Opinion Question
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Why does anyone wear makeup? Because we dont feel confident enough. Thats why

  Speaking for myself and classmates, a few of us wear makeup and teachers are targeting us and shaming us. In class they will call us to the front and make us take it off, this really ruins our self esteem and is embarrassing. For us girls with imperfect skin, we make ourselves presentable through wearing makeup (light, not caked on) and when we are made to take it all off, it makes us feel ugly and worthless and it seems like everyone is looking at you and thinking 'ew she had bad skin' . Wearing makeup is a way to boost confidence and feel good about yourselves inside. Its not a beauty contest...We simply want to feel pretty and like we are worth something. When girls feel ugly and worthless it can lead to more serious things like depression or anorexia.
Rafe says2013-09-18T18:50:56.757
What a shallow person you are.
Jingram994 says2013-09-19T13:40:20.010
Using a physical aid in order to appear mildly more appealing, and in doing so boost self-confidence in order to be able to be more socially active and accepted, is shallow? They're trying to put their best foot forward socially, in all respects, and are being punished for doing so. This makes them 'shallow'? Really?
Rafe says2013-09-19T13:47:34.183
There are more in a human bein than just about physical beauty. Yes, worrying too much about having a pretty face is shallow.
Jingram994 says2013-09-19T13:52:21.357
I'm aware of that, but the simple act of using a physical aide to boost one's self-confidence does not in itself mark one as 'shallow'. It would make them 'shallow' if they also neglected all other aspects of their social and psychological lives to focus on their physical beauty alone. In this instance, we're talking about using it as an aide to those other aspects.
Rafe says2013-09-19T14:04:47.547
Explain to me how wearing make up helps you to better solve cognitive problems, please.
Jingram994 says2013-09-19T14:08:05.483
Did I say cognitive? Where? School is not just a 'fact learning building', it's also where school aged children do a large part of their socializing.
Rafe says2013-09-19T14:16:19.477
So, we are talking about someone who feels the need of boosting their physical beauty to be able to socialize properly. What does that tell about them? If they lack proper social skills, a bit of pink powder will not turn them into a well adjusted individual. That is what the teacher was trying to teach her. Make up is not an iron shield, and will not protect you from being ridiculed for lacking social skills. It is not a replacement of said skills, either.
Jingram994 says2013-09-19T14:21:18.997
It's not about the social skills, it's about the confidence. I'm quite aware that makeup doesn't boost social skills. It *can* boost one's confidence, however, which is more often than not is the problem. One can be perfectly socially adept and still not be confident enough to employ those skills to the extent they may otherwise feel able to. How would refusing them the ability to use makeup at school help matters in any way?
Rafe says2013-09-19T14:29:19.170
Depending on make up to socialize properly is no different of depending on a drug. Any dependence that goes out of control is bad. If you -need- that bit of pink powder on your face all the time to feel you can talk to people, how is it different af a drug adiction?
Jingram994 says2013-09-19T14:36:10.507
Are you serious? Because there's no *addiction*, that's why. Once you've gotten your confidence up, then you won't 'need' it anymore. It's continued use simply is not harmful in the slightest, at any rate. Unless one also makes the stupid mistake of thinking that caking more and more makeup on will actually make them look better than just enough to accentuate their features. And again, even if they *did* feel as though they absolutely *required* their makeup on to be self-confident and talk to others, simply taking it away from them won't help matters.
Rafe says2013-09-19T14:38:42.110
To learn to walk, you have to let go of the wall and fall a few times.
Jingram994 says2013-09-19T14:47:59.173
Yes, but sometimes you just fall and don't get back up. I'm not saying we should coddle children to an extreme and refuse to allow anything that might injure their confidence. But you simply can't state that allowing them to 'use the wall' at all in the first place is a 'bad' thing. They'll never 'learn to walk' if they aren't allowed to 'crawl' first.
Rafe says2013-09-19T14:52:13.780
If you never ask them to "let go of the wall", how can you expect them to learn to walk without needing it? If you never teach teens that make up adiction is as bad as gambling adiction, how do you expect them to learn that fact by themselves?
Jingram994 says2013-09-19T15:01:24.077
...Because 'makeup addiction' *isn't* as bad as a gambling addiction? For starters, the worst a gambling addiction could do is ruin your life and leave you with nary a dollar to spend; a makeup addiction will, at worst, leave you with the ingrained belief that wearing makeup helps you socialize with others. Really, at no point in your life are you ever *required* to go without makeup, so learning to do without it is simply not necessary. It's probably a good thing to realize, but honestly it's kind of a moot point as long as you still have access to it.
Rafe says2013-09-19T15:42:26.690
"As you still have access to it" being a key point here. You do not know what will happen tomorrow. Should you need to stop using make up, let's say for economic reasons, wouldn't you think it's better to have already learned to live without it? We are not discussing if make up should be forbidden. We are talking about learning to be able to live without being addicted to it. Also, there is the fact that if you allow them to base their whole self worth on how pretty they look, you will be encouraging shallowness.
Jingram994 says2013-09-19T15:53:25.660
I think that, in the likely pretty extreme (given the robust nature of the economy with regards to luxuries like makeup) circumstance of makeup not being available at all, the fact that the makeup isn't available will likely be pretty far down on your list of concerns.

I agree with your point about 'being able to live without being addicted' and having a 'deeper' sense of self-worth, but honestly it's not as though makeup has any physically addictive properties. One will either learn to live without it, or they have deeper issues relating to their confidence and self-image that are only represented as a 'tip of the iceberg' problem here. Allowing an item to be used as a 'stopgap' measure for overcoming a problem does not make that item a part of the problem.

If they use makeup as a measure to temporarily increase their confidence, then any social successes during that time will increase their actual self-confidence, and will cumulatively add up to allow them to do without the makeup completely, should they desire/be required to. If they don't experience comparatively more success socially with the makeup, then they'll likely simply discard it as 'not helpful', and it wont be a problem. Either way, it appears to be more helpful than harmful.
Rafe says2013-09-19T16:05:53.930
Here you are, repeating time an again that make up is a temporal solution. Now tell me, if she links social sucess to make up, what will be motivating her to stop using it? If she links physical beauty with social sucess, what would be her motives to become a person that values people's character before beauty?
Regarding that "robust ecomomy" stance, I do not think you are well informed about the state of the world today. Not every country has a robust economy, and in many, getting luxury items as make up can be a problem. You are talking about a single country, yours, and forgeting there are more nations, not always with a strong economy.
Jingram994 says2013-09-19T16:32:31.050
Yeah, and in those countries without a strong enough economy to support the importation or production of enough makeup for ongoing general sale and distribution, this wouldn't be a problem.

As to the other issue, I'd say that, despite possibly linking her social success to her physical appearance, her self-confidence getting a leg-up would likely be a bigger factor in her decision making.

Even were that not the case, one judging themselves based more on their personal appearance doesn't mean one judges others by that same standard; in the former case, it's a confidence issue, more than likely relating to a fear of being judged by others. In the latter case, I'd hazard a guess that someone who is fearful of the judgements of others isn't also the type to make those judgements themselves.

In any event, placing a higher-than-zero value on personal appearance is generally a *good* thing, and by no means is one inherently 'shallow' for doing so.
g_morgan says2016-02-23T20:04:29.970
'What a shallow person you are'
Those are the types of comments that shatter a girls confidence and self esteem.
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