Is telling somebody to stop, giving a command.

Posted by: Wylted

If telling somebody to stop a command can you please suggest a way in the comments to make it sound more like a request than a command. Use the following example. Some playful banter offends you, is merely saying stop and nothing else a command and if so, what do I say to make it sound like a request.

  • It is a command

  • It is a request

88% 7 votes
12% 1 votes
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    Posted by: hect
  • I see it as a command. Sometimes you have to say "stop" for people to respect your boundaries. You have to sometimes be assertive. If you are making a request, they may see it as an option to continue.

    Posted by: Najs
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PetersSmith says2015-06-06T17:46:11.7779810-05:00
Why don't we add some context as to why you're asking this question, hmm? How about this, is telling someone to stop synonymous to saying "F*ck you"? Do you want to provide a reasonable argument for that too? Saying stop is controlling, immature, and rude, even though it was in response to a perverse comment that made me uncomfortable?
Wylted says2015-06-06T17:50:33.8457386-05:00
Well you could argue that anything makes you uncomfortable. The context is left out to avoid bussing the poll. However full context would include that you have a male's name which would make people think you're a male, and light sexual banter is usually seen as joking between males, though it's usually aboided with females you don't know well, due to the percieved gender inequality. IF I told Airmax to bend over for example it would be different than telling Esocial to. There is no percieved inequality between me and Airmax. Perhaps if you don't want to be treated like a guy, you shouldn't have chosen that user name. Also I compared it to saying fvck you, to try to convey to you, how rude it comes across as to other people.
airmax1227 says2015-06-06T18:00:31.6041158-05:00
In the context of this question which wasn't provided, what difference does it make? If you offended someone and they asked you to stop, why should it matter whether it is a request or a demand? If you aren't completely antisocial, shouldn't the fact the the individual made clear that you made them uncomfortable be enough to comply with their request/demand to stop (use whatever term you like)? Does semantic quibbling here really change what the outcome should be? That outcome being that you simply stop offending that person.
Wylted says2015-06-06T18:03:22.4784525-05:00
No, because if playful banter that normally wouldn't offend people, ends up offending somebody, they should respond in a polite way. Commanding somebody as if they are beneath you, is in no way appropriate. I agree you should stop, even if they rudely command you to, but I don't think there is anything wrong with pointing out their rudeness. It would be a double standard to say they can comment on how you offended them but you shouldn't be able to comment on how they offended you
hect says2015-06-06T18:16:11.0509685-05:00
Ah the king and queen of censoring return
airmax1227 says2015-06-06T18:16:56.3106521-05:00
Seems pretty childish in any case. If you offended someone unintentionally, just accept it, apologize and move on. Being offended by the way they expressed how they were offended seems to be rather petty. I'm not implying that the person who was offended couldn't be more tactful, but then getting into an argument about the proper way to express offense seems to be kinda ridiculous. In the context of this, it's not as though you have a reputation for concern for things that might offend. The fact that someone might just tell you "to go tell hell" as a means of expressing as much, doesn't seem like going too far. That it then becomes an argument over the way to express offense is just quibbling semantics in a way to put some type of blame on them for being offended. "It would be a double standard to say they can comment on how you offended them but you shouldn't be able to comment on how they offended you" This seems to hardly be the issue. If you are so offended by how someone might express their being offended, you shouldn't be putting yourself in a position where you are likely to offend someone since you are so sensitive to it. Just to be clear here, I'm not saying someone should go overboard because you misread a social cue, everyone is responsible for their actions - even in response to others. What I am saying is that if you are going to demand some type of specific decorum in the way people reply to you when you offend them, perhaps you should try harder not to offend. Ultimately, just to look at this question broadly and without assuming anything of the context, it seems like it's deflecting the issue from what was the catalyst for the issue, onto something else entirely.
Wylted says2015-06-06T18:39:31.2591083-05:00
I'm not blaming Peter for being offended. Though I'm certainly confused as to why, and it seems insensible from my end. Apologizing for causing offense is certainly wrong in most cases. An apology would imply I did something wrong. Though continuing to offend somebody in an interaction may be wrong, the initial act is not. Anything can be considered offensive, so it's silly to be so guarded and in a constant state of fear of offending in interactions. However it is certainly reasonable to apologize to somebody when you directly insult them by implying they're beneath you or inferior to you as a human being. Again, this is not about the initial reaction of being offended. I'm not wrong for what I said and Peter is not wrong for being offended, but the reaction is the only thing I'm concerned about and honestly me and Peter have been talking a lot in PM and though I think we are starting to understand each other a lot better. If the dialogue continues, I'm sure we'll come to a full understanding, but the continuation of the dialogue is dependent on Peter, I'm very intrigued by the conversation, but it may be boring her.
Wylted says2015-06-06T18:51:15.8310575-05:00
Fine! It should be obvious, but I have a huge inferiority complex. If anyone even slightly implies I'm inferior in any way it sends me off in a furious rage. There is nothing that hurts my ego more than attacking my inferiority complex. I'm sorry. My inferiority complex is my fault, not yours. I still think you were wrong, but that doesn't mean I should go over board. I should just drop it and fume inside, while hiding my internal rage from everyone. I'm sorry Peter, not for my initial offensive comment, but I'm sorry for showing how offended I was. Again, I'm sorry Peter.
hect says2015-06-06T18:57:39.5266326-05:00
Offence is taken not given
Forthelulz says2015-06-06T19:09:38.6887758-05:00
I give offense to you, hect. Censorship is a very good idea, because everything here is DDO IP. Airmax and Co. Are simply executing DDO rules when they blam you.
hect says2015-06-06T23:13:34.2717140-05:00
@Forthelulz: well I am not offended so you did a shocking job
hect says2015-06-07T01:01:48.7136215-05:00
This pole is clearly offensive to PetersSmith and has been reported
hect says2015-06-07T01:03:03.4621386-05:00
Wylted says2015-06-07T01:03:50.0913356-05:00
Well, I didn't even name Peter in the poll and nobody would know this was a referance to a conversation I had in PM with Peter if it not for Peter saying so. Also Aurmax and Peter are both mods and they've seen it, so the mods are aware of this.
you_have_been_censored says2015-06-07T01:07:05.0170841-05:00
Hect your sarcasm is offensive and has been reported.
hect says2015-06-07T01:19:00.4624424-05:00
@you_have_been_censored: wtf?
hect says2015-06-07T01:20:45.9828716-05:00
@Wylted: I was joking
Wylted says2015-06-07T01:23:14.6381303-05:00
I had a feeling you were. Lol
you_have_been_censored says2015-06-07T01:24:35.5100855-05:00
Hect your inappropriate humor is inappropriate and has been reported. Also the use of (wtf) made me sound out an offensive word in my head and is thus offensive and has been reported.
hect says2015-06-07T01:28:35.5700555-05:00
@you_have_been_censored: This has to be a stitch up

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