Women taking their husband's surname is still common practice despite feminism and women's liberation becoming the status quo, More or less. Most women are not radical feminazis who view taking their husband's surname as degrading.
The fact that this tradition has endured despite opposition from radical feminists, Proves that women are still concerned with family. Taking your husband's surname symbolizes the couple becoming one under God. The man is the head of the household and so the wife takes his name to represent her joining his family.
No one should be forced to change their name for their spouse but if you are a woman and you refuse to do this, You may be insulting/disappointing your husband regardless of how they feel about the matter or what they say they feel about the matter.
Don't think men don't understand the struggle in changing part of your identity. It can ve gard but that's exactly why it means so much to men. You can make your maiden name part of your middle name to compensate for this radical change in self. Think of it as the birth of something new and better.