Should adopted children contact their biological parents?

  • Yes, Always

    Yes, adopted children should contact their biological parents. Many biological parents give their children up for adoption because they are young, unmarried, and unable to provide a stable lifestyle for their children. They give them up with the hope that they will be adopted by a family that will love them and give them a good life. As years pass, biological parents mature and often yearn to see the child they gave away. Because of the stigma involved with giving a child up for adoption, many biological parents are afraid to initiate any search for the child out of fear of rejection. If the child wants to search for and contact their biological parents, it should be encouraged – otherwise they will always wonder until it becomes too late to find out.

  • Yes, only if they want to.

    Yes, of course children should be able to meet/know who their biological parents are. Presumably though, institutions that take abandoned children allow those children that information when they are an adult (I am assuming 18). If an adult decides they would like to seek out their biological parents, for what reason would anyone have to stop them?

  • Yes

    It is their right to decide to do it or not. But parents should give the child that right. It should be their decision if they want them to be part of their life or if they at least want to know where they came from and what their heritage is.

  • Yes because as an adopted teen

    I can remember my mum and life there even tho i was 6 when i was adopted, and i am grateful that i am adopted, however i lost contact with her when i was six so for eight years of my life i was living with guilt and pain because i didn't know where my mum was and i missed her badly so when i found her i was really happy . But i think its good to know your bio because they're part of your development.

  • They should know

    Is it fair that a kid who isn't adopted knows her their biological parents are? Is it fair that a little kid gets told they are adopted. These kids who are adopted should get to know who their real parents are and not just their other parents. Go find your parents.

  • Just do it

    Finding your biological parents can help answer questions about yourself and your past. It can help you heal the wounds that you may feel. It can also be healing to the parents that put you up for adoption. They may simply be waiting for you. It is your choice now.

  • Yes they should

    As a child I was prevented from contact from my biological mother, I understand now it was in my adoptive parents best interests for me, but I believe that because of the denied contact I never managed to have the bond I desired, and now I have come to and age to understand this, I feel its been left too late and my biological mother is too hard to talk too, it has also caused a lot of emotional problems for myself.

  • Yes, they should.

    It would be sad, when the adopted child didn't know their parents and it would be heart breaking they should give info what their parents did or accomplished or even what they have succeeded it would be good to know about them. I would also be sad if my parents gave me up.

  • Yes, they should.

    It would be sad that the adopted child didn't know their parents. Maybe the reason for that they were scared or didn't want to give up their child I would also feel sad if my parents gave up on me and I wish that the parents that gave up their children, should see them more often to see what they grew up into.

  • I am an adoptee myself, In my personal opinion it is the adoptee's choice to contact the birthparents.

    I lived my whole life wondering if I was ever loved by my Biological parents, when I was 13 I learned that I was taken away by the state of Idaho, and that my biological parent's parental rights were terminated involuntarily by the state of Idaho, my parents were mentally disabled, they could not take care of me ,my brother or my sisters.

  • Why open that can of worms?

    Though it is understandable why an adopted child would want to contact his or her biological parents, it is probably best avoided, at least until mutually initiated by one or both of the biological parents. If the child was conceived and born under catastrophic conditions, the possibility of psychological scarring far outweighs the benefit of feeling wanted. Being contacted by a child born in dire circumstances also creates the possibility of psychological damage to one or both of the biological parents. There is a good chance of emotionally hurting the adoptive parents as well. Contact between adopted children and their biological parents should be handled carefully, and only when mutually initiated and desired.

  • Family Is a Matter of Psychology, Not Biology

    The pain of giving up a child for adoption isn't easily quelled. The parents may have made a very difficult decision in their early lives. When an older child finds the biological parents, the reunion can be overly emotional. The kids were given up for adoption for a reason, and not necessarily a good one.

  • Spoken from a bad experience

    To clarify, If the child seeks medical history and/or just wants to see the genetic similarities, I am all for it. If the adoptee is simply going after money, You've already proven the type of person you are and should think about who it is you may hurt.

    I was completely against giving up my child but due to circumstances had no rights. I spent 30 years grieving and when contact was made, A short time later I realized the sole motive. Money with no regard for my emotions and wow, I was so blind-sided because I followed my heart wanting to believe that this person genuinely cared. As much as I resent the birth mother, I now wonder if she unknowingly did me a favor or whether the child would not have turned out this way had the adoption never taken place. I doubt I'm the only one but I wish I had never followed through with allowing contact. Things were hard before but I think about suicide everyday after everything came to light.

  • Not adopted but going off of someone close to me and their reason behind it.

    Though I think every case is unique and should be handled accordingly, there are some cases where I believe the mother deserves to have her rights honored and NOT be found by her adopted child. If you were minding your own business, living your life right and someone decides to come along assault and rape you, impregnating you then you have the absolute right to give the baby up for adoption. She didn't believe the child deserved murder but also didn't want to forever look at a child she never even wanted and be haunted the rest of her life by an every day reminder of how she even became a parent. It's NOT a blessing all the time. No matter what you say or your opinion, as a human, you can NOT tell someone, anyone... How to handle or get over a tragedy such as this one. PERIOD!!! If you find her, how would you feel about THAT truth? Put her through more hell because you thought you were given up poorly? Sometime's searching for the truth does more damage than healing. If your adoptive parents were good to you, why bother?

  • I'm and adoptee and it would be confusing to bring more parents into the picture for me and I'm 15

    I knew my birth mother sometimes I wish I didn't because it would have saved me a lot of emotional scarring and traumatic events, there was i reason I was taken from my mother. My mother could not keep a job or a house she always needed help and so did my little siblings. My dad Wasn't really there and when he was he didn't pay attention to his biological kids just our little sister with a father that wanted to kill her. My grandpa on my mothers side sexually abused me and her. She let it happen because she wanted to be alone so she left me with him, I could have avoided that if I had been taken as a baby.

  • You do more damage than you repair trying to get back in the life of the child You got rid of.

    All your doing is trying to get in your child’s life.( The one you gave away.) You had your chance to either keep the child or put it up for adoption but now you want to get in its life after it was adopted and fitted to a new family that is not you.

  • Why go there?

    They were given up for a reason. My husband signed over his rights because his ex wife is a nut job. He couldnt take the constant battles with her. The boy was adopted by her new husband. Leave well enough alone. He certainly does not need to relive the nightmare and neither do the rest of us.

  • It would be selfish for an adopted child to seek biological parent.

    They have a right to know medical history, which could be obtained without identification of parent given and perhaps give other family history to help fill the void. Maybe even pictures exchanged. The biological parent should have the choice because it would be opening up the door to a very painful experience that can take years to get over in the first place. Having to relive it could be very painful. It would be like PTSD for some people. Also, if they have a family, it could be very disruptive. Someone might have a checkered past that they have overcome and exposing a bad choice when they were young could be devastating. Having a child "out of wedlock" these days is not uncommon but in the years past it cause a lot of emotional pain.

  • We all have rights to a certain extent

    No matter what the subject we all have rights up to the point where they conflict with another's. In a closed adoption the child adopted shall not be aloud to seek out the parents because the parents rights of them not knowing who their child is was set in place the moment the child was born and the papers were signed. Where I do see conflict is an open adoption where a child should be aloud to meet and even connect with on the daily. But if a parent will not meet you because they gave you up for a reason the child will be hurt and then damaged. The adoptive family is the family that the child has know forever when a child seeks for a biological parent the adoptive family may start to think that all the effort and time spent making the child feel as if they were apart of the family was pointless, causing both sides to pull away and disconnect.

    I would have never given this a thought if it wasn't for my 8th grade English teacher. This is the topic for a debate "talk show" and I am arguing con, anyone with more points that may help me write my debate outline comment below. Thanks.

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