If everyone chose not to have children , then humanity would cease to exist and i think for the stress that parents and grandparents experience raising their own children, i think that the next generation need to understand true unselfishness, which you can only understand once you sacrifice your life for your child
Top arguments of most that do not want children:
1.) I get to do whatever I want and don't have to worry about taking care of some needy child.
2.) I just don't want them
3.) Too many people in the world
Counter: How is this not selfish? Isn't this the very definition of selfish? By contrast, having a child puts you in a position to take care of another human being, in a parental role, where as you are responsible for someone other than yourself. You are responsible for someone who is helpless without you (until a certain age of course). You are the #1 role model in this human's life and mold them into the person they will become. So, becoming a parent that takes full responsibility for the child, and doesn't pawn the kid off to everyone else, doesn't neglect their responsibilities, and who grows as a person is definitely the less selfish option.
What is our role as a species? To prolong and make better the future of our own. People that don't want children are simply not progressing in maturity, most likely due to the many distractions our society has to offer. Why have kids when you can party all night, go to college until you're 30 or older on student loans, and have sex with random partners without really ever, truly committing to someone else? This debate needs to touch on the erosion of the traditional family due to a tragic decline in morals and common decency.
It seems the crowd that supports not wanting children at all costs also supports more progressive, liberal points of view that include the LGBT movement, abortion rights, and so on. This crowd is also usually the least successful (income wise), uses the most drugs, and has more casual affairs than the supporters of traditional families.
Do I think not wanting kids necessarily makes you a bad person? Not bad, but definitely immature and selfish. It is obvious that people that have families end up living more for others, than themselves, in most cases. It is true that some have kids out of wedlock, on accident, and even under the influence of drugs. These people are more of the crowd that is against traditional, conservative principals that have kids out of necessity, because of an accidental circumstance. However, even some drug addicts see the light after they have a child, and turn their ways around. The single, childless drug addict can continue on until they OD, more often than the drug addict who has something else motivating them.
This site's "debates" are pretty weak. Most of these people debating the subject don't even know what a debate is and type like uneducated nitwits.
When you look at articles, most of the reasons women cite for not wanting kids include things like "it would bring too much money stress" or "I can't picture myself being a mom" or "I don't want to change my sleeping schedule." That is selfish to me. Ask any mother, and she'll tell you yes, having kids is hard, but it's the most fulfilling job in the world.
If you can afford a child, then yes you should really have as many as you can. This is because not only do families increase stability (it gives people something to do not revolving around hedonism or materialism for once) of a society, but they represent continuity. If we rely on migrants to fill in our demographic gaps, not only will the native population be resentful, but the nation will loose its legacy and character. And identity will be squandered and replaced with nothing but subgroups and division.
I plan to have three children, because I know with the strain on the safety net and the crowd of people who ARE having children, I cannot any longer rely on the public purse to come to the rescue thanks to all these childless couples who will grow old and not have any children to pay for their retirement,
The system only works to its fullest extent when EVERYONE makes a sacrifice. No sacrifice, no stability and no thriving, long - term society. Its that simple.
The people on the no side who don't want kids are wasting their potential (assuming they can afford them). The dedication they say having children requires (and they would have to put in) means that they may be great parents if they decide to procreate, and for once, children raised by educated, middle class professionals may one day become a majority of births (imagine what rational and level headed society that would create).
Plus, the state should do more as well and society should STOP promoting a consumerist lifestyle. Daycare should be free and covered, Families should get allowances of $450 each month per child (like in France). We need to spend in excess of 4% of our GDP (and reform the education system dramatically so that having children is strongly encouraged and children are "eased" into being a parent).
Thats the only way we save the nation from financial demise.
One needs to assume that the person, for all other purposes, would be a fit parent. I'm not addressing people who, for mental, physical, or even financial reasons choose not to have children. I'm talking about the person who has no reason other than 'I don't want a kid.'
1) The more intelligent, stable, affluent marriages are in the best position to produce children who will benefit the next generation of humans. These children have the lowest rates for becoming criminals, drop-outs, drug users, etc. These are things that benefit society as a whole.
2) Society programs (such as social security) are dependent on the beneficiaries having children. These programs are not paid for by your working dollar, they're paid for by the working dollar of the children or grandchildren who are working when you are retired. Basically, if you are childless you should not receive any society benefits when you retire. This is going to become a bigger problem as people choose to have fewer or even no children.
3) The most common reason someone gives is that they are either not comfortable around children (indicating they believe that there is something wrong with them and did not inherit a parenting gene... Which studies show doesn't exist, parenting is learned, so these people are simply ignorant), or that they want to be free to pursue their own interests. Since the definition of selfish is "lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure." then choosing something that would negatively affect the next generation but personally profit yourself would be selfish.
4) Even when the person will not be using society programs, there is the burden of an elderly couple who have no children to help take care of them. A large percentage of elderly who need help, but are not bad enough to live in a nursing home yet, are cared for by their family, often children or grand-children. Assisted living places are not cheap, and insurance paying for them drives up the insurance for, again, the working age group which the couple did not contribute to.
The argument then becomes whether it's wrong to be selfish. Many today live for 'number 1' and look out for number 1. Excuses of "well, it's better for the planet..." ignore the fact that the population growth is actually at a negative when it comes to births in most places in the world, and that a 'zero population growth' is actually what most advocates argue for, not a negative one. Negative population growth can have extreme effects as the retiring group leaves and there's not enough workers to replace them. So, if you're going to go that route, then anything above 3 (taking into account infertile couples or children who die) would be selfish, but up until then it serves society to at least maintain a zero population growth.
Yes. Children need devotion and love. Children are hard to raise. To have them is not only to bear them but to make personal sacrifices for them and to devote time for them. No one is lacking in the ability to have children but the selfless will to do so.
People who are like that are not only selfish, they lack humanity in them and are likely to not have empathy, why? Because people who i know that are childless, mainly women, are really selfish and mean. And besides, women need to have children or else the human race dies out.
This is not addressing those who are infertile, incapable mentally, or even financially unfit, but to those whom this is a true choice. Selfishness is defined as "lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure."
1) If a couple is fit, then they should contribute to the next generation of society in order to benefit the future of society. A couple who are stable are less likely to have children who grow to have problems that are to the detriment of society. By removing the children of this stable couple you are making that society less fit.
2) If a couple are planning on using any society or insurance programs when they retire, these programs are dependent on the current working population of that society. By having no children they are not contributing to these programs while adding to the burden. Unless they save up the money they have, they are hurting future society (insurance does not count as, again, it's dependent on the healthy working group they did not contribute to.)
3) Children are part of taking care of you in your own age. There are many people who don't want to move into a nursing home who, instead, have their children take care of them on different levels. Assisted living apartments are not cheap, and having insurances cover them again puts the burden on the working class, the group of people they did not contribute to. Basically, the childless are a pure burden, and if it was something they chose to do then it's not only not benefiting the future it's hurting it.
4) Most people who choose childish states are either afraid they don't have a parenting gene (which is ignorant since this behavior is learned, not inherited...) or say they just want the freedom they are accustomed to (self-serving even at the detriment of society, basic definition of selfish.)
To counter some of the arguments presented... If the world is at a high population and should not increase population, the experts recommend attaining a negative population growth, which requires a 3 child average in order to replace the parents and take into account mortality and those naturally infertile. Currently, most places in the world are at a negative population growth, which causes an increase of burden on the working class and hurts the overall health of society. Since a negative population growth hurts society, having at least 2-3 children should be considered necessary for society's health, though it could be argued having more than that would be selfish but having none is as bad or worse.
I can play with children, take care of children, and if I see a child run out in traffic I would not hesitate to jump in front of a car to protect them. Does that make me special? Of course not. We as human beings are hardwired to take care of children and want them to be happy. But does it make mean you only care about yourself if you decide not to have children of your own? Sure people can say I didn't have them because I didn't want to change diapers, and wanted to be able to go out whenever I wanted to. But I say there are plenty of people out there who had children for purely selfish reasons. To have someone love them unconditionally, be dependent on them. Someone they can mold into a "mini-me". Someone to carry on the family name. Someone to take care of them when they are sick. Maybe even just because it's what everyone else does so they think they have to as well. I maintain that not everyone who decides not to have children is a selfish person. I think it is a shame that questions are drawn on a person's (especially a woman's) character if they decided not to be a parent. People make that decision for all kinds of reasons, and it can't be automatically assumed that those are selfish reasons. They may be sad reasons (or not so sad), but those reasons should be respected. God bless the parents of the world, I ain't one of them!
Then again it's just selfish to have kids for any reason other than the guaranteed betterment of humanity. Anyone who has kids to try and given "meaning" to their own lives, To relive/improve their memories of childhood, To have (LOL) a free caretaker when they're elderly, Or if they have a kid out of idle curiosity ("Gee, I wonder if my kids will finally inherit grandad's blue-green eyes? "), Etc, Etc is a helluva lot more selfish than I and the rest of my childfree ilk.
That's one way of looking at it.
Another way to look at it: no, It's not selfish. What it is, Is rational. Personally, I did not spend the first 18 years of my life looking forward to adulthood, Independence and earning my own money just to return to a life where I'm surrounded by childish things all over again, I'm trapped by hearth and home once more and my income is far from what it would have been if only I'd obeyed my gut feelings and foregone parenthood. I've babysat enough kids over the years to recognize the drudgery and boredom that would come with full-time parenting and I don't want that for myself. I flat-out refuse to live a life of regret and I know without a single doubt that I would indeed regret parenthood. I would be one of those parents counting down the days until my kid was old enough to boot out the door so I could reclaim my freedom. In such a case, Why the heck should I have children? Worse, What if my kid wasn't even healthy? Or what if they were born healthy but then became disabled and dependent of me/other taxpayers for the rest of time due to some accident? Why entrap myself in a completely avoidable state of misery just because my parents want to be grandparents or because parenthood is deemed by others to be the ideal?
I had a decent enough childhood in some respects, But in no way do I want to relive it all. I did my time being poor, Doing homework, Navigating cliques and standing up to bullies. I have absolutely no desire to repeat those lessons. I'm done, Graduated and have moved the hell on. Having a kid at this point would be akin to a (minimum) 18-year Groundhog Day movie experience, Condemning myself to a prison of my own making (whether or not things went well) and for what? The occasional hug and kiss? Fleeting moments of pride? Seriously? What sensible, Childfree person would risk their independence for something so tenuous? What guarantees can anyone give me that my kid won't be autistic or a moron or a drug addict or just an overall pointless and unlovable human being? I know there are no guarantees in life, But if I'm going to spend a minimum of two full decades of my life on such a risky experiment, I damn well better get some guarantees!
In regards to the poll it seems that the majority think it's not selfish and I have to agree. For those who think it is selfish then by all means have a child in my honour. I love children, It's why I work with them and it's my passion to work with them past retirement. However as much as I love them, I do not want to be around them 24 hours. I have plans to travel and move from country to country - that life would not be suitable for a child. For those who mention retirement homes or nursing homes and how child free people will not have their children/grandchildren looking after them that is not the case for most parents. I can think of many elderly people who don't have the luxury of being looked after, But instead thrown away like old goods no one wants. Life does not start when you have kids nor does it end when you don't.
Do you think adults having children make them happy? If so, Think again. It is actually more selfish to have children than to not have any. It is more selfish to not have at least one pet but no more than 10 pets than 1 to 10 pets in your own home. It is annoying, Expensive, And so many more to have children. Children are at least 10 times more expensive than pets. Everyone should now be required by law to learn to think twice before having children or otherwise they took the risk. You should think twice before planning on having kids, Having unprotected sex that causes pregnancy, And so much more. The best way to prevent pregnancy is don't have sex, Unless you use protection and take a pregnancy test to help prevent pregnancy. Your pets can be your new children, That is all. You don't need to be afraid to be alone when you're old, If so, Have at least a pet, But not children because the world today is over populated. If you choose to have children anyways, You do so at your won risk. You can have no more than 2 children, 1 is best. People in America weren't thinking twice before having children, They choose to do some bad things to them such as swearing, Adults choose to smoke, Drink, And even do drugs. You should NOT have children if you like to be the one causing trouble such as smoking, Drinking, Etc. Because these things and having children do NOT mix, That will more likely to cause them to do the same thing when they become your age. There doesn't need to be a reason to not have kids, It's better to not have them, It's just better to have at least 1 pet, So please, Make a responsible choice and live child free, Your whole life. Children will fight you, They yell scream, And do so many bad things to you if you're never being careful enough. You must watch some t. V. Advertisement to help make a difference, Especially the 30 minute ads.
No it is not, If someone dont has the money or not a job, or a bad paid job,and needs time for itself not to work 24 hours for a kid who might up growing in to a unthankful, disprespecting adult. To many women end up raising Kids alone, it can destroy financial and your whole existence. It´s our body we should decide if we wanna give birth or not. Not all have the luck to get their old body back after birth, themore its selfish society acts like they have right to demand you give birth. I like children but i dont want any and i don´t feel guilty for that and that doens´t make me me or other whos thinks like me a bad person or a bad woman.
We should not be forced or judged because of this. Otherwise there would be a law forcing people to have or not have children. Again, it is a choice of every individual. If i don't want to have kids then that's it. No one can force me. People care too much about what others are doing.
It is entirely up to you if you want kids or not, just like getting a tattoo or a degree. Society is constantly reminding us that we are all individuals and have a right to express ourselves. While I don't agree with everything that seems to a social norm these days, we do have a right to express ourselves individually (without bringing harm upon others). Bringing children into this world is just as selfish as not doing so. Personally, I know I will never have children. I don't need to bring a child in this world to know what love is, as a child once myself, I was very much involved with the upbringing of a family I understand family values. I have nephews to show me what it is like to love another tiny human to the point of NEVER wanting anything bad to happen to them and to do anything in my power to prevent it. You do not need to have a child to feel that kind of love. It is simply LOVE.
Having a child does not make you more important than someone who doesn't, it does not make you more brave, and it certainly doesn't make you more valuable.
As it currently stands, our planet does not have enough resources to comfortably support all of the humans currently living, leading to poverty and starvation
Adding another human to the mix is throwing another log on the fire. Thus, choosing to not have kids (or even adopt) is a much better decision
There are no empirical studies whatsoever showing that childfree people are more selfish. In fact, here's a question to ponder - if people don't want babies/children but have them anyway, what social issues are being inadvertently stored up further down the line?
Furthermore, the sociologist Orna Donath has, over the last few years, broken the taboo of another group of people who had remained very quiet, namely those who actually regret having children. We know that many children are not even properly planned, as a Guttmacher Institute report revealed.
There are many people who are struggling to raise children, I don't want to be entangled and tied down. I'm 18 with no children, I have freedom. Having children isn't even in my vocabulary. I can work, go to school, leave the house when I want to. When you have no kids, You Are NOT limited. I just want to date, and love myself first. There are so many opportunities and things to see in this world. Having kids = more money. I used to think that kids would be great, and I'd be happily married forever...But all of that is a fairy tale, people can betray you and I don't want to be a single mother and go through baby daddy drama like you see these days. I want to be that "She's 26 with no kids, own car, own apartment, she has animals, kind and loving, has a career good money."