Yes, adopted children should contact their biological parents. Many biological parents give their children up for adoption because they are young, unmarried, and unable to provide a stable lifestyle for their children. They give them up with the hope that they will be adopted by a family that will love them and give them a good life. As years pass, biological parents mature and often yearn to see the child they gave away. Because of the stigma involved with giving a child up for adoption, many biological parents are afraid to initiate any search for the child out of fear of rejection. If the child wants to search for and contact their biological parents, it should be encouraged – otherwise they will always wonder until it becomes too late to find out.
Yes, of course children should be able to meet/know who their biological parents are. Presumably though, institutions that take abandoned children allow those children that information when they are an adult (I am assuming 18). If an adult decides they would like to seek out their biological parents, for what reason would anyone have to stop them?
It is their right to decide to do it or not. But parents should give the child that right. It should be their decision if they want them to be part of their life or if they at least want to know where they came from and what their heritage is.
I am adopted. In my case, I only met one of my birth parents and he's a bit of a lost cause. However, 2 of my friends were adopted. They are sisters. A few years ago, They contacted their birth parents and have been balancing their birth and adoptive parents. Honestly, It just depends on the circumstances of the situation. I still haven't met one of my birth parents so I might comment again after I meet her one day. All I can say is, You don't know until you try.
Even with the risk of the birth parents being bad people, It is important to know. Often with children who are adopted, All they want is to just know who the parents are. Think about how you would feel if you were in an adopted kids situation. The parents gave the kid up say at age 16 or maybe 30. The time the child was given up was an entire different time in the parents life.
Seeing my biological parents is a great experience. They support in everything I do exactly like my parents now. I'm not mad at them for giving me up because I know it was the right choice for her. If these kids don't get to see their birth parents, They are missing out cause it's amazing.
I couldn't give my son what he needed. He got to meet us as a teen in crisis and now has a great job, Married and has a baby girl. Even thou he is mad at us for not giving him what he thinks he wanted we still taught him self independence. If not informed by a young age about adoption they have issues as a adult which can be harder for them to adjust.
I can remember my mum and life there even tho i was 6 when i was adopted, and i am grateful that i am adopted, however i lost contact with her when i was six so for eight years of my life i was living with guilt and pain because i didn't know where my mum was and i missed her badly so when i found her i was really happy . But i think its good to know your bio because they're part of your development.
Is it fair that a kid who isn't adopted knows her their biological parents are? Is it fair that a little kid gets told they are adopted. These kids who are adopted should get to know who their real parents are and not just their other parents. Go find your parents.
Finding your biological parents can help answer questions about yourself and your past. It can help you heal the wounds that you may feel. It can also be healing to the parents that put you up for adoption. They may simply be waiting for you. It is your choice now.
Though I think every case is unique and should be handled accordingly, there are some cases where I believe the mother deserves to have her rights honored and NOT be found by her adopted child. If you were minding your own business, living your life right and someone decides to come along assault and rape you, impregnating you then you have the absolute right to give the baby up for adoption. She didn't believe the child deserved murder but also didn't want to forever look at a child she never even wanted and be haunted the rest of her life by an every day reminder of how she even became a parent. It's NOT a blessing all the time. No matter what you say or your opinion, as a human, you can NOT tell someone, anyone... How to handle or get over a tragedy such as this one. PERIOD!!! If you find her, how would you feel about THAT truth? Put her through more hell because you thought you were given up poorly? Sometime's searching for the truth does more damage than healing. If your adoptive parents were good to you, why bother?
No matter what the subject we all have rights up to the point where they conflict with another's. In a closed adoption the child adopted shall not be aloud to seek out the parents because the parents rights of them not knowing who their child is was set in place the moment the child was born and the papers were signed. Where I do see conflict is an open adoption where a child should be aloud to meet and even connect with on the daily. But if a parent will not meet you because they gave you up for a reason the child will be hurt and then damaged. The adoptive family is the family that the child has know forever when a child seeks for a biological parent the adoptive family may start to think that all the effort and time spent making the child feel as if they were apart of the family was pointless, causing both sides to pull away and disconnect.
I would have never given this a thought if it wasn't for my 8th grade English teacher. This is the topic for a debate "talk show" and I am arguing con, anyone with more points that may help me write my debate outline comment below. Thanks.
Though it is understandable why an adopted child would want to contact his or her biological parents, it is probably best avoided, at least until mutually initiated by one or both of the biological parents. If the child was conceived and born under catastrophic conditions, the possibility of psychological scarring far outweighs the benefit of feeling wanted. Being contacted by a child born in dire circumstances also creates the possibility of psychological damage to one or both of the biological parents. There is a good chance of emotionally hurting the adoptive parents as well. Contact between adopted children and their biological parents should be handled carefully, and only when mutually initiated and desired.
The pain of giving up a child for adoption isn't easily quelled. The parents may have made a very difficult decision in their early lives. When an older child finds the biological parents, the reunion can be overly emotional. The kids were given up for adoption for a reason, and not necessarily a good one.
Actually, My answer is a soft no, Not a hard no. Some people are hell bent on finding out who their birth mother or father were, And if the emotional upheaval is too great to leave it alone, Then well. . . Maybe it is best they get it over with. But my answer is no because the whole issue is based on a fairytale more than real life. The child was adopted by his/her real parents. The people that raised, Educated, Loved, Dealt with tantrums and problems and planned birthday parties and so on. This excessive importance placed on DNA is just ridiculous. Bottomline is: two people gave a child up. Two other people welcomed that child. Who is the family really? The first two should not even be called mother and father but merely progenitors. The second couple, Those are the mother and father. It breaks my heart every time when people go out searching for the "parents" that rejected them and abandoned them, All the while doing the exact same things to their real parents, Who gave them their life and love.
It would be unfair to your parents who have sacrificed so much in their lives to bring you up. And for parents who gave you up from the start, Irregardless of whatever reasons, They have already given you up. Hence, Spend your life with people who love and took care of you, And not hurt them for someone who didn’t take care of you throughout your life.
To clarify, If the child seeks medical history and/or just wants to see the genetic similarities, I am all for it. If the adoptee is simply going after money, You've already proven the type of person you are and should think about who it is you may hurt.
I was completely against giving up my child but due to circumstances had no rights. I spent 30 years grieving and when contact was made, A short time later I realized the sole motive. Money with no regard for my emotions and wow, I was so blind-sided because I followed my heart wanting to believe that this person genuinely cared. As much as I resent the birth mother, I now wonder if she unknowingly did me a favor or whether the child would not have turned out this way had the adoption never taken place. I doubt I'm the only one but I wish I had never followed through with allowing contact. Things were hard before but I think about suicide everyday after everything came to light.
I knew my birth mother sometimes I wish I didn't because it would have saved me a lot of emotional scarring and traumatic events, there was i reason I was taken from my mother. My mother could not keep a job or a house she always needed help and so did my little siblings. My dad Wasn't really there and when he was he didn't pay attention to his biological kids just our little sister with a father that wanted to kill her. My grandpa on my mothers side sexually abused me and her. She let it happen because she wanted to be alone so she left me with him, I could have avoided that if I had been taken as a baby.
All your doing is trying to get in your child’s life.( The one you gave away.) You had your chance to either keep the child or put it up for adoption but now you want to get in its life after it was adopted and fitted to a new family that is not you.
They were given up for a reason. My husband signed over his rights because his ex wife is a nut job. He couldnt take the constant battles with her. The boy was adopted by her new husband. Leave well enough alone. He certainly does not need to relive the nightmare and neither do the rest of us.