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  • It's wrong because it's just about sex

    The nice thing about having sex is not the orgasm... I can have a better orgasm wanking. The thing i love about it is that it's something you do only with the only person you love. The only person allowed to be this intimate.. If we loose this, then we could wank and it would be even more pleasurable most of the times. So if my partner would go with another man i'd feel really bad... And lonely..Not special for her anymore.. One as the others.. And she would only get a few minutes of pleasure while i'd feel bad for weeks. Do you understand there's a trade off? Then if i love her i want her to feel free but if she loves me she wants me to feel happy. Is she able to not have sex with somebody for my happiness? I dont think 'm asking that much cause it's just an orgasm i ask her to renounce to for my happiness. Otherwise i could say that it makes me happy to beat her everyday..Should she let me do that even if she would be hurt, just to make me happy? And to be sincere, i would prefer to be punched in the face instead of knowing that i'm not special for her anymore.

  • It's damaging and hurtful.

    In fact one 2012 study discovered “significantly higher levels of rape, kidnapping, murder, assault, robbery and fraud in polygamous cultures.

    Most polyamorous relationships start when one person in a monogamous relationship starts feeling like there is something missing and that they selfishly want to find this with someone other than their current partner. So they coerce their partner into trying polyamory. This almost always results in resentment and pain for at least one of the people involved. It's selfish and doesn't work out. There is a lot of turnover in poly. It is almost never long-term. Poly usually involves revolving door relationships rather than actually loving long-term. It also requires keeping the next person (or people) on deck in case someone within the relationship leaves to keep the proper balance and ensure that the practitioner is having their needs met. That being the case, it couldn’t possibly be love and must instead be selfishness.

    Polyamory requires more time and energy than monogamy making it inefficient. There are greater scheduling and time management issues. It is also typically more exhausting especially for people with already harried lives.

    Often practiced by those with low self-esteem, poly is a way of seeking validation through multiple partners for those who have been abused/raped.

    Further, Polyamory destroys the innocence of childhood. In an environment where most of the adults are constantly looking for their next intimate escapade, it is impossible for the children to mature at a natural rate. Sexual innuendo, gestures and energies are constantly in the air around them. Perhaps even discussed outright. Children should NOT be exposed to adult sexuality. That's child abuse. Just because you may have suffered it doesn’t mean that other children should.
    The claim that children benefit from polyamorous parents by having more people to look after them and that it benefits the parent(s) as they have more support and built in babysitters (which shows the selfishness of the polyamorous) is false. In actuality, surveys show that children of poly are less happy. Also, if all the adults are busy worrying about who they are going to sleep with next, who is worrying about the needs of the children? Polyamory usually makes children into an afterthought, and unsexed "mothers" out of those mature enough to resist the madness of pursuing sexual pleasure above all else.

    Claims that polyamory is not about sex is just marketing in attempt to gain greater acceptance and perhaps lure someone into their lifestyle.

  • Despite the claims

    That polyamory means many loves, and is not about the sex, it really is about the sex. If it wasn’t about sex then the need for more people in your life could be met through close friendships. Clearly it is about sex.
    Dividing attention between multiple partners, by its very nature divides the intimacy whether it is due to time constraints or other factors. Fewer partners equates to greater intimacy with monogamy being the greatest depth of intimacy to be found with others. The argument that one person cannot meet your needs is a fallacy as it has been shown that in monogamy there is a greater level of intimacy and in real needs being met than in polyamory. If there is something missing in a monogamous relationship it can usually be filled by individual pursuits (hobbies, etc,). If the argument that what is missing is sexual intimacy it shows that polyamory IS about sex.
    There are some who falsely claim that a poly lifestyle is a "sexual orientation". Polyamory is not a sexual orientation, it is simply a naive lifestyle choice. However, claiming that polyamory is a sexual orientation is simply another demonstration that it is about sex. Usually to keep all partners satisfied in poly relationships the time investment is such that it makes sex central to life. It takes a toll on other aspects of life often only allowing for part-time or underemployment at most in order to practice it and frequently precluding other, non-sexual, pursuits. If you’re good with this, then clearly your reason for polyamory is sex. This is why, "[polyamory] is the choice of overwhelmingly white, affluent, university educated and privileged folk, with too much time on their hands. (Sheff)"
    Yes, it is very common to feel sexual attraction toward more than one person at a time. This is nothing new. It is primitive to act on and reduces one to the level of animals. Contrary to the statements of those practicing polyamory, monogamy has been the natural state of humans at least since hunter gatherer societies evolved. Saying poly is natural and dates from early mankind is only saying that poly is more primitive.
    There is no factual evidence that polyamory is superior to monogamy in any way other than having selfish needs met. And all the problems that can occur in monogamy occur to a greater degree in polyamory, including cheating. Poly-relationships can often become highly volatile and polarized due to more personalities being involved.
    Polyamory is not a demonstration of being able to give more love. Quite the contrary, to give more love would be to love one person with whom you are truly, deeply, and lovingly intimate enough to forego the other temptations that happen in your life. In polyamory you’re not “more special” you are simply one of many.
    Polyamory is ethical hedonism. It is focused on pleasure NOT love. If it is what you want, fine, but don't claim it is something that it's not.

  • Was Not Created By God

    "If you study biblical instances of polygamy in detail, you'll discover that none of them is portrayed in a positive light. In every case, the practice of keeping multiple wives results in problems for the king or patriarch in question. In some cases those problems are very serious indeed. If you doubt this, take a closer look at the lives of Abraham, Jacob, and David. Solomon is the best known and most extreme example of this principle."

  • This is disgusting and wrong

    Polyamory goes against all sense of morality and the bible. If you are in a relationship with someone then you need to commit to being with them alone and not slutting around with other guys. Polyamory is disgusting and immoral and completely wrong. This is obviously completely immoral and should be banned.

  • It's not about love

    Love is supposed to be a committed and trustful relationship between two people, no matter what race, sexual orientation or identity they are. Polyamory is just an excuse for one of the participants to have more sex. It's like having to choose one of all the 5 delicious deserts on the menu. You can't choose all of them... You have to pick one that you deeply desire.

  • Never Works Out

    A couple can only work when each is valued as an equal; when you have a three or more man crowd, suddenly instead of working on “us” you can take sides, or favor one over the other. Even if it starts as a loving relationship that power balance is inherently less stable than a two person dynamic, it’s just not going to work out in the end.

  • Never Works Out

    A couple can only work when each is valued as an equal; when you have a three or more man crowd, suddenly instead of working on “us” you can take sides, or favor one over the other. Even if it starts as a loving relationship that power balance is inherently less stable than a two person dynamic, it’s just not going to work out in the end.

  • Gives rise to an unhealthy society.

    Considering the new trend of polyamory in a skeptical manner,I shall consider it to be an extremely unhealthy practice.Because people engaging in sex with multiple partners leads to higher chances of having STDs/STIs .Always it is a basic advice that a monogamous relationship is necessary for a healthy relationship both from a biological and emotional point of view.Its very disappointing to see that human beings despite being able to possess the ability of applying their prudence fall into the snares of lust and go on to lead an unhealthy,disatisfying life.

  • Gives rise to an unhealthy society.

    Considering the new trend of polyamory in a skeptical manner,I shall consider it to be an extremely unhealthy practice.Because people engaging in sex with multiple partners leads to higher chances of having STDs/STIs .Always it is a basic advice that a monogamous relationship is necessary for a healthy relationship both from a biological and emotional point of view.Its very disappointing to see that human beings despite being able to possess the ability of applying their prudence fall into the snares of lust and go on to lead an unhealthy,disatisfying life.

  • Seeing as I am polyamory, no.

    Since I actually am a polyamory individual, this is an easy answer to give.

    We are attracted to who we are attracted to. Morality does not come into play. Two or more consenting adults can give joy to one another without exploiting others. Why would that be wrong?

    So long as everyone is honest about their escapades, no one is harmed.

  • Why is it wrong?

    As long as the individuals involved in the relationship are consenting and are aware of the other partners, then what's the issue?
    Honestly, if you don't like the idea of polyamory, then YOU don't do it. Don't harass other people just because
    A. You don't understand.
    B. It's against your religion.

  • Look beyond what you've been taught to be "natural" or "normal".

    If you truly love someone, you want them to feel free. You want to feel free. Putting limits on a relationships just is unrealistic (we naturally want to share our light with people we come across who speak to us) and stems from our own negative emotions we aren't taking responsibility for. It's okay to feel jealous, and insecure, but it is not your partners job to cut off other people because of it.
    Love isn't always sexual. It's in a gaze, a gesture, playfulness, deep communication, so many things that have nothing to do with simply getting off.
    I think a lot of people have that misconception, that once there are no limits it'll be a fuckfest.
    For some, maybe. But for me, it's about being myself and being honest with how that might naturally grow into something more. We should want to love as much as we can in life. It's ludacris to not in fear of someone else being upset about it - we should want our partners the happiest they can be.

  • Not in my eyes

    Any intimate relationship between consenting adults is private business. I see no reason to stigmatize polyamory, it does not directly harm non-participants. The same argument can apply to homosexual behavior. Polyamorous relationships are capable of having the same values as monogamy, only polyamorists define these values in a different aspect.

  • Not in my book

    Any intimate relationship between consenting adults is private business. Polyamory does not directly harm non-participants, so I see no reason to stigmatize it. The 2012 film Savages explores a polyamorous relationship between the three main characters, and it seemed to work out for them. Polyamory can have the same values as monogamy, but defined in a different aspect.

  • It's not just about sex.

    There is much more to a relationship than just sex. MUCH more. Humanity is so diverse and different and each person is so unique that trying to find "the one" becomes an impossible endeavor. Everyone's needs are slightly different than any other one person's and expecting just ONE person to meet every single one of those needs is incredibly selfish if they cannot for whatever reason or your needs end up clashing with your partners. Just because they cannot provided 100% of everything that you need doesn't mean that they don't care or that they are bad partners, It just means there are a few things they aren't able to do. Now if you can find someone who wants to and can meet 100% of your needs, Then great, Go for it. But people are who they are and you can't go down a list pinging off everything that they have that you need and then trying to change them for anything that they lack. Let them be who they are and find someone else who can, And is willing, To fill in the gaps. Polyamory is all about open communication and honesty and respecting the consent and boundaries of ALL parties involved. If you think polyamory is just about sex then that means you equate relationships with sex and maybe you should be the one to stop and evaluate what a REAL relationship is.

  • Heinlin was on to something

    Monogamy is only viewed as normal because it is what society and political institutions support. If you actually stop and think about three or more consenting adults choose to have deep feelings for each other. What is wrong about it? Everyone is being honest. Isn’t it better than the dishonest bull hockey that cheating brings? Divorce rates are around 50%. That’s not saying much for the institution.

    You have to try really hard not to project things like jealousy onto this thought experiment. People will say something is wrong when it taps into their sense of security. That doesn’t make it wrong. It just makes it threatening.

    I’ve been in extremely long term polyamorous unions my entire life before that term was even used. My first intimate encounter was as a teen with two boys in the back seat of my grandmas car. There was no sex just heavy petting and kissing. I don’t think I gave it a second thought. It seemed natural. My first marriage involved my husband and we lived with a guy. That triad lasted 3 years. I ended both relationships for reasons not related to poly. My next big relationship was another marriage and another “roommate”. In middle age I’ve just have come to accept this is who I am and my partners have worked out great as friends to each other and as intimates to me. This triad is in its 5th year and I don’t see any reason it won’t take us into our golden years.

    I’ve read that around 5% of US adults are in a polyamorous relationship or have tried it. That’s around 16 million people. Many of them stay closeted —well —because of ignorant debates like this one.

    If you want to see the future read Robert Heinlin “Stranger in a Strange Land”. Polyamory is the default relationship type and Monogamy is alternative in that universe.

  • Have you tried it

    Being poly myself, no isn't not wrong. Society has made us think this way. For me don't get me wrong the sex is awesome, but it is more then that. Its a very supportive relationship. Different personalities offer different things emotionally as well. For the people who are just saying its wrong. If you have never been in it, then you don't know. I tried monogamy it didn't work for me.

  • It shouldn't be.

    Polyamorous relationships won't hurt you, and every adult involved in the relationship are aware and consenting. It's an actual, dedicated, real relationship between more than one person and not an excuse for sex. To be in a polyamorous relationship each party has to agree and consent to having more than one partner; and there are plenty of polyamorous relationships that prove that they work out and can live loving (and dedicating themselves to) more than one person.

  • For me, it feels right.

    My primary and I have been married 10 years. Husband has a secondary who has been married for 8 years and her primary dates. My secondary has been married for 13 years and his wife has had the same secondary for over a year and a half. We are all strict about who out primaries are and we have rules that we follow. Everyone plays by the rules and it is successful. For us, it isn't just about sex it is about connection. My husband and I have shared hobbies but there are some hobbies that we don't share. Those are the dates we go on with our secondaries. Everyone's needs are being met and we are all respectful of boundaries. Non-poly people may think it is wrong, but I think it is just because they don't understand. Besides, it's really none of anyone's business what consenting adults do.


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