There are was to teach your child through developmental years that are much more effective than through violence and fear. Operant Conditioning by B.F. Skinner is the usual way to rear children without 'spanking' them. Children actually do not learn when they are hit. They only become afraid, angry, and cannot cope. This bleeds over into adulthood. When the adult gets into a stressful situation, they have not learned coping skills and the only response I anger and acting out. The adult has not learned how to deal with emotions or how to work through problems. That is why you see adult anxiety and depression so rampant. Fear and violence is just a control method for a moment and the child does not learn respect or gain character from it for you or himself. You are the adult, you are the model for the child to learn from.