sex before marriage, and had no interest in starting. We did have sex twice because I thought if he experienced it maybe change his mind. It made things worse and he just crawled deeper in to thelp hole he created
    We are now property mates, we share the property we live on. We never interact or talk to each other in I live in house and he lives in the basment or the garage. I should have left him years ago but I didn't, major mistake now I'm to old to change or move on. So it's been 45 years of a horrible marrage and it will end that way.

  • Personally, I believe the notion of 'waiting till marriage' is outdated

    In today’s society (particularly in the media), sex has mostly negative connotations and some people still hold to the archaic idea that those who have sex before marriage are ‘cheap’ and ‘easy’. Such people need to realise that sex isn’t limited to a quickie in the club toilets with someone you met twenty minutes ago; if it’s between two people who are in a relationship and care about each other, it can be an intimate and meaningful experience. I would even go so far as to say that it’s necessary to have sex with a partner before you marry them, to ensure that you are sexually compatible. You may get along famously outside the bedroom and then find that there’s no sexual chemistry between you- and surely it’s better to know before you have a ring on your finger! Plus, if you wait until your wedding night to have sex for the first time that puts a tremendous amount of pressure on both parties, which could cause problems in the long and short term.

  • Marrying a Partner With Whom You Have Not Had Sex is a Bad Idea

    No, it is not a good idea to get married to a partner with whom you have never had sex. Sexuality is a very large part of a relationship. To have never experienced this part of the relationship prior to marriage can lead to many problems during the marriage itself.

  • No you shouldn't.

    Of course this shouldn't be legislation, but sex is an important part of sharing oneself with another. I understand saving sex until you truly trust the other person, but there are points before marriage where trust should be enough to have sex. In my opinion, if you won't have sex after a prolonged relationship, even without the actual marriage contract, your a prude..

  • You don't know what 'she' is hiding

    If you get my drift. That woman could be hiding a *cough* secret that you don't know about. Yep, if you haven't had sex with her how do you know what her genital parts she has? There are a lot of transgendered people out there! Perhaps not all of them are easy to spot. Something to think about.

  • Marriage is too important to mess up

    A couple should fully trust and accept one another before they promise to always be there for each other. They need to know as much as they can find out about each other before they take that step. Couples could suffer a lifetime of shame and guilt and pain that might come from a disastrous sexual mismatch.

  • I wouldn't advise it

    If you want to wait til marriage for whatever reason thats fine, but i would highly recommend having sex with someone before you marry them. You've got to try it before you buy it. Making sure you are sexually compatible is wise, and I personally would never marry someone I've never had sex with.

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