Should mom pursue child support if dad wanted an abortion, but wanted to have unsafe sex?

Asked by: Elfquest
  • I think i should pursue child support, but unsure.

    I was dating a guy. We had sex. He did not want to use a condom, i told him it was unsafe and that i did not want to get pregant, but did not stop him. The relationship is over and i am pregnant. He says that he wants me to do an abortion and that if i don't i alone chose the kid..I did not plan to have children but can't do an abortion for moral reasons...I chose not to do an abortion, but i feel i have not chosen to do this by myself nor to have a kid. Yes it is my fault for not stopping him when he insisted on not wearing a condom, but i get to raise a child now and i will do it as best as i can, does it mean he is absolved of his responsibility?

  • Babies are the only innocents

    As a single father I felt that I had no choice but to care for my DNA proven daughter who's mother was not able to do so. I asked her not to kill our child. Thankfully she chose correctly.

    My point is that the child is innocent of its parent's choices. Sure it sucks that a father has no choice whether his baby's mother decides to kill his baby or not. If she decides the baby should live then he should be thankful his child has survived a helpless situation and he should do everything possible to support his child and the child's mother if possible. Anything less would be ridiculous. Be real.

  • Correct about everything

    Yeah, thats not right if that father wanted unsafe sex but then he got the girl pregnant, and didnt want anything too do with the girl or the baby. The father needs too man up and face up to what he did wrong, he needs too get a job too support the family.

  • Mom should demand child support from dad.

    The primary biological function of sexual intercourse is to produce children. Aside from abstinence, the best, most cost-effective way to prevent unwanted pregnancies is to use contraception, such as condoms, diaphragms and birth control pills. If these cheaper, available methods are used during an episode of sex, the need for an abortion reduces considerably, to about zero.

    When a partner engages in sexual intercourse this necessarily places paternal responsibility on the partner, making him/her responsible for any child produced by the sexual episode. In the US, the courts can use paternity testing to determine who a child's biological father is and then use that evidence to force the father to pay child support.

    There are important exceptions to this kind of court action, though.


  • Only in certain situations...

    If a woman has a baby with a man just so she can get child support from him and abuse the system, then that's BS. If the father wanted an abortion, no matter how they had sex (protection or not), then I think that should be respected, obviously the court system doesn't have the same idea. If you think that the father has a responsibility for his child, then have him get custody of the kid and raise it, and even better, have him get child support. People like sex, not babies. Sex does not equal/mean babies, it doesn't. I say that because I am PRO CHOICE. And my girlfriend and I already have her getting an abortion settled, so piss out of the debate if you think abortion is wrong, LEAVE! Women who think they deserve child support are only in it to use that money for other things, I would know I've seen it (girlfriends mom). So in conclusion, the answer is NO, BECAUSE LOTS OF WOMEN WILL ABUSE THE SYSTEM.

  • Sex Equality throughout

    One persons decision, and thus should not define responsibility to someone else unless they both agree... To the financially, emotionally, and willingness to be active in the child's life. Freedom of women to choose. Freedom of men to choose. Sex Equality throughout is the only equal solution to all involved.

  • I am in support of the 'opt-in' definition of parenthood...

    Firstly, the father's 'rights' regarding abortion itself.
    Unless the father agreed to using, and actually used, birth control, he should not have any rights over abortion at all. Really, he just shouldn't have 'abortion rights' anyway; a woman's body is HER body, period. Abortion is STRICTLY a women's rights and health issue.

    Secondly, the father's rights regarding parenthood.
    I believe that men should have the right to a 'paper abortion' (same thing as adoption, save that only the father gives up parenting responsibility and rights), so long as he gives the mother 'fair warning' (as much so as possible), leaving her enough time to decide what to do with her pregnancy and child. That goes for ALL parenting rights & responsibilities; unless you deliberately choose to 'opt in' to parenthood, it is unethical to force any aspect of it, including unwanted and unplanned for financial burden, on you.
    Assuming fair warning as to intent is given, and the woman actually has time to critically evaluate her situation and options, then assuming she decides to go along with both the pregnancy and child-rearing, then it is *her* decision, and thus *her* responsibility; she *knew* the father did not want to be a father, and did not want any part, financially or emotionally, in her child's life. It is unethical to force any aspect of parenthood on any person against their will. If she *still* wants to have and raise the child, assuming other options have always been open to her, then the burden is on her to be able to afford to do that.
    Yes, this does make part of my case being that if you don't know if you will be able to afford to have a child, then you shouldn't have one, and you should ensure that any consensual sexual encounters you have involve the use of birth control; if you don't, and this happens, part of the blame is on you as well. Unless you were raped, in which case clearly all financial burden should be on the rapist (regardless of genders involved, I feel the need to ramble about for some reason; a female who rapes a male and gets pregnant should either be forced to have an abortion, or forcibly separated from it along with having to financially support it, with no legal/financial burden at all on the raped individual).

    This is obviously disregarding situations where abortion *isn't* widely & freely available; in situations such as this, financial burden should be on the *state*, that forbids freedom of women to choose what is done with their bodies and lives, to care for the children they forced the mothers to continue carrying and give birth to.

    Obviously the *ideal* thing to happen is that both partners *do* consent to sex involving birth control, and no issue such as this is likely to crop up. In such an instance, I absolutely and completely stand by everything I've said here.

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