Should parents be allowed to read teens' text messages?

  • Hilarious

    This survey is too funny--all of the yes votes that I have read are parents and all of the no votes I see are kids. LOL...When you grow up, CHILDREN, and pay your own bills you can have your privacy. The reason being is that we as parents have the responsibility of making sure you are making the right choices and sometimes with ever growing ways of communicating kids do not use their brains that God gave them and make a mistake that cannot be taken back. We are here to raise you and protect you from yourselves.

  • There isn't any 'allowed' about it.

    My child lives in my house, she does not have a job or money, she is under 18. I WILL read her texts until she is on her own. Period. Again, there is no 'allowed' about it. It is plain and simply something that WILL happen.

    Until she is old enough to support herself, provide for herself and or any mistakes she might make, I will be aware of what going on in her life. She can have complete freedom from these things when she can provide it for herself.

  • Yes we do

    Parents are legally responsible for their children. I know of past cases where parents have been arrested for crimes a child has done and they also can be held financially responsible. You are protecting your child by getting in front of activity that is suspicious
    we should be allowed to see everything a cop or teacher or doctor and counselor can see I monitor my kids PC phone chat room Facebook everything they do I know it end of decision for me
    I your a liberal and think you are invading their privacy welll have fun in jail and paying ou what they owe

  • Parents are Right

    I'm a Teen, and my phone is regularly checked. I understand why they do it however, and it is very justified, otherwise you might end up going places where you shouldn't, or end up messing up your life - forever. Nothing you post can truly go away, but with parent's monitoring what you post, you have a much less chance of doing something you shouldn't.

  • Teenagers are stupid and make bad decisions

    Because you shouldn't have anything on your phone that you would be ashamed or embarrassed for you parents to know, and if you do, then you deserve to get busted for it. I don't understand why teenagers think they can do whatever they like, things that they absolutely know they will get in trouble for and think that they can just hide it from their parents. I can 100% guarantee that hiding stuff and lying to your parent will always result in a much more severe punishment than if you'd told them upfront what you had done (or could just not be an idiot and not do those things).

  • Who is paying the bill for phone, internet etc.?

    Of course children / teens / young adults do not believe that you should be snooping into what they want to call "their privacy". They also think they know everything and can make wise decisions. They think it is ok to text and drive, drink and drive and show their private parts while on spring break....Young ones think they should not have to go to school or have a bedtime ...Do I have to go on....I think everyone gets the picture...... Bottom line is, THEY are not paying for a phone, internet, computers, ipads and the electricity it takes to keep them running and until they do those items are NOT THEIRS. They are the property of the parent or guardian and can be looked at, searched, monitored at anytime they please. I was paying for my 30 year old daughters phone and internet when she got a divorce and when I heard her gossiping and being mean on the phone I shut it off. When I found out the type of things she was posting on facebook I had the internet removed. She knew what the boundries where and chose to use those divices for avenues to hurt others which is unacceptable to me. She now pays for her own phone and what she chooses to do with it is her business but she will not be doing it on my dime. If you are not doing anything wrong then there should not be a problem with anyone looking at your text messages or emails which by the way are not private anyway and if you think they are you are grossly mistaken. If you feel you should have privacy and you are old enough then get a job, be responsible, and pay for all of your electronical gadgets yourself and you may also want to move out on your own until then, my house my rules....

  • Yes

    Because parents need to know about their teens life and try to help them with any problems

  • Their house, their rules.

    Same thing goes with a cell phone. If the parent pays the bill every month, buys the phone, and listens to the kids complaining about how they need an upgrade every six months, then the parent has the right to monitor the kids' use of the phone. If teens don't like it, they can go out, get jobs, and pay their own cell phone bills. Everything has a price, and having lived through the kid's side of this one, having my dad glance through who I've been talking to every now and then is a very small price to pay for the privilege of a phone.

  • Trust is important in the relationship.

    I'm a teenager and I think it is important for the children to be able to trust their parents and their parents to trust them. It is a good thing for the parents to check the child's messages because bullying can make the teen feel like they it's not worth living, and most teenagers who are being cyber bullied are too scared to tell anyone. If the parent checks the child's messages they will trust them more when it comes to letting them go out late at night, giving them gadgets, letting them visit friends houses. If the child has nothing to hide online then the parents seeing their messages cannot do any damage. It will create trust between the parent and the child. Another thing is, if the child can't be trusted to be sensible on their mobile, they won't learn to be sensible when they leave home, and they will make many more mistakes. The need to learn to be safe online when they are young, and this will teach them to be careful. The parents can't relax if their children won't let them see their texts. It isn't an invasion of privacy because parents are responsible for their children and it is their business what the children get up to on their phone. It isn't fair on the parents if they can't know more about their children's lives. It will make a better relationship between them.

  • Parents Should be Prudent

    Parents obviously should be allowed to read their children's text messages if they feel the need to do so. Prohibiting this would similar to prohibiting police from pulling over drunk drivers. Nobody wants to get pulled over by the police but we always worry about the other person driving drunk and recklessly. Similarly, parents need this right because of those children that are either problematic or incapable of making good decisions. Parents whose children do not fall into this category should be careful about betraying their children's trusts by overusing this right to look at their texts. Maybe they should just randomly check the text messages.

  • If you do not want the kid to resent you then don't

    I caught my mom reading my messages one day when I accidently left my phone in her room just cause its there doesn't mean you have the right to look through it. I have never given my mom the reason to not trust me. Never drink never smoke I grew up around a church and have never done anything bad at school. I'm 16 and I just think if I wanted to tell you something I was talking to about my friends then I would have don't force your way into my life. I cant trust her much anymore she always lies to me about things I know about already don't try to be so controlling that you need to read your kids text. Well I'm getting a lockable phone in a couple of months and I'm excited because I don't want to have my parents always knowing what I'm talking about with my friends sometimes my friends just get it unlike parents since your friends are more modern and they do spend a lot more time with you. Just don't do it unless you want your kid to not trust you. Parents these days are way to controlling just back off and stop trying to control your teen its their life not yours so just let them breathe!

  • Again I believe it is a complete invasion of privacy

    At the moment my parents are no longer on speaking terms with me as a result of them going through all the messages on my phone. The main reason for this is the crude language one of my friends very infrequently used. When they are reading my messages they are taking everything entirely out of context, and while I agree the language was inappropriate the reason for it made it almost justified. I think all teenagers can agree with me that high school does but huge strain on relationships with family and even how you see yourself. At times the only people you want to talk to are your friends. My parents refuse to believe this, claiming that in our family friends should only be told the trivial funny stories and the really troubling things should be told to them. Then when I came out to find them going through my phone I decided to always delete every message I get immediatley and them reading the messages in the first place has only ended up distancing us even further. Parents should not read their teen's messages, it is as simple as that.

  • It will create a massive barrier between you and your kid!

    It is a complete intrusion of privacy, my mum has recently done it to me and it has left a dent in out relationship, I have now put a lock on my phone and don't feel I can trust my mum. Nothing can make reading someone elses messages without permission justified! My mum checked my messages because she saw I was messaging a 19 year old guy and I am 14 and she didn't approve and told me to stop messaging him as it was inapropriote, but my mum got the complete wrong idea about it, the guy is like an older brother to me and has given me some good responsible advise like this?ouraging alcohol etc. He was a gap student at my school which is how I met him. I no longer trust my mum like before. So the moral of the story, never read your teenagers messages, trust them to come to you with issues

  • Everything can't be shared with them

    Well it's true that parents are concerned about their children but allowing them to read child's text messages is wrong, every one have his/her personal life and not everything can be shared with parents. Also relationship between parents and child should be that much strong that they don't need to read his/her messages for knowing what's going on his/her life.

  • Teens need there privacy

    I think that teens need there privacy and I believe that if a parent need to check a teens phone than they definatly didnt do a good job at parenting first of all when your in their teen years you start to have male or female friends and I think that it private what you and your male or female friend is conversating about I remember when my mom thought I was talking to older guys when I clearly wasnt just because I was private, it immbarrising to sit and see your parents read text messages and viewing call records and I feel that when a parent feel the need to do so anyway there I definantly no trust their and I strongly believe that that belittles a teen

  • No matter what age the child should have their own privacy

    It destroys the trust between the parent and child. Would parents like it if I went through their texts, their purses, and their phones? Legally they have a right but honestly that's the stupidest and most pathetic thing I have heard. Your child deserves respect.

  • No.

    It is a serious invasion of privacy and a voilation of trust. Yes, teens could be doing bad things through texting, but to look through the messages would be very bad! It is basically like the parents screaming at the child, 'we don't trust you, you cant be trusted to do the right thing. We want to know everything you and your friends/(boy/girl)friend talk about!' it is just wrong.

  • The child will rebel

    I'm 15 years old, my parents had been hacking my Facebook account 2-3 times a week without telling me, they read all my messages and it was not okay! I understand I am mature enough to know my parents love me, they want the best for me, a bright future, however I need space to build my personality and to find who I am, I'll learn by doing rather than my parents lecturing me. It makes me lose trust in them. I spent years showing my parents I'm mature, bubbly and hardworking daughter who is perfect. But I can't be like that 24/7 I also have a life out of home where I can be myself. I socialize a lot now that it's summer but during exam time I stopped all of that. I studied. I did my best to make my parents proud. But when they go checking my texts and inbox without telling me. Its frustrating, it makes me not try to please them anymore.

  • It does make the teen feel untrusted and may make them feel uncomfortable with their phone.

    I personally don't think it is fair because even though adults still have control of their teens, doesn't mean they should be able to get into their privacy. The parent could at least check their phone randomly so if the child was doing something bad, the parent could catch them. Either way, being able to check everything the child is saying is unfair. We are all people and even though teens are younger doesn't mean that parents are better because there are a whole lot of teens are a lot more responsible and smarter than most adults.

  • I don't think so.

    I believe that parents shouldn't snoop around their teens things because it will cause them to act up and maybe even stop talking to you. If you're concerned that your child is having problems or you think their talking with some stranger. Instead of snooping around in their stuff just ask them. That would bring you guys closer. Just don't look through their things they'll believe you did something wrong or that you don't trust them. Thank you and have nice day!

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Anonymous says2013-02-14T06:14:00.843
Good parenting is a direct result of good communication. Children need to feel safe in communicating anything to their parents without fear of judgment or excessive punishment. The invasion of privacy is a great way to destroy the communicative lines between parents and children. At its core, reading a child's text messages is invading their privacy. Everyone deserves privacy. What is amazing is that when the privacy of an individual is respected, freely communicated ideas will fallow. The answer to getting your child to open up to you is not to dig for their secrets, instead parents need to create a safe and comfortable environment where children feel good about communicating anything to their parents.
Anonymous says2013-03-02T02:23:24.580
I'm 17 nearly 18 and my mum stills looks through every inch of my phone and it gets pretty annoying. Every time she sees a message she doesn't like she tells me off and I always tell her that this is how we girls talk we are a different generation than you but she never understands. I'm sick and tired of this, I do nothing that my parents can lose trust in me and I don't even go out.. And now I'm too scared to send any messages to anyone or receive any messages because I know my mum would read it!!
Anonymous says2013-03-06T04:47:19.860
Ok i have read both siides and frankly i think all parents should keep close eye on there child i looked this up to get answers for my situation but it seems i have already known my answer becasue tonight if i would not have read my daughters facebook i would not have found out that there was a child trying to push drugs on her now i am very glad i did so for those of you that say you need to trust your child i do trust my child its the other children i don't trust just as if your in a relationship you trust your man but you dont trust the woman well think about it ,, common since goes a long ways
Anonymous says2013-05-18T19:08:15.567
My father, whom I live with, has NEVER read any of my text messages. If he did, I would probably go off on him because it is MY privacy and what I say to my friends is private. If I need to tell him about something, I'll tell him. If I'm having problems, they will become his problems WHEN I want to tell him. Otherwise, I'm mature enough to deal with them ON MY OWN. No, not all teenagers are mature enough to do this, but they should have the INDIVIDUAL RIGHT to their own messages between friends. Now, if the parents had the BETTER JUDGEMENT to tell when something is wrong, they wouldn't have to go through their messages in the first place. I'm 17, almost out of the house and I have plenty of friends that deal with this and they have major trust issues because of it.
Anonymous says2013-05-23T03:50:47.860
Go for it, I mean, I'm a teenager and I don't mind any of my family members reading my texts or checking up on my location once in a while. This situation is, the majority of this generation's teenagers feel the need to hide their activity.... WHY?! What wrong have you to be discovered? If you've got nothing on you, you don't need to hide anything. Your so called "privacy" is actually quite a redundant thought considering the actual content of your text messages. Privacy? I laugh. Read my text messages all you want, what's to hide?
Quan says2013-06-18T15:04:30.957
If a parent has reason to believe that their teen is in trouble, then I wouldn't be against it. But if you're regularly invading your teen's privacy as a rule, you're overparenting and it will have an adverse effect on their development into an independent adult. Unfortunately overparenting has become the norm.
Quan says2013-06-18T15:17:37.957
The funny thing is the same parents voting "Yes" will be complaining about their adult children still living at home and can't take care of themselves. I wonder if they'll figure out why.
Anonymous says2013-06-21T00:54:17.750
Yes and No. I mean sometimes I text back and forth with my brother since I never see him and if my parent's WANT to know what we're talking about they can just ASK me. I'll tell them. But, I don't text anyone outside of my family ever. I have better things to do with my time. I do not like the generation I ended up getting thrown into one bit. However, on another point I love writing and I keep a journal of poems and stuff and if someone tried to read it I would not be happy. Because I have my personal thoughts that even my best friend would never know in there. And so if someone in my family even tried to read it I would probably never speak to them again. So, it depends on the child, really. It's probably a good idea to play it safe and ask your child if you can read their messages.
Elizabeth_Wilde says2014-07-08T19:31:24.480
It's just plain annoying. I hate having my mother read through every conversation with me and my best friend. Her and I talk about every thing and my mother reads the texts and complains and bashes me about not speaking to her about my emotional life. Some things on my phone are mainly between me and my close friends, and there is a reason I don't open to my mom. She snoops through my phone when she grounds me as well as my email and talks about me and my friends behind my back. She doesn't allow me to see my friends because of the information about them she has seen on my phone. She wont allow me to text them at any point if I am around her, and invades my privacy all the time. My trust with her is broken, and I will never talk about my problems to her because I simply cannot trust that she will keep them to herself! I have gotten in the habit of just deleting the messages when she takes my phone, and resetting my gmail password so she cant access it. I hate that I have to do that, and I am not trying to hide anything important, but she is invading my life too much! I can't have a simple conversation when I am sad, to my friends, without her reading it then giving me a hour long lecture about how she feels and demands that I talk to her about it. I am only 14 and my mother is making my life at home a living hell. And I sometimes don't want to even go home, and she is so rude around me when my friends come over, as well as she insults me in front of them. My mom and I cannot go a day without fighting. I hate it, and I have sworn, as soon as I can drive, I am getting out of this town. My friends have had to wipe tears from my face before, because my mother has done so much damage, and she will not try to fix it. I just don't know what to do.

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