Do Women Really Know What They Want? (In a relationship that is)

Posted by: SweetTea

Do females 35 & under really know what they want? Are they happyily looking or haplessly confused? The internet dating sites are overflowing, but is anyone having success? Sure, handsome would be nice. But looks fade with age. Money is great too, but it doesn't make the sheets sizzle. Sex has its pros, but lust only takes a relationship so far. This is an interesting phenomenon for women of my age-group. Even more interesting, is that there is actually now a book being marketed (Marry Smart) to aid the love

15 Total Votes

Listening To Their BFFs Too Much

Women are, by nature, jealous individuals. They always have been. If you are running every decision by your BFFs, they may be intentionally shooting down your dates and/or giving you bad advice. If you are woman enough to hop in the sack, you should...  be confident enough to make such decisions WITHOUT the BFFs   more
9 votes

Women Need To Priortize What They Want In A Mate

In other words, focus on the individual. This goes deeper than skin. So, don't waste your best years on being a material girl. Is he (or she) employed? Are they mentally stable? Do they have faults that you can live with? It's time to accept that yo... u aren't perfect. Do they share a dream for the future that is similar to yours, i.e. children? Do they abuse drugs and/or alcohol? When you shop, you prioritize. Why would you do less, now   more
3 votes

Women Are Clueless

They simply don't know what they want. This leads from one dead-end relationship to another.
2 votes
1 comment

Career Consumes Their Life

Their life is so consumed by their career, there isn't time for anything or anyone else.
1 vote

Just Waiting For The Biological Clock To Ring

They are postponing a serious relationship until they are older & closer to that whole biological clock count-down.
0 votes
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SweetTea says2014-03-31T09:59:08.9642697-05:00
Do females 35 & under really know what they want? Are they happyily looking or haplessly confused? ***Typo*** ... Happily! Sorry about that.
Haroush says2014-03-31T10:02:07.7726159-05:00
In all honesty, it depends on each woman individually. As there is mature ones and immature ones. Just like with men. Though speaking of stereotypical women, they need to get their priorities straight.
Haroush says2014-03-31T10:02:20.0498946-05:00
The same goes with men.
kbub says2014-03-31T10:06:08.2637575-05:00
Sooooooo sexist.
Haroush says2014-03-31T10:09:16.4009635-05:00
Aren't all stereotypes about gender sexist? Though isn't there some truth to stereotypes too as there are stereotypical people?
Haroush says2014-03-31T10:17:46.9142360-05:00
I know one thing.... Watch out for women when they are going through their mid life crisis as they can be like a manically depressed person. Sometimes they even revert back to when they were a teenager as a fear of getting older. Though this is why it takes someone who is understanding of these things (love) to be able to maintain a marriage.
Haroush says2014-03-31T10:31:58.3761746-05:00
If these women in question prioritized more they wouldn't listen to their BFF's so much.
SweetTea says2014-03-31T10:36:48.2394548-05:00
Haroush ... You crack me up! But you are right. Some people cannot handle the reality of being middle-aged. You wake-up, look in the mirror & realize that more of your life is behind you than in front. It's sobering. Still, I think, if you live your life with little to no regrets ... Middle-age can be very liberating. I'm enjoying it!
Haroush says2014-03-31T10:46:10.6026089-05:00
Sweet, You have good point there. Living your life with little to no regrets. It's not saying you should forget about the horrible things you may have done in the past, but you should learn from them and be happy for who you are. At the same time, being happy for who you are doesn't mean letting go of yourself as some people take it.
Haroush says2014-03-31T10:49:52.7649911-05:00
At the same time, I must say men around your age aren't doing a good job at taking care of their women. It saddens me honestly. Majority of them want to go on their separate way just because of a few years of psychological distress. Though if they truly loved their wives, they'd stick with them through thick and thin.
Pfalcon1318 says2014-03-31T11:24:09.5219252-05:00
Haroush, i don't see how loving someone and being with them are the same thing. For one, that assumes that the couple has a relationship without problems. "If a man loved his wife, he would stick it out". Stick what out? You do realize most divorces are initiated by WOMEN? There are varying reasons why, but it should be obvious then BOTH parties are to blame, not always, or only, men. Heck, i'm sure some of it just as often only the woman's fault. "A few years of psychological distress" is not something to be taken lightly. If it were, more men than women would divorce. "Majority of them want to go on their separate ways".... Sexist generalization. Especially considering, as i mentioned above, WOMEN initiate divorces more often. I would argue that the most likely issue is lack of communication, vulnerability, and intimacy. Any relationship that lacks these is doomed to failed. Heck, you practically have to get them in this order for anything to work out in the long run. And @kbub, I'm trying to figure out what about this is sexist. It doesn't make any judgement calls, it follows the stereotype, that it seems to me, a lot of women will play into. If women know what they want, they should be more VOCAL instead of assuming men can read minds, which is an issue that arises from (would you look at that?) LACK OF COMMUNICATION, and possibly lack of vulnerability.
SweetTea says2014-03-31T11:28:13.2110654-05:00
Pfalcon1318 ... I think Haroush was referring to a specific age group (50+) and not men in general. You are correct that women cheat, too. In fact, women are cheating more than ever before. Http://www.Huffingtonpost.Com/2013/07/02/cheating-wives_n_3536412.Html
Haroush says2014-03-31T11:38:36.6602951-05:00
That is correct at Sweet tea. Falcon just misunderstood me on my point.
kbub says2014-03-31T13:01:30.6288842-05:00
I mean this poll is soooooo sexist
maddymoneyy says2014-03-31T13:16:37.1350951-05:00
I don't get it.
SweetTea says2014-03-31T13:18:59.7512093-05:00
Kbub ... How exactly is this poll sexist? I'd love to hear you, as a male, explain that. The poll was created by little, old me -- a woman! The subject title was taken from a movie title "What Women Want" that starred Mel Gibson & Helen Hunt. The subject matter is, as I stated, a phenomenon that many women my age find interesting. By comparison, my age group (when under 35) didn't lean on a posse of BFFs. Nor did a major publishing house, in this country, see a market for a book entitled "Marry Smart". My generation didn't need directions for such things. So why is it necessary now? Discussing this is no more sexist than a Victoria's Secret ad for bras & panties. It's reality, hon -- NOT sexism!
Cat_Lover says2014-03-31T13:31:51.9090389-05:00
Kbub, its not sexist. It's true.
Haroush says2014-03-31T14:53:50.5392554-05:00
Watch out for the PC police. You will get a warning if you aren't politically correct. Possibly pulled over and thrown in jail.
Venusara says2014-04-01T08:29:24.3343008-05:00
There is no option for yes, they do know what they want?
SweetTea says2014-04-01T10:19:59.1660315-05:00
Venusara ... I realize that. And I am certain a few women, in this age group, do know what they want. However, there are a lot of unhappy females out there -- searching. Why is that? A major publishing house, in America, just released a book entitled "Marry Smart: Advice for Finding THE ONE". Publishing houses don't print books that won't make money. Nowadays, a first-time author must sell between 250,000-500,000 books. So, publishing sees a market. I'm 54 and nobody published a book like that, when I was age 35 or under! If you look at online dating statistics, the percentage of users overall is slightly greater with men. But ... If you look at age, it's another story. Women, age 26, have more online pursuers than men. By age 48, men have twice the number of online pursuers than women. So, despite getting older, the guys are doing something right. The women are not. Why is that? Modern women usually retain their health, looks & weight. Yet, they cannot attract an equal number of pursuers. Obviously, the females are doing something wrong and it's happening after age 26! Http://www.Statisticbrain.Com/online-dating-statistics/
Cat_Lover says2014-04-01T10:21:38.8662706-05:00
@haroush, I've been in trouble with them before, they're called democrats.
Venusara says2014-04-01T15:18:55.6755968-05:00
@Sweettea, And am still unsure if middle aged men having more pursuers is due to has more to do with it being more socially acceptable for men to date younger, or if it is due to more middle age men giving up on relationships altogether after a failed one (or more)? I guess that would depend on the number of middle aged men vs. Women on dating sites, but I didn't see that stat. In either case, I'm not sure that middle aged men having more pursuers means that men are "doing something right" or that they are more mentally healthy or satisfied overall....
Venusara says2014-04-01T15:20:10.7647658-05:00
^^* that was supposed to say @Sweettea, I checked out your link and am still unsure....
SweetTea says2014-04-01T15:30:30.1163306-05:00
Venusara ... I hate you are having problems with the link. It has interesting stats. I realize you are "under 35", so please don't be offended. This is a phenomenon that women in my age group discuss rather often. When books are being published addressing the issue & online dating stats become gender-lopsided over 35, it adds credence to the argument.
Venusara says2014-04-01T16:02:28.1990313-05:00
No, I saw the page you sent and I agree it's interesting, but what I was looking for that I did not see was stats on the number of men vs. Women on dating sites divided into groups by age. The reason I was interested in this was because I wonder why there are more men on dating sites over all, but middle aged men are twice as likely to be pursued as middle aged women. Two things immediately came to mind: 1) there are an equal number of middle aged men and women on dating sites but the women are looking for partners their own age while the men are looking for younger partners hence middle aged men are more often pursued. 2) There are more middle aged women on dating sites than men, perhaps due to single men being more pessimistic about relationships in general in that age range and no longer seeking a partner, because as far as I know there should still be a relatively equal number of men and women (speaking of the U.S.) and most are in monogamous marriages so that would mean that in theory there would also be an equal number of middle aged male/female single folks out there. Either way, I don't think those stats prove anything about how men are doing something "right" or are overall happier. And I just now thought about the LGBT community, not sure how those statistics might sway things....Anyway, no way am I offended :) I think many women are extremely confused by the messages that are sent out in society to be everything at once. But I also think modern men face the same dilemma.
Haroush says2014-04-01T16:12:22.8904434-05:00
I still ask this question.. Don't all these things fall under priorities in some way, shape, or form?
Venusara says2014-04-01T16:20:30.7679708-05:00
Good point, prioritization is never a bad thing, *went back and voted*
SweetTea says2014-04-01T16:47:33.0067697-05:00
Venusara ... Advice from one "seasoned" gal to a young chick, men DON'T change. The day you give birth to a son, you begin to understand your husband ... Your father ... Your grandfather, etc. So, I think the confusion young females struggle with (for lack of a better way to bundle it) probably frustrates men of the same age group, but ... It isn't the same struggle. We are the more complicated of the sexes. To all the guys reading this post, I mean no harm. So, please, don't take offense. It's just my observation that the overall needs & concerns of men haven't changed. They are modern with the times, but not different. The older I get, the easier I find that men are to understand. The know what they want & they go after it. Simple, but effective.
Venusara says2014-04-01T17:00:30.2661521-05:00
@SweetTea, I always thought those differences had more to do with with personal experience gained since birth over biologically different ways of thinking, but I haven't had children so I'll admit I may be missing something here lol
Haroush says2014-04-02T15:47:56.9669803-05:00
Simplicity smoothes out the rigidness of complication. Rigidness keeps simplicity on it's toes.
SweetTea says2014-04-02T15:58:21.3331205-05:00
I'll add this ... I have also observed that men often times leap into careers, projects, etc. with little to no planning. They are, almost by nature, risk takers. Women -- not so much. When these men do leap into things, they usually succeed. So, their simplicity ... Driven by high motivation ... Equates to success. It's also been my humble observation that some of the most successful women, in the world today, have the ability to think like men. That may sound crazy, but there still is an "Old Boy Network". Ignoring the fact is naïve. Accepting it & mastering the game is bold ... Ballsy ... Ambitious ... Cunning ... And very intelligent.

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