A transwoman is not a real woman. Her vagina is not natural therefore it is not really a vagina. She still has a lot of the aspects of being a man. Besides what if a man wants to have kids? Does that make him "transphobic"? Trans people are very confused people.
Although this question is posed in a slightly strange way, I think the sentiment is that should someone feel bad or consider themselves transphobic for not wishing to date someone based on their gender identity?
The answer as far as I can tell, Should be no. I don't think anyone needs to be challenged by this, If you're interested in someone who turns out to be a transwoman at any stage of dating, That straight man in question can of course say something along the lines of "I'm sorry, That's not exactly what I'm looking for in a relationship, But I wish you all the best and I support you".
No need to be nasty about it, Most people will be up front about their gender identity and also what they're looking for. We can all find a peaceful way of communicating, Whilst also being inclusive and understanding.
A straight man deserves to know just what he is getting into when getting into a relationship. It wouldn't be fair if you were to lead him on thinking you were a real woman only for him to shockingly find out you were lying. A real woman and a trans woman are 100% not the same, Coming from both a biological and psychological point. Women and men are different in many ways. If a man wants to date a woman, He shouldn't get an impostor and have to find out through lies and deceit. It's less him being transphobic and more him preferring many things.
Being trans is an issue dealing with the mind, Not the body of the person. You can fully support a trans person's transition, But not want to be involved in it, In the same way that not wanting to date a person with depression does not make you a depression-phobe. Even if the transition went perfectly and you cannot tell that they used to be the opposite gender, You may still have preferences when it comes to the personality.
Let's face it. Would anyone normal date a "woman" who used to be a man? What's happening is that nobody wants to acknowledge that men in the real world don't give a rat's fart if you "identify" as a woman, But rather still consider you a man for dating purposes. I am the hairiest man in the city and if I say that I choose to "identify" as Jennifer Lawrence, It's not like I will be magically perceived as a super hot babe. Whoever thinks that men in society when considering a date should be equally biased to transwomen is retarded, To put it mildly. What's next? Being called trans-dog-phobic for arresting a man who shoves his nose up people's butts because he "identifies" as a dog? C'mon! He's a "good boy"! Don't arrest him! You're a trans-dog-phobe if you think he shouldn't be allowed to sniff people's assholes! How dare you!
I say it’s not transphobic because if he really is uncomfortable dating someone who used to be a man then that’s his preference. In fact in countries like the European countries they acknowledge that there are differences between trans woman and real woman and they do acknowledge that it may be uncomfortable for straight people to date them and they’re ok with them because they’re being honest about it, And they won’t say that it’s 100% the same because there are differences to trans woman and real woman they’re not the same