Which animal would win in a fight?

Posted by: TheRussian

Which of these animals do you think would win in a straight up fight to the death?

Vote
20 Total Votes
1

Tiger

9 votes
1 comment
2

Grizzly Bear

4 votes
0 comments
3

Wolf

3 votes
0 comments
4

Walrus

3 votes
3 comments
5

Lion

1 vote
0 comments
6

Cheetah

0 votes
0 comments
Leave a comment...
(Maximum 900 words)
SamStevens says2014-07-30T14:14:23.7282182-05:00
Also, the lion is not the king of the jungle. More like the king of the savanna. Even so, a tiger should have no problem taking it down. That is my 2¢'s.
PeacefulChaos says2014-07-30T14:14:57.3156641-05:00
Yeah right. The walrus will crush them all with his fat blubbery godliness.
SamStevens says2014-07-30T14:16:39.9826682-05:00
No it wouldn't. It would have to jump on them to do that. Last time I checked, a bull walrus could not jump that high to land on an animal such as a tiger or bear.
PeacefulChaos says2014-07-30T14:18:23.0209182-05:00
Do not underestimate the walrus. For he rules mankind. You cannot escape him. He will destroy all of these puny animals with a wave of his tusk. Beware his amazingness.
SamStevens says2014-07-30T14:19:29.7281027-05:00
The polar bear had no trouble dispatching a bull walrus despite his tusks. The video link is in my comment with my vote if you want to watch it.
Preston says2014-07-30T15:08:13.8015338-05:00
Oompahloompa
PeacefulChaos says2014-07-30T16:47:17.8590404-05:00
That walrus was merely an imposter. Should it have been a real walrus, he would have leaped 3000 feet into the air and crushed the bear with his awesome aura. He would proceed to demolish it with his razor sharp whiskers and conquer all the bears in the land.
neptune1bond says2014-07-30T16:54:08.4982218-05:00
The walrus is the supreme ruler of ultimate awesomeness, so even if another animal were to kill a walrus, the other animal still loses (because how much more of a loser can you be than to kill the supreme ruler of ultimate awesomeness?!). Therefor, the walrus wins every fight, every time! Also, everything PeacefulChaos has said up till my post is completely and utterly true.
PeacefulChaos says2014-07-30T18:39:10.7132893-05:00
Yes, we are the Walrus messiahs. Bow down before us.
neptune1bond says2014-07-30T19:12:05.8884024-05:00
PeacefulChaos and I will now be accepting donations for the church of the divine walrus messiahs. We will accept as payment either cash, check, money order, or the tears you shed as the walrus kicks the crap out of whatever piddly little animal you think is better. We also will be forming our company "the divine walrus inc." where we will produce various walrus themed gifts and paraphernalia. We already have developed a bobble-head prototype that will be available for purchase at the end of August, 2014. Unfortunately, the walrus birthing videos did not do well with our 5 year old test group, so that product must go through further revision before it will be released.
SamStevens says2014-07-30T19:14:35.5538534-05:00
@netptune1bond: "divine walrus messiahs" The walrus messiah is a false prophecy. Send money to the messiah of the harbor seal.
neptune1bond says2014-07-30T19:54:36.6468532-05:00
@SamStevens You only believe the walrus messiah to be a false prophecy because you have been worshiping false idols and demons. The harbor seal has no messiah, it's just an underling to the mighty walrus. I can see how you might be mislead into sin by the cuteness of the harbor seal. But, as it says in the holy book called the "Walrusinomicon": Revelations 4:6- "Yea and behold, the multitude shall be led away by the cuteness. They shall see that which is cute and say,"Therein lies the cuteness and that is my messiah. I shalt go my own way for those who do not follow the cuteness are fools." But, be not deceived for the cuteness is a working of the evil one. Though art indeed allowed to cuddle, but though shalt NOT worship. Thus sayeth your messiah." Phyllis 8:16- "...And with cuteness it did bind their souls. And lo, they did come to it willingly for the cuteness was enticing and seductive. And with fine chords of cuteness they were imprisoned, but as they witnessed that fine chords did become thick rope, it was too late and they did suffer. At this they cried out repentance for their vain pride, but they were beyond the mercy of the walrus and the walrus did weep at their iniquity." Bob 9:18- "The walrus is the way and the light. They who do not follow the way of the walrus are fools and charlatans, for they will not survive the judgement of the almighty walrus in the last days. For when they stand before the judgement seat of the walrus, their evil deeds will cause the divine one to turn away and say,"you are not mine". And thus will the messiah turn away and also say,"I cannot advocate for you, for you have rejected me. Therefor you shall answer for thy own sins."
SamStevens says2014-07-30T19:59:52.9709104-05:00
I have been converted to the walrus messiah!
neptune1bond says2014-07-30T19:59:59.0213242-05:00
Oops, some of those "though"s were meant to be "thou"s. I didn't mean to misquote the holy book.
neptune1bond says2014-07-30T20:01:03.2009584-05:00
You are forgiven. Go forth and sin no more.
neptune1bond says2014-07-30T20:01:58.5040219-05:00
Huzzah and hallelujah!
PeacefulChaos says2014-07-30T20:03:06.9569104-05:00
Neptune, SamStevens, we must share of our new revelation to our fellow DDOers. Let the walrus empire spread to the world! We will accept the seal brothers.
SamStevens says2014-07-30T20:03:55.7402764-05:00
Agreed!
neptune1bond says2014-07-31T06:13:04.8400074-05:00
All must hear of the holy words that are written within the walrusinomicon. Praise be!
Falperolf says2016-10-27T21:15:39.1081755Z
Wow! Also, is it just 1 wolf?

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